Forget Me Not
by Mercy2908
Summary: When the Civil War finishes, men return to their homes, except for one.
1. Chapter 1

**This is another old story of mine. It is actually the first one I completed. The writing is not superb, and some plot points are a bit weak, but thanks if you decide to give it a chance**

**Chapter 1**

The war had been over for two years, and life in Sweetwater seemed to go back to normal. Men had returned from war broken and shattered, no matter what side they had been fighting for, winners or losers, neither had reasons to celebrate a victory that had caused hundreds of thousands of deaths and had left a bleeding wound in the country. It had been four long years of fighting, and everybody was just happy that the conflict had finally come to its end.

It felt like ages since the Pony Express had delivered the mail all along the west. The riders had stopped their daily work with the appearance of the telegraph and the imminent war. The way station in Rock Creek had been one of the last to shut down but eventually the day had come when the riders had to say good-bye to their way of life. Everybody had to find another road to ride on in an uncertain future. The influence of the war had been impossible to ignore, and some had joined the conflict that had split the country into two.

Cody had been the first to join the army, always anxious for adventure and action; his decision had not left his fellow riders indifferent. It had stirred a commotion in the usually laid-back atmosphere of the bunkhouse. However, he was just the first one. Others just followed his example. Soon after the station had definitely closed down, Jimmy had gone. And then one miserable morning Kid had kissed his wife good-bye to head for the south where he would join the Confederate Army.

It had been six long years, and the war was just a bad memory for most people. Everybody wanted to forget. But not Lou, she didn't want to forget, she couldn't forget. It was her memories that kept her going every day. Her husband had left one cold morning six years ago and had never come back. Louise had witnessed how her friends, her neighbors, and local people had eventually returned one by one except for her husband. Cody and Jimmy had been back for over two years, but nothing had been heard from her husband, from Kid. His name hadn't been on the deceased list. The only thing that she had been able to find out was that her Kid had disappeared in battle. For the majority that was just another way of saying that he was dead. Yet, she couldn't and wouldn't believe that. She couldn't just forget and keep going. In her heart she felt that her husband would return one day. She couldn't lose faith. She needed to keep believing.

As Lou scanned the view from the verandah of her house, she felt very proud of what they had achieved. Soon after their wedding they had got the property in Sweetwater from Emma. The town had a very special place in her heart since she had lived many special moments there. In Sweetwater she had found a family, she had fallen in love, and enjoyed the first moments with Kid. However, when they had moved to Rock Creek, things had gone from bad to worse. First Ike had died and later Noah, and sadness had flooded overwhelmingly. She hadn't wanted to stay in Rock Creek, nor had Kid; there were too many bitter memories. On their new property in Sweetwater they had set up a small horse ranch. It had been their dream, and now looking at the result she could proudly admit they had done better than she had ever thought. Kid had only seen the beginning of it as he had left not much later, and she was sure that he would feel as proud as she felt right now. There had been hard and bad times she had to cope with on her own, but she had been able to get over it all. Fortunately, she had also got all the help she had needed.

After being away with his people for a while, Buck had come back to Sweetwater and become an irreplaceable hand at the ranch all these years. Then little by little she had been surrounded by those who were left of her family. First, Rachel had moved to town. A brand new hotel had opened in Sweetwater and its restaurant had required a cook. So Rachel, who had been missing Lou terribly, had not thought twice to accept the position. Teaspoon had also come back to his old job as marshal of Sweetwater. They had been an invaluable help to her, especially with her two siblings, who she sometimes seemed unable to cope with. When the war was over, Jimmy had also spent time at the ranch, but he never stayed long. He was still always on the move. Jimmy wasn't one to settle down, but every time he left she knew that he would come back. Cody was the only one who she saw less but he used to appear all of the sudden to pay them long visits.

The ranch was doing superbly. Business was flourishing more and more. The bunkhouse where they once lived as riders now housed the men who she had hired over the years. She was one of the most successful women in the territory, and she knew it.

Her siblings had grown up more quickly than she had wished. Jeremiah was now nineteen and had recently married a nice Mexican girl. At the moment he was spending some time in his wife's native land. They hadn't decided yet where to settle down. Louise feared that Jeremiah wasn't much into ranch life, and they would eventually decided to move somewhere far from Sweetwater. Theresa had grown up into a beautiful and intelligent girl. Unlike her brother who had always been the rebel type, Theresa had opted to devote all her efforts to study. She had done so well that she had managed to grasp the opportunity to go to college. Louise couldn't feel prouder of her little sister at the moment even though she missed her too much.

Her friends and family were still around after all those years. Buck had finally married, fathered two good boys, and had settled down in the white world. Rachel and Teaspoon hadn't changed much. Rachel still occupied the post of hotel cook that she had first come to, and also gave Lou a hand with the meals for the workers at the ranch from time to time. Despite the years, Louise had not really progressed much in her cooking skills, and the men were grateful when they could sample some of Rachel's tasty cooking. It was a welcome reprieve from her pathetic tasteless tries. And there was Teaspoon. He was always around, and she didn't know what she would have done without him. There had been times that she had thought that she couldn't go on any longer and Teaspoon had always pushed her in the right direction with his tactics and his wisdom.

Yes, her life seemed full of good things. She was quite well-off; she had a family and supporting friends. Apparently, she couldn't complain since she didn't lack anything, or at least that's what everybody used to tell her. But she did. Something was missing in her life, her husband. He was her whole life, and something had broken inside her the moment he had left. Sometimes she seemed to go out of her mind, wondering where he might be, if he was all right, why he didn't come back to her side. Yet, she didn't have the answers to these questions and the uncertainty drove her just crazy.

At the beginning everybody had tried their best to support her, but as time went by, everybody seemed eager to elude the subject. They thought that she was insane for believing that Kid was still alive and would eventually come back. They just insisted on her moving on. From time to time she got an earful from her siblings, Teaspoon, Buck, Rachel, and even from Jimmy during his short stays insisting she forget Kid. He was dead to all of them, and she had to bite her tongue. She couldn't, wouldn't believe that Kid had died. She couldn't come to accept it in her heart.

The evening was calm and mild. There was not a single sound that disturbed the peaceful atmosphere. Even the horses which were grazing in the nearby corral didn't dare to break the moment with their gentle neighing. Louise was leaning over the rail of her verandah taking in everything around her when a soft rustle behind her took her out of her reverie. She turned around and as she took a glimpse at the person in question, she smiled broadly.

"You sure look stunning," she said, admiring the look of Teaspoon in a neat black suit.

"Er… thank you for lettin' me use your buckboard, Lou," Teaspoon articulated uncomfortably.

"Any time, but you never told me where you are going."

"Well," Teaspoon replied with a smile. "I'm takin' a certain lady to dinner, a widow who's new in town."

Louise laughed. "I thought your romantic days were over."

"My dear girl, there's no age for romance," Teaspoon answered with a melancholic air. "But there's no romance in view for this old marshal here. I've just been appointed as the one and only welcomin' committee to this charmin' eighty-year-old lady."

Louise laughed and Teaspoon joined in her mirth. When they sobered, they kept silent for just an instant and the marshal remarked.

"It's a lovely night, ain't it?"

Louise breathed in and said softly, "Yes, it is." She paused and added sadly, "Kid would love it."

Teaspoon sighed and placing both his hands on Lou's shoulders and looking directly in her eyes he began with a tinge of worry, "Louise…" Not that he had problems talking about Kid like everybody else, but he was really concerned about Louise. She seemed unable to come to terms with the fact that her husband was not coming back. She talked about him as if Kid were still among the living. Teaspoon feared that the day the truth sank in it would be totally devastating for her.

"What?" she whispered, apprehension in her voice.

Hearing the sadness in her tone, the old marshal did not have the courage to express his concerns and just added, "Yeah, I'm sure Kid would just love it." And after saying this, he kissed her on the cheek and took his leave.

* * *

He couldn't believe that only twenty minutes had gone by since they had sat down to dinner. They hadn't finished the first course yet, and Teaspoon already knew everything about the lady's children, grandchildren, her two cats, dog and seven parrots. The woman did not stop talking, and Teaspoon feared it was going to be a very long night. He admitted that he was quite loquacious himself, but tonight it seemed that he would be unable to get a word in edgeways.

As he was trying very hard to keep up with the lady's ramblings, something or rather somebody caught his complete attention. He kept staring in shock, not believing what his eyes were seeing. "It can't be," Teaspoon uttered out loud, completely forgetting the lady opposite him. He just couldn't avert his gaze and kept watching the person in disbelief, but the harder he looked the more convinced he got. Unsure of what to believe, without saying a word to his companion, he got up from his seat and approached slowly to the aim of his attention, ignoring Mrs. Benjamin's loud protests. At one of the tables in the restaurant sat a person who he had thought was dead but apparently he had been wrong, otherwise he was just seeing a ghost.

"Kid," he called in an unsure voice.

The man who had been engaged in an animated conversation with the young woman sharing his table turned his attention to the voice which addressed him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Kid, is it really you?" Teaspoon said. "Oh God, you're alive. It's me, Teaspoon," he added watching the lack of recognition in the man. "Teaspoon, Teaspoon Hunter …"

"Excuse me, sir, but should I know you?"

"Kid, it's me, Marshal Teaspoon Hunter from the Pony Express… "He stopped short as he saw still no sign of recognition in the man. There was no doubt it was Kid. Sure he looked older after the lapse of six years, but his looks, his voice were all Kid's.

"I'm afraid that you've confused me with somebody else, Marshal Hunter," the man insisted.

Teaspoon remained speechless for an instant, but eventually he managed to articulate an apology. "Uh… yeah… that must be the case. Please excuse me if I have disturbed you."

The man smiled in acceptance. "Not at all, Marshal."

Teaspoon reluctantly returned to his table completely confused. He couldn't erase the feeling from his mind for the rest of the evening. That man was the spitting image of Kid. He talked like him, smiled like him, looked like him and behaved like him. He couldn't believe that he wasn't Kid. Teaspoon was baffled, and didn't know what to think about the whole thing. He kept watching the man from the safe position of his table. He was trying to convince himself that there was just a very strong resemblance between this man and Kid, but his eyes were telling him a different story.

The evening passed quickly. Teaspoon saw the man leaving, and he kept thoughtful all evening, undisturbed by Mrs. Benjamin's relentless conversation. He hoped that the man resembling Kid wasn't staying in town, at least not for too long. He would hate it if Lou came across him. This encounter had left the marshal jittered, and he couldn't think what it would do to Lou if she happened to see him. It would do her anything but good. In spite of her apparently usual light-hearted way, Lou was suffering inside. She just wasn't one to show.

The marshal made his way to his office alone. He had left Mrs. Benjamin in her house long ago, and since then he had been wandering about, thinking about the whole incident. The night had really turned out to be too bizarre. He couldn't make head or tail of the whole thing. As he finally entered his office, he was surprised to find the man from the restaurant waiting for him. He was accompanied by the same woman Teaspoon had seen him with.

"Marshal Hunter," the man greeted him, tilting his head politely. "Sorry to come and disturb you at this time of the night, but maybe you could help me … us."

Teaspoon, intrigued, merely nodded.

"Let me introduce myself. My name is David Kelly, and this is my fiancée Alice Campbell."

"Ma'am," Teaspoon greeted the lady with a nod of his head.

"We've been curious about what you said previously in the restaurant. You say that you know me?"

Teaspoon was silent and nodded hesitantly. The girl who hadn't said a word so far continued for him.

"Let us tell you something. A couple of years ago, almost at the end of the war, my father found a wounded soldier near our farm. He was unconscious, and had a bleeding wound on his head. He took him to our house, and there we took care of him; we nursed him and ten days later he came round. That man was David."

"When I woke up," the man said, picking up where his fiancée had left off, "I was at a loss, and Alice and her father helped me find a light in my dark confusion. I will never be able to repay them for all their help. You see, I didn't know how I had been wounded, how I had got there, or even who I was."

"What do you mean?" Teaspoon interrupted.

"What I mean is that I didn't remember. Actually, I don't remember a thing about myself or my past. We tried to find out some information, but by that time the war was over, and everything was a mess. We didn't find out anything, especially without a name to go by. Alice and her father gave me a name, a life. I now know who I am, and I love my life, but I need to know who I really am or was. Are you sure you know me?"

Teaspoon was completely baffled by the information. "Yes, I'm sure."

"And can you tell me about me?"

"I can tell you many things," the Marshal said absent-mindedly, but stopped. Narrowing his eyes, he studied Kid carefully. "Don't you remember anythin'?"

"Not a single thing."

"Nothin' at all?"

"Nope"

"Don't you remember…," Teaspoon paused tentatively. "Lou?"

"Lou?" Kid shook his head. "Should I know him?"

Teaspoon sighed and managed to give a hint of a sad smile. "I'm really glad that you're alive, son. We thought we'd never see ya again."

Kid grinned uncomfortably, and said. "So what can you tell me?"

Teaspoon began somberly. "Uh … let's see where to begin. Uh … Kid was the name you used to go by. You were always reluctant to give your real name, and that's what we all called ya. Back then, you used to work for the Pony Express, a mail service before the war. That's where all of us came together."

"Who is all of us?"

"Well, Buck, Jimmy, Cody, Ike, Noah … uh… and … Lou. All of us. We became so close that we were practically a family. Some of us are still around, others took other roads, and unfortunately, others ain't among us. Anyway, when the war broke out, it brought with it the end of the Pony Express. You decided to set up a horse ranch here in Sweetwater. It's doin' really well lately."

"A ranch!" Kid exclaimed. "You mean it's still working?

"It sure is"

"A ranch of my own. Ain't it just perfect, honey?" he addressed her fiancée, and then explained to Teaspoon. "We've been talking about settling down here in the west. Things ain't very good down in the south. I've always had this crazy idea of a ranch. Just want to settle down and get married."

The words made Teaspoon cringe. He didn't know how to say what he had to. He was also thinking about Lou, and how she would take the news. _Not very well_, he expected.

"I'm afraid there's somethin' else I must tell ya." Teaspoon began tentatively.

"Please continue," Kid said eagerly.

"This ranch of yours is not completely yours."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's not yours alone. There's somebody else."

"Oh, do I have a partner?" asked Kid.

"Sort of," Teaspoon replied cautiously. "It belongs to Lou too, uh, I mean, Louise McCloud," he paused briefly." Your wife."

"Wife?" Kid repeated in a state of shock. "I can't have a wife."

"You sure have. I married you myself."

Kid dropped to a nearby chair and sank his head into his hands.

"A… wife," the girl stuttered.

Despite the consternation Teaspoon continued talking. "Yeah, she's kept the business goin' when nobody was around. And she is doin' superbly." He paused. "Son, she'd been waitin' to see ya for so long. She never gave up hope of seeing ya again. When everybody else thought you dead, she never lost faith. I reckon she was right after all." He stopped as nobody seemed to be listening to him.

Both Kid and the girl were disconcerted to learn the news from Teaspoon. However, Alice was able to compose herself and get over her first reaction. She knelt next to her fiancé and talked to him sweetly. "David, we knew that there was a big risk if we tried to find out about your past. We just have to face anything together. We are a team, aren't we?"

Kid looked up to her for the first time and smiled sadly. The girl turned around decidedly to face the marshal.

"How long was David married to this woman?" she asked coldly.

Teaspoon did not like the way she was talking. "They've been married for about six years." He intentionally emphasized the different tense.

"No, I mean how long they lived as husband and wife."

"About three months. Then Kid left for the war." Teaspoon answered curtly.

"That's nothing. You can't call that a marriage." The girl stated happily. "You can easily get a divorce. Pa knows good lawyers."

Teaspoon could not keep silent any longer. "Kid, if you talked things through with Lou before doin' anythin' rash, I'm sure …"

"Stop calling me that name, and I don't have anything to talk to that lady about," Kid answered angrily and continued, "Alice is the only woman in my life. Nobody else. We've been together for two years, and I won't let a three month affair ruin what we have. Good night."

"It was more than …" Teaspoon tired to retort but they were already gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Morning came, and Teaspoon headed for the old way station. The previous night had brought the surprise of his life. Not only had he learned that Kid was alive but also that the young man did not have any recollections of the person he had been. Echoes of his conversation from last night with Kid and his now fiancée resounded in his mind, and Teaspoon could hardly believe this was the same man who he had taught his bag of tricks so long ago. Early this morning when he had dropped by his office, the pair had been waiting for him again. The conversation had been short and to the point: Kid simply wanted to claim his rights in the ranch.

Now Teaspoon had to play the devil's advocate and tell everything to Lou. He wasn't precisely eager to do so. He feared what Lou's reaction would be, so he thought of taking a detour and recruiting Rachel's and Buck's help. Rachel had always had a special way with Lou and Buck's calmness would be a bonus, at least he hoped so.

* * *

Three sluggish figures made their way to Lou's house. The news had come to both Rachel and Buck as a shock. Teaspoon could not have expected less. They couldn't believe that Kid was alive after all, but what they couldn't have imagined was his special condition. His apparent amnesia and his unwillingness to even talk to his wife hadn't left them indifferent.

Louise was on the porch when she saw them appear. She waved at them with a broad smile as they approached the house. In the morning light Teaspoon took his time to appraise the girl who had tricked them all into believing she was just another boy. She had grown up into such a beautiful woman. Her hair was not short any longer, but she wore it in a long and shiny braid. Her masculine clothes had made way to skirts and dresses. Work around the ranch often made her wear her old trousers, but nobody could confuse her for a man anymore. Teaspoon knew that many men had tried to court her. It was a known fact that her husband had not come back from war, that she was practically a widow, and many men had approached her with romantic intentions. Yet, Lou couldn't hear any of this. She had refused flatly all these "suitors", becoming defensive and even rude when any of these men had tried to sweet-talk her.

"Hey, strangers, what are you up to so early in the morning?" Lou asked with a smile.

"Can we talk?" Teaspoon asked straightforward.

"Sure," she replied, letting them pass before her to the house. "By the way, how was last night, Teaspoon? Did the lady succumb to your charms?" She asked mockingly.

Teaspoon did not say a word. Louise looked from one face to the other, and noticing their solemn countenances, she started to get nervous. "How serious you are today," she said softly.

"Please sit."

"You're making me nervous." Lou admitted. "Has something happened?"

Teaspoon cleared his voice and kept staring at her for an instant. He decided that he had to be straight with her and just blurted: "It's about Kid."

Hearing his words, she jumped to her feet as if the surface of the chair scalded her, and she began pacing up and down the living room frantically. "I know what you are going to say," she said angrily. "I'm sick and tired of everybody bugging me about …"

"I saw him"

Louise stopped short in her tracks and turned all her attention to Teaspoon. "What?" she let out in a quivering voice.

"I saw him last night," Teaspoon repeated.

Her eyes, big as saucers, were shining with unshed tears and for a moment she couldn't find her own voice.

"Is he all right?" she finally managed to ask.

Teaspoon just nodded, and she began laughing, her tears trickling down her face. The other three occupants of the living room kept serious, fearing what had to come afterwards.

"I knew that he wasn't dead," she said, talking rapidly and nervously. "I knew that he would come back to me. Did you talk to him? Where is he, Teaspoon? I want to see him."

"Lou, please, we need to talk about…"

"Talk about what? I don't want to talk. I just want to see my husband. Please take me to him."

"Will you calm down and sit?" Teaspoon spoke up, almost losing his patience. "There's somethin' else you need to know."

Louise reluctantly did as she had been told and waited for the marshal to tell her what he seemed so adamant to say.

"Kid was wounded in battle." Watching her face contort in worry, he hurried to reassure her. "Nothin' too serious. Some kind of concussion. As a result, he … well… lost his memory."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just that. He doesn't remember anythin' from his past. He doesn't have any recollection of his childhood, his friends, his family … nor even you."

"That's impossible. He came back to me."

"I'm sorry, honey, but he didn't. He was just passin' through town when I saw him. I'm really sorry to tell ya this, but it's the sad truth."

"I'll talk to him." she stood up and resolutely stomped towards the door.

"Louise!" Teaspoon called. "He doesn't want to talk to ya."

Lou did not want to listen; she just needed to talk to Kid. Rachel, who had been silent all this time, stood before the front door, thwarting Lou's intentions.

"Louise, please."

"Leave me alone, Rachel. Let me out."

"You have to face the truth, honey."

"What truth? The fact that he doesn't remember me? Well, I'll make him."

"No, sweetheart, the fact that he has a new life." Teaspoon said. "He's engaged to be married."

Louise was really confused. What gibberish were they talking about?

"He's married to me"

"He wants a divorce, I'm afraid." Teaspoon hated himself for telling her these terrible things.

"No," Lou wept. "Don't say that."

"Honey, we don't wanna hurt you. We just want to save you from more heartache."

"Well, don't." And with that she pushed Rachel out of her way, pulled the door open, slammed it shut and was gone.

* * *

Everything seemed to have gone crazy. She hadn't heard so much rubbish in her life before. How could they say that Kid, her Kid, had forgotten her? He had promised to love and cherish her through good and bad moments before God. They were all wrong, they had to be. She just needed to see him, and then everything would be all right. They could continue where they had left off and forget about these long tortuous years apart.

Thousands of thoughts were running through her mind as she made her way to town. She was nervous at the prospect of seeing her husband for the first time in years. She also felt uneasy about what Teaspoon had told her. What if he was right? Yet, she kept trying to convince herself that everything would be fine. Suddenly a thought struck her. In her hurry she had not given a thought to the fact that she didn't have a clue where to find Kid. Teaspoon had said that he was just passing through, so she thought her best option would be to try the hotel. She tethered her horse to a nearby post and made her way to the hotel decidedly.

Lou had hardly made it to the entrance when she felt paralyzed with fear all of a sudden. This is the moment she had been dreaming about for so long, and now panic was invading all her self. What if Teaspoon was right? The words kept repeating in her mind over and over again. He had said that Kid didn't wish to see her at all. She felt that she couldn't face that. The very thought made her cringe and she felt pain course through all her body.

In that moment the hotel door opened, and as luck would have it, the very person appearing in the threshold was none other than Kid. Louise couldn't move a muscle; she felt rooted to the spot she was in. He was accompanied by a young woman, and they were laughing, much in the same way that she had shared interminable laughs with him not long ago. They passed by her side and she could swear that he didn't even know that she was there. For one tiny second she thought that he was going to turn around and come to her. But he didn't. The couple carried on unaffected, going on their way, and then she couldn't hear them any more. Lou stayed in the same spot for what seemed like hours; she couldn't move, feeling empty and totally drained. No tears came; it was as though she were incapable of feeling anything, just a terrible emptiness.

Those years, months, days, hours that she had spent waiting, praying, thinking about him had been a total waste. Life had torn them apart from the moment he had decided to fight that damned war. He had another woman, another life, and other memories, none of which included her.

She was so angry by now. If he hadn't left, they would still be living happily. But no, he just couldn't leave things alone. He had to do the damned right thing like always. Louise felt so furious that tears began streaming down her face. At that moment she felt like she was suffocating. She needed to leave, she couldn't face him again, she just couldn't. She turned around and went scampering to where her horse was.

* * *

The door opened and a very calmed Lou let herself in. Teaspoon and Rachel had been waiting for her since she had left an hour ago. She saw their concerning looks and just said, "Don't worry. I'm fine."

"Did you see him, Louise?" Rachel asked tentatively.

Lou just nodded and added, "He just passed by me … well … as if I were nobody."

"Did you talk to him?" Teaspoon asked.

Lou just shook her head. A sigh escaped her lips as she added, "It's funny. To think that everybody believed him dead, and actually it seems that I am the one who's dead. To him at least."

"Don't talk like that, Lou," Rachel scolded and took her in an embrace.

In that moment the door opened again and a breathless Buck entered.

"Lou?" He had been working in the stables when he had seen Lou arrive. Buck had no time to get her attention as she had dashed into her house.

"I'm all right, Buck."

"Sure?"

Lou just nodded. "Never mind. This incident won't make much difference to my life so far. I guess I'll just have to come to terms with that fact and carry on. That's all," Louise said, not believing her own words for a second. She just didn't know what she was feeling any longer.

Teaspoon cleared his voice. He hated to keep bringing out more bad news to her. "Louise, there's the ranch."

"What about it?" Louise asked nonchalantly.

"You're forgettin' the little detail that it is his too. And he seems interested in claimin' his rights here. So you two will have to reach some sort of agreement."

"Like hell I will!" she cried angrily.

"Lou, you can't refuse. Half of this is his by law."

"Then I'll buy his share. I have enough money, don't I?" she said decidedly.

"I'm afraid he wouldn't be interested in sellin', Lou." Teaspoon replied. "This is a flourishin' business, he's no fool."

"Then I'll sell him my part." Louise insisted.

"I don't think he has that much money to spare."

Louise was running out of options. What was she supposed to do? She turned to Buck. "I'll sell you my part, Buck," she kept trying.

"Lou, with a wife and two boys," Buck answered, "do you sincerely think that I can afford to buy your part? And anyway, what would you do then?"

She sighed audibly. "Dunno. Anything."

The marshal came closer to her and patted her shoulder affectionately. "I'm damned, Teaspoon. What am I going to do?" Teaspoon just looked at her in silence. She breathed out and sighed resignedly. "All right. You win. You two talk to him. You're in charge. Reach an agreement. Anything will suit me."

"I knew that you would do the sensible thing." Teaspoon said and then added with a smile, "That's why we all love you so much."

* * *

Teaspoon and Buck agreed to meet Kid in the restaurant. When they entered, he and his fiancée were already waiting.

"Let me introduce you to Mr. Buck Cross," the marshal said after greeting the couple.

Both Kid and the young woman shook hands with Buck, and the four of them sat to talk business. The Kiowa kept staring at his old friend. It was really weird to see Kid after these long years when they had all believed him dead. This wasn't the kind of meeting Buck would have expected. There had been no warm hugs between friends, but just a cold hand-shake. It just didn't feel right.

"Mrs. McCloud has appointed Mr. Cross and myself as her representatives. Anythin' you talk with us about has been agreed by Mrs. McCloud. All right?"

Kid agreed and added, "I just want my part, what rightly belongs to me. Nothing else."

"That means fifty per cent of the ranch. The other half belongs to Mrs. McCloud. The profits will be divided into two as well as the expenses. Here in these documents you can read all other details."

"The house belongs to Lou rightly, but you can stay in the bunkhouse with the working men," Buck added.

"I'd rather stay in the hotel for the moment. Then we will look for a property of our own to settle down … that is, once we get married."

"Very well, then," Teaspoon concluded. He was eager to finish this conversation. "You can take possession straightaway. Everythin' is agreed upon."

They shook hands and Teaspoon added seriously, "One last thing. No foul play with Lou, understood? I used to know a good young man called Kid, but I don't know _ya_. Lou's in the package, so don't try anythin' against her. I'm warnin' ya."

"Honestly, Mr. Hunter, I wouldn't want that either," Kid said sincerely. "I just want to do the right thing."

His words echoed the ones that were common in Kid years ago. Teaspoon relaxed a bit and said, "Just call me Teaspoon. See you tomorrow then."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A new morning had greeted a new day with a bright sun. A spotless cloak of blueness hovered above, and there was not a single cloud that might threaten the mild, dry weather today. It had been a very cold and rainy winter, and the fields were covered in lush green grass. There was nobody in sight as Kid rode towards the ranch, his ranch. He had not been able to sleep a wink, nervous at the prospect of seeing his ranch. His ranch. He couldn't help but repeat the same two words over and over again. It sounded unreal to his ears. But it was true.

He had had so many emotions in the last twenty-four hours that he still was unsure of how he was feeling. He had met the marshal who had shed some light on who he really was, which was something that he had been obsessed over since the day he had woken up at the Campbells'. He had really felt completely lost, and even though after the first awkward moments he had felt happy with his life, there had been a void that he had longed to fill. Now he thought he could start building up on real foundations. He had already learned some things about himself, but he was sure he still had more to know. Marshal Hunter or that Buck man could surely answer his multiple questions and curiosity.

What he was really worried about was the marriage issue. He hadn't expected that at all, and he hoped that the woman wouldn't make things awkward or complicated. He wouldn't let anything or anybody ruin what he had with Alice. She was the best thing that had happened to him. She meant the world in a moment where he hadn't had anybody to turn to. Now he had to try to get a divorce from this woman as soon as possible, and find the way to keep a distant but respectful relationship with her. He didn't have any other options but to cope with her if he wanted to settle down here.

With all these thoughts running around in his head, the ranch came into full view. He stopped the horse and took his time to study what his eyes were seeing. The view that welcomed him was incredible. Supposedly this had been his home, but nothing seemed familiar to him in the least. The doctor who had treated him had said that head injuries were a delicate matter, and there was a strong possibility that he might never recover his memories.

He approached the property at a light canter and now that he was closer he could see that there was a lot of activity going on. There were some men mucking out the stables, some others were trying to break a horse, and two more were repairing a fence. As he came closer, he saw Buck coming towards him.

"Welcome," Buck said amiably. Kid got off the horse and shook hands with him. "Let me show you around."

Buck took him on a tour around the ranch. He showed his old friend the corrals, the bunkhouse, the sheds, the pastures, and the stables. A new stable had been built, and the existing one in Pony Express times had been enlarged. The number of horses they needed to house was bigger as the number of buyers was growing more and more each year. Kid was amazed; he had never seen so many good horses together before, and everything was way better than he had already imagined it would be. _"And all this belongs to me,"_ he thought proudly.

Buck also introduced him to the men they came across on their way. Buck had told him that six men were working at the ranch, but sometimes they had to employ some temporary workers for the breeding period. The men greeted him politely, but Kid felt a tinge of reservation towards him. He wondered if it wouldn't be a bit too awkward to work with them. He guessed that they already knew that the boss hadn't come back under the circumstances everybody had expected, by accident rather than by a desire to be with his wife and at home. Kid thought that their reserved looks talked loudly of their feelings, but he would have to overlook all that and make them see that he was the boss.

"That's where I live," Buck said pointing out to a house that they could see at a certain distance.

"You live here then?" Kid asked rhetorically.

"Yeah," Buck answered. "I used to live in the bunkhouse with the boys when I first came back here. But when I got married, Lou insisted on giving me that piece of land, and I built myself a house."

"A married man," Kid echoed with a smile.

"Four years and counting," Buck added proudly. "And two boys. I have my hands full."

"I bet you have." They both laughed light-heartedly.

"And that house over there?" Kid asked.

"That's Lou's place."

"Oh," Kid felt like a fool for not guessing before.

"Now it's time for us to pay her a visit, shall we?"

"I guess," Kid muttered.

In that moment Kid saw a woman coming towards them. She was looking straight at him with a sweet expression on her face. When she finally reached them, she exclaimed, "Oh Kid, I'm so glad that you're alive."

"Ma'am," was the only thing he felt able to utter. He was feeling really uncomfortable and awkward under the woman's scrutinizing gaze.

"We thought you had died, you know," she continued.

"Mrs. McCloud, I know …," he began clumsily but she cut him off.

"I'm not Louise," she laughed. "I'm Rachel, Rachel Dunne."

"You thought you were married to her?" Buck joined in the mirth. "Not that lucky, my friend."

"Buck!" Rachel scolded him. By now she had gotten used to her boys' remarks concerning her looks. They had fooled around when she had first met them, especially Jimmy and Cody. She had had to put them in their place and from then on they had treated her with respect. However, they hadn't altogether dropped their wisecracks, but she knew that it was just wholesome fun. "Don't pay him any heed. I used to cook for all of you when this was a Pony Express station," she explained. "Did Buck show you around?"

Kid nodded, and then Rachel asked timidly. "Did anything ring a bell? This was your home a few years ago."

The former rider shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. We're just happy to have you with us safe and sound," Rachel repeated.

"Do you also live around here?" Kid dared to ask.

"Here at the ranch? Oh no, I live in town. I work in the hotel restaurant. I'm the cook there."

"By the way, Rachel," Buck said," what brings you here so early?"

"Oh, just covering Lou. Sent me a message," she answered, showing a piece of paper.

"Are you?" Buck asked. "What's she up to?"

"Dunno. She might be feeling a bit down, you know," Rachel muttered, glimpsing at Kid sideways.

In that moment a rider reached the property, which attracted Buck's attention. "Hey, Jamie," Buck called. "Nice way of shirking your responsibilities this morning."

Jamie was one of the ranch hands, the same age as Buck and the others had been when they had begun in the Express. He had been working for six months at the ranch, and Lou seemed to have a soft spot for him because Buck knew that the boy reminded her of Kid.

"I didn't do such a thing, sir," the boy explained. "I was running an errand for Miss Louise."

"Were you?" Buck asked skeptically.

Jamie nodded and added, "And she asked me to let you know that she's off to see Miss Theresa."

"She what?" Buck and Rachel exclaimed simultaneously.

"Are you sure, Jamie?" Buck insisted.

"Positive, sir. I just left her luggage in the stagecoach with instructions to be taken to Miss Theresa's place."

Buck thanked him and the boy went on his way, leaving the two former Pony Express riders and Rachel alone. When he was out of earshot, Buck exclaimed, "Crazy woman!"

"I can't believe she just left like that, without even telling us!" Rachel said very angrily. "How can she be so, so… so selfish? I have my own responsibilities. I can't take care of everything here, and attend to my work as well." She was boiling with fury and with her last words she just stormed away.

Kid was at a loss of what was going on and asked, "What's she raving about?"

"Well, apparently, Lou's left to see her sister in Kansas. I'm afraid you ain't going to see her today after all."

Kid smiled. Deep inside, he felt a great sensation of relief. He wasn't looking forward to meeting this woman who he had apparently married. He still hadn't come to terms with the idea. Anyway, now that she was away, he would have the time to get used to life on the ranch before having to face her.

* * *

The day had passed too quickly. Kid hadn't had the time to see everything around the ranch. There was so much he still had to learn. It was much bigger than he had first thought. Buck had really helped him to make first contact with this new world to him. He seemed a good man, and Kid had felt closer to him as the day had progressed. He had even dared to ask the question that had been tormenting him all day long. Now he remembered how the conversation had gone.

"Buck" Kid had begun as they had been resting and having a drink of fresh water. "What is she like?"

Buck had looked at him wonderingly, not understanding what Kid was getting at. "Who?"

"You know. _Her,_" he emphasized.

"Oh," Buck understood now what he meant, but he did not like the way Kid referred to his wife. "You know, she has name, it's Louise or Lou, whatever you prefer."

"All right, sorry," Kid apologized. "What is Louise like?"

"I don't know what to say, Kid. She's just … well … Lou," Buck answered.

"But you could sure tell me something more than that," Kid had insisted. "Is she pretty?"

Buck had smiled, and Kid had hurried to add. "I mean, what is she… Louise really like?"

Buck had kept thoughtful for an instant, and said, "Well, she is …"

"Yes?"

"Different."

"Different?" Kid had echoed baffled.

Buck had nodded.

"Different in what way?" Kid had asked again.

"I don't know in what way. She's just different from any woman I know. That's all I can tell you," Buck had said, irritated by Kid's questions.

Noticing Buck's irritation, Kid had tried to justify himself. "I just wanted to know why I married her."

"You married her because you were in love," Buck had answered seriously. "What other reason could anybody have to get married?"

"Dunno," Kid had fumbled for words. "Maybe I thought…"

"Let's go back to work," Buck had cut him off gravely.

And that's all he had been able to get from him. He guessed that he would have to wait to know about her. But now he didn't want to think more about his wife. Now it was his time with Alice. He smiled as he saw her enter the restaurant. He had missed her terribly today. It was not common for them to be apart, even for a few hours. They had been together for as long as he could remember, which was just a couple of years. Since the moment he had set eyes upon her, she had been by his side all the time. She had nursed him when he had been recovering from his wounds. She had been his support when his mind was just a foggy void. She had first been a friend, a true friend, and then later it had felt just natural for that friendship to turn into love. Kid couldn't feel any luckier.

He greeted her with a kiss and sat at the restaurant table next to her.

"How did the day go?" Alice was anxious to know.

"Better than I had imagined," Kid answered smilingly. "You should see the place, Alice. It's all and more than I have ever dreamed, and it's mine."

"I'm so glad, love". She paused and hesitated to ask the question that had nagged her all day. "Did you see her?"

Kid shook his head. "Nope, apparently she's away. Much better that way."

"Good. But let's hope she doesn't stay away long."

"Why's that?" Kid asked surprised.

"Well, David," his fiancée elaborated, "We need to sort out the divorce, and we can't settle the whole thing without her. I wired Pa today. This lawyer friend of his is going to go through all the red tape. A little signature, and in a few months you'll be a free man, free from your past."

Kid smiled. "I'm really sorry about all these complications. Your father can't be very pleased with me right now."

"Oh, honey, don't think about that. Pa understands. There's nothing that cannot be solved."

"I guess not," Kid conceded.

"So tell me everything about today," she queried.

"Oh everybody is great. But in a way it makes me feel a bit weird. They all act as if they know everything about me, as if they know more about me than I do myself. They are all very close, like a family."

"They? Who?"

"The marshal, Buck, a woman called Rachel, and I guess, her."

"Aren't they blood-related?

"No, apparently they … well … we all worked for the Pony Express. The marshal was the station master, this Rachel was the cook, and Buck and some others Buck keeps mentioning worked as riders. It seems all of them grew quite attached."

"What about her? She cooked too?"

"I don't know. I guess, but, well, I don't really care. I think everything is quite weird."

"Then don't worry any, honey. Just enjoy this delicious dinner and forget about all of them."

Kid smiled and looked down at the succulent meal before him. He just murmured, "Forget?" He snickered remembering that Rachel was the cook in that very restaurant. "Sure. It's easy to forget."

* * *

The day had finished for Rachel. After leaving the restaurant, she was making her way to her wagon. The town was deserted. Only one or two people were strolling around. It had been a long day, and she kept wondering how she would manage to do everything in the next days, or even weeks. She couldn't let Louise down. Her temper had cooled down a bit, and she realized she had overreacted when she had first heard that Lou had gone to Kansas. Louise must surely be feeling terrible, and maybe this break would do her good. Yes, this time away would help her to think things over and Rachel knew that Theresa had a way with her sister that nobody had. Yet, sooner or later Louise would have to come back and she would have to face the reality that was waiting at home.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice that somebody was following her. So when she felt a hand on her shoulder she jumped, startled.

"Teaspoon! You scared me!" Rachel said annoyed.

"Sorry, Rachel. I called out your name so many times that I thought I would wake the whole town before getting' your attention. Very thoughtful tonight, ain't ya?"

Rachel nodded and added, "I'm just worried, Teaspoon."

"I know. We all are."

"It's the first time she has fled from a problem. It's not typical of her, and you know it."

"She needs time. I ain't easy for her. She never lost the faith to see him again, and now she must feel kind of deceived."

"I know, Teaspoon. But I can't help worrying."

"She's a tough girl, Rachel."

"She's not as strong as she tries to make us think. I know," Rachel whispered.

"Everythin' will be fine, Rachel. I bet she'll be back in a couple of weeks, and we'll cope. She ain't alone."

"I guess," Rachel admitted with a sigh, and then the pair kept walking in deep, thoughtful silence.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Teaspoon had been wrong. Six months had gone by, and Louise was not back yet. Every day Rachel hoped and prayed Lou would find the way home, but there was still no sign of her. Rachel grew more and more worried. They had received several telegrams from Louise. She simply said she was fine, but nothing was hinted about when she planned to come back.

"Teaspoon, she can't stay away forever," Rachel had voiced her worries to the marshal.

"She'll come back."

"But when? Six months have gone. Six months!" Rachel blustered. "We need to go and bring her back."

"Rachel," Teaspoon tried to calm her down. "We ain't doin' such a thing. She'll come back when she feels ready. She ain't a child."

Rachel did not pursue the conversation any longer, but the worry did not leave her. She knew that the longer it took Louise to come back, the tougher it would be. She had to face her husband no matter how hard it would be. She couldn't leave her life on hold forever.

In all this time Kid had adapted to the life in Sweetwater and on the ranch. After the first difficult and awkward couple of weeks he now felt like at home. He had never been so happy before in his life. This was what he had always wanted. Work on the ranch was hard, but he wouldn't wish for anything else. As he had predicted, his relationship with Buck had grown better with each passing day, and he also got on well with the other ranch hands. There was a sort of camaraderie among all of them, and he loved to be part of all this.

Apparently, according to Buck, Louise had tried to bring back the familiar atmosphere that they had enjoyed during their Pony Express days. Louise. Louise. Kid cringed at the sound of her name. There was not a single day that her name didn't come out for one reason or another. Despite her absence, Kid had the weird sensation that he could feel her presence everywhere on the ranch, like a ghost whose shadow hovered over everything and everybody. That was the only thing that stopped him from feeling completely at ease. He still hadn't come to terms with the fact that she did exist, that he did have a wife no matter how incredible it sounded to his own ears, and he wondered how things would be the day she decided to make her appearance.

Alice had also given him a hard time lately with the question of the divorce. Her frustration was understandable. He also wanted to marry her but they couldn't do anything till they got the desired divorce. Alice was running out of patience, and he still remembered one of her last tantrums.

"I bet she's doing it on purpose," she had bellowed.

"Doing what, Alice?" Kid asked good-naturedly.

"Keeping away, she just doesn't want to grant you the divorce."

"We don't know that, honey. We can't draw rash conclusions. She might not even know that I want a divorce."

"Rubbish. I'm sure she's purposely avoiding the whole thing."

"Everybody says that she will come back… eventually."

"But when? In a year? Two? Three years? We can't wait that long, David," Alice whined childishly.

"It won't be that long, honey. You'll see"

"How do you know?"

"Well, I don't. But Buck says that she won't be away much longer."

"Don't be so naïve, David. They're all on her side. Don't let them trick you."

"That's not fair, honey." Kid was getting exasperated. "There are no sides here. We just have to be a bit patient."

"Can't they send word to her?" Alice had insisted.

"I already told you they won't. They won't hear of it." He sighed, almost running out of patience. Then he came closer to her and brushed his hand across her face. "Come on, Alice. We're together, that's what's important, ain't it? We have a bright future ahead of us. And …," He paused and whispered, "I love you."

She smiled in spite of her previous angered fit. "I love you too, silly." She had put her arms around his neck and they had kissed.

Luckily that had been the end of that awkward conversation. Kid understood Alice's position, but he couldn't do anything about it. He also felt frustrated at times, and he hoped she could be a bit more patient, but he feared that the subject would come out again before long.

Today, though, he wouldn't let his worries ruin the day. It was Founders' Day and there was a picnic that the town had organized. Since his arrival he hadn't had much time to relax and enjoy himself as he had been too busy getting the hang of everything around the ranch. That was why he wanted to make the most of this day. It would be the perfect occasion to forget his worries.

All the men working on the ranch had decided to go together as the women had gone earlier to give a hand in the preparation of the event. Alice had also joined the ladies, and Kid hoped that the occasion would bring her closer to Rachel and April, Buck's wife. She had a strong defensive posture towards his new friends, and Kid expected that the picnic would make her see that she was just being silly. He knew that she wasn't adapting to the town as well as he was. She had made friends with some of the local ladies, but Kid was aware that she missed her home, her father and her friends. Today's picnic would be a good opportunity for he to feel relaxed and happy among the people who had been so kind and helpful to him.

Kid had decided to join the boys, Buck and Teaspoon to go together to the local festivities. It was strange that in such a short time he felt so laid-back among them. He was waiting for his workers to get ready. They were all making a fuss about the whole thing, bantering all week about who would dance with most girls.

"Come on, Jamie. You can't be serious. You can't stay behind on this beautiful day," Frank, one of the men, was saying.

Jamie was adamant in his decision since he did not feel in very high spirits lately. His girl had broken up with him a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, she had fallen for another fella, and left Jamie completely heart-broken. He had courted Laura for eight months, and he seemed unable to get over her deception. He couldn't face her yet, much less in company with the other chap, frolicking about, gay and contented.

"I can't go, Frank. Honestly."

"Oh come on. You know that none of us have a steady girl. We're likely to be stuck in each other's company for the whole day," he snickered.

"It ain't that. I just can't face her."

They all understood their friend's situation and dropped the matter. Jamie hadn't been the same since Laura had left him. They couldn't force him to do something he wasn't prepared to. They didn't say a word because there was nothing they could say. They filed out of the bunkhouse, mounted their horses and left the ranch.

* * *

A lone rider came into sight. Tired and dirty the rider steered the horse to a light canter. Soon they would reach their destination after days of constant riding. The sun was shining brightly in the sky, and only a light breeze was blowing. There wasn't a soul around when both rider and horse made their way to the property. The usual sounds of relentless activity were missing. Only the horses were grazing placidly in the corrals nearby. Their neighing was the only sound that broke the still morning. The rider dismounted, tethered the horse to a post, and plodded towards the bunkhouse. The door opened slowly, and the light snores of somebody napping welcomed the rider.

"Where's everybody?"

The loud and sudden words woke Jamie unexpectedly making him bang his head against the bunk above. He couldn't tell if he was more surprised by the sudden awakening, or by the person talking to him.

"Miss Louise!" he exclaimed.

"In the flesh," Lou said, trying to muffle her amusement. "Where's everybody?" she repeated.

"At the picnic, today's Founders' Day." Jamie answered with a hoarse voice.

"Oh, I see." Louise said indifferently, as she sat at the table in the middle of the room and poured herself a glass of water. "How come you ain't with them instead of sleeping like a log?"

"Well," the boy fumbled for words. "I didn't feel like it."

"Are you sick?" Louise asked amused. She knew that Jamie was the first to join any occasion of entertainment.

"Uh… it ain't that," Jamie stammered. "Laura left me … uh … she fell in love with somebody else and it hurts too much. I just can't see her, and I…"

"That's outrageous!" Lou exclaimed, cutting him off.

"Well … uh … these things happen all the time. I guess. I will get over her…eventually."

Lou shook her head. "No, what I find outrageous is you staying behind," she stated gravely. "She dumps you, and what do you do? Lock yourself away and cry yourself to sleep? Nice way to show her!"

"That's not …" he tried to justify, but she wouldn't let him.

"Right now you are going to get dressed, head for that picnic, and strut before her with a nice girl. Let her know that you don't care… that you've moved on too." She was angry, and would not let anybody make one of her boys look like a fool.

"It's too late now, Miss Louise. I don't know any girls and …"

"And what am I? A leprechaun? You and me are going to that stupid picnic, and show her you can have fun too."

"You and me?" He asked surprised.

"Yeah," she said and Jamie's expression stopped her. "Not that kind of fun, silly boy." She punched his arm and let out a sigh. "We'll not let her make a fool of you. Now get dressed, and have the wagon ready in half an hour."

Jamie couldn't even say a word of refusal as she was gone in no time. He didn't feel like going at all. He had been sleeping so happily and peacefully, and now he had to comply with Miss Louise's orders. It was an honor to go with her. She was a beautiful lady, and he would be the envy of the town. Yet, what he really wanted was to be alone and forget about Laura. Why couldn't Miss Louise leave the matter be? He didn't care what Laura thought, or if he was making a fool of himself. However, Miss Louise wouldn't hear of doing that. Women are sometimes really weird, Jamie thought with a bitter scowl on his face.

Half an hour later Jamie was neatly dressed in his Sunday suit and had hitched the horses to the best buckboard on the ranch. Louise appeared in no time, looking much more different to what she had thirty minutes before. She had discarded her old dusty trousers and her manly jacket, and had donned a beautiful white organdy dress. Her hair was hanging loose in long tresses. She came towards Jamie who helped her get on the wagon.

"You look beautiful, Miss Louise," the boy said admiringly.

"Save your words, boy," she disregarded his words, but smiled in spite of herself. "One thing, I'll let you dump me as soon as you get yourself set up with a nice girl."

Jamie exclaimed shocked "I couldn't do that, Miss Louise, after all you…"

"Oh please," Louise cut him off. "I'm just doing you a favor. I'm exhausted, and all I want is to sleep. So please do dump me as soon as possible."

Jamie laughed amused, and then he said in a grave tone, his eyes staring at hers. "You know, _he_ will be there … with her."

"So?" she replied. No hesitation in her voice. Of course she knew he would be there. She had had time to think things over these last few months. She still had difficulties to accept the turn her life had taken, but she needed to face all her fears. She couldn't flee any longer.

"Nothing," Jamie said and urged the horses forward.

* * *

There were lots of people on the land next to the lake where the picnic was taking place. People were scattered at tables that had been set up for the occasion. It was a good opportunity for the neighbors of Sweetwater to socialize and forget their grudges with each other. People seemed contented, and many were chattering away in groups. Some couples were dancing to the sound of the music, others were just listening to the band, and some more were just helping themselves from the delicious dishes laid out on the tables.

Jamie and Louise left the wagon and made their way timidly to where all the bustle was. Louise had lost all the confidence she had previously felt and now she was beginning to be afraid. But she wouldn't let fear daunt her. She tugged Jamie's arm and said, "Let's eat something. I'm starving."

Kid couldn't believe what he was seeing. He was on his way to get a drink for Alice when he saw Jamie in very good company. They had begged him to tag along, and the boy had tricked them into thinking that he was feeling low. And all the time what really was on the boy's mind was to come alone with a girl. The little rascal had come up with a way of getting out of being stuck with all of them. Kid couldn't blame him if he wanted to be on his own with that lovely woman. Kid knew that the other men wouldn't let him alone with their banter and teasing.

Kid approached the boy, who seemed engrossed in a conversation with his companion. They didn't see him come closer, so he had to clear his throat to catch their attention. Both of them turned two surprised faces towards him. Kid kept smiling and said teasingly, "Jamie, I see you've finally made it."

The boy gulped audibly, feeling in a very awkward situation. He just managed to say, "Sir, I …"

Kid was amused by the boy's seemingly embarrassment at being caught red-handed. The Southerner looked at the girl, and smiled at her. Yet, she kept staring at him with a serious, almost bitter face. He had to admit that she was beautiful, and wondered where Jamie had met her. Certainly she wasn't one of the local girls. He had never seen her before and he already knew most of the people from Sweetwater.

"Ain't you gonna introduce us?" Kid asked, but Jamie couldn't even move a muscle. So Kid stretched his arm and addressed the woman. "My name's David Kelly. It's a real pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ma'am."

Louise kept glaring at him. She felt annoyed at his light-hearted mood when she had felt so embittered all those years of his absence. She glared at him, and punching his hand out of her way she just said, "You've already met me." She turned her back to him, and began walking away towards the refreshment tables which were at the other end. At one point she turned her head and called: "Come on, Jamie" and the boy ran after her.

Kid stayed in the same spot wonderingly, and then he slowly made their way back to where the others were gathered round a table in a little clearing on the top of a little hillock. The incident with Jamie and that girl had left him with an uneasy sensation.

"Where's my drink?" Alice asked light-hearted when he reached the group.

Kid slapped his forehead annoyed for having forgotten Alice's drink. "Oh honey. I forgot," Kid said, realizing for the first time that the whole incident had completely distracted him.

Everybody laughed and Teaspoon asked teasingly, "What's happened that kept you so forgetful?"

"As a matter of fact, I've seen Jamie. He's down there with a girl."

"Jamie?" everybody exclaimed, and the boys stood up to see if they could catch sight of their mate.

"He gave us the slip, the little rascal," Buck said, laughing at the same time.

"Seems so," Kid agreed. "Mind you, I can't blame him. That girl he's with sure is beautiful."

Alice looked at him annoyed, and Kid hurried to reassure her. "Honey, nothing wrong to say she's pretty. But I must say, she is the rudest girl I've ever come across. I politely tried to introduce myself, and she just ignored me. 'You've already met me' she just said." Kid tried to mimic her mockingly.

Rachel had not been paying attention to the conversation. This picnic was becoming a torture and she wasn't having much fun. She had been stuck with Kid's fiancée since the morning. The girl seemed too eager to please her and April. Alice was quite agreeable and seemed nice, but in a way, the former station mistress felt she was betraying Lou if she got close to Kid's fiancée. Rachel couldn't make friends with this woman however much it would mean to Kid. She wouldn't stay at the picnic much longer. After having lunch and staying the appropriate time she would make up some excuse and go home.

Rachel was tasting a piece of cake when Kid's words dawned on her. She dropped the fork, stood up and scampered off to everybody's surprise, running like a madwoman.

"Rachel!" Teaspoon called after her. "Rachel!"

She turned round half-way and said at the top of her voice cheerfully: "She's back, Teaspoon. She's back!" She giggled and continued briskly downhill.

Kid followed her with his eyes and watched Rachel hugging the girl who he had seen barely minutes ago. He felt Buck patting him on the shoulder saying, "Seems like the Prodigal son… rather, daughter has finally come home."

Kid turned his eyes towards him now fully understanding the meaning of his words. Finally she was back. That was what Rachel had meant too. He had made a fool of himself before her, before Louise. It wasn't the best way to start, to blunder like that. He had mentally rehearsed the moment he came face to face with her, of course, unbeknownst to Alice. He didn't want her to think he attached any importance to her. _Oh God, Alice!_ The thought struck him like a flash. He turned his attention to her and his eyes met her glaring, furious ones.

* * *

The two women walked in silence, passed by the numerous people enjoying their day out with their families and came to a lonely spot. Rachel sat on a rock and Louise stood up staring at the lake spreading before her eyes. It was a sunny and clear day, and both women stood in silence basking in the delightful warmth of the sun. After a few minutes Rachel said, "Are you all right, Louise?"

Lou, who had her back to Rachel, turned around to face her and just nodded.

"Have you made your peace?" Rachel asked again.

The girl sighed and replied, "I guess so."

"Good." Rachel simply said and sank into silence again.

Louise approached and knelt before her so that they were both at the same height.

"I needed to go away. I just couldn't … couldn't face him."

"I know"

"And I've come to realize that … well… I needed to see things in a new light." She stopped for a second and continued unsteadily. "As much as it hurts me, Rachel, I needed to accept that Kid died on me the day he left. That …that man may look, talk or behave like my husband, but he's not Kid."

"Well, it's a way to look at it."

"It's the only way, Rachel. Kid died on me and, well, I needed some time to mourn him, to mourn my husband."

"And have you?"

Louise nodded and felt tears welling up in her eyes. Rachel leaned over and threw her arms round the girl rocking her in a motherly fashion.

"We thought you'd left us for good," Teaspoon's voice resounded in her ears.

Louise looked up, dried her remaining tears with the back of her hand and smiled broadly when she saw Teaspoon, Buck and his wife, April.

"Oh, I wouldn't leave you ever for anything. I just needed a little time," Louise said and came to hug all of them one by one.

"We know," that's all the marshal said.

"Anyway, I came back earlier than I had planned," she explained while her face showed her annoyance.

"How's that?" Buck asked.

"My little sister," Louise answered in an affected voice, "is in love and wants to get married."

"Really?" Rachel exclaimed cheerfully.

"Crazy, ain't she?" Louise continued. "I told her she's far too young but she got that idea into her head and you know how stubborn she is."

"I recall you weren't much older when you stood before me in your weddin' dress," Teaspoon added.

Louise sighed and said gravely, "Not a very good comparison, don't you think?"

"Who's the lucky fella?" April asked, trying to turn Louise's attention to a different direction.

"Yes, tell us about him," Rachel added, looking daggers at Teaspoon for bringing up Lou's wedding day.

"Just a boy she met. Apparently his parents are quite well off, army people. They are coming to meet us in a couple of weeks. Can you imagine me with those stuck-up people?" She laughed and the rest joined in. Louise paused and said, "I'm really glad to be back home. I missed you all so"

"Welcome home, honey." Teaspoon replied with a broad smile.

* * *

"I have never felt so humiliated in all my life," Alice sniffed.

When they had been left alone, the girl had scampered away angrily and Kid had to run after her. Finally she had stopped and Kid had been able to catch up with her. Since then she had refused to even look at him although the Southerner had tried in all ways possible to apologize. However, she just kept crying her eyes out. Finally she seemed she was going to speak to him.

"Alice, I'm sorry …"

The girl turned around abruptly and shouted at him angrily. "You publicly humiliated me in front of them all saying how beautiful you thought she was!"

"It was just a comment. It didn't mean anything and … I didn't know it was her!"

"So what? Now everybody will laugh at me!"

"Please Alice. Who cares what anybody thinks?"

"I do," she stated loudly.

"This is crazy." Kid cried. "We shouldn't be arguing in the first place. You know how I feel about you. There's nobody else and there won't be." He came closer to her and took her by the arms.

"I don't like this. She's just turned up and makes us fight. I … hate her," she pronounced the words bitterly.

"Look, Alice. I don't care about her. I just care about you." He smiled broadly and talked to her sweetly. "Now I'll be able to get my freedom. Ain't this what we wanted? Everything's going to be all right"

For the first time Alice dared to smile and asked, fear in her voice: "You think so?"

Kid reciprocated her smile and took her in a warm embrace. "Everything's gonna be just fine. It has to be."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It had not been easy for Kid to forget about the events during the picnic. The argument with Alice had left him uneasy. He just wished she could understand that he did not have any interest in Louise McCloud at all. Alice was his whole life and nothing or nobody else mattered. He had really felt stupid after making those comments about that woman. He knew that, even though Buck, Teaspoon and the others never mentioned the matter openly, deep inside they wished he could end up with her. No wonder Alice had gotten so upset. Women had a sense for these things and she hadn't liked it when he had mistakenly and stupidly praised Louise before all of them.

Fortunately, he had been able to appease Alice. He would not let something like that happen again. He would not put his relationship with her at risk for anything. He didn't like to argue with her and he would hate himself if he lost her because of his clumsiness. What he had to do was to focus on the important things. He had to find the way to cope with the fact that he had to see Louise every day without letting her interfere in his life.

A brand new day presented itself and Kid would do his best to follow his plans. He made his way to the stables where he found Buck who was getting his mount ready.

"Is it today we have to take those horses to Old Peterson's?" Kid asked after greeting his friend good morning.

"Sure is."

Kid grimaced at the prospect of dealing with the man. Besides, even though the place was not too far, it wouldn't be an easy task to keep ten horses in line. That Old Peterson was a fussy buyer. He had been to the ranch and after a very meticulous inspection he hadn't still been satisfied. He had asked to see the horses on his own property and they had evidently accepted his peculiar request. Sales had gone down lately and they were in real need for fresh money.

"You can stay behind if you like," Buck said, noticing his friend's displeasure.

"You can't go alone," Kid protested.

"I won't," Buck replied.

As Kid was about to retort, the sound of "Morning" reached their ears. They turned to the voice and Kid cursed himself inwardly as a very smiling Louise came towards them. She looked quite different from the day before. She was wearing her long hair in a neat plait and Kid noticed that she was wearing too masculine clothes for a woman. She had donned a pair of breeches and her figure looked gawky because of the too big jacket she had on.

"Hi Buck," she greeted heartily.

"Hi stranger," her friend replied with a smile.

Kid was feeling a bit awkward in her presence and tried to greet her politely. "Mrs. McCloud," he nodded in greeting.

She turned around surprised as if she had not been aware of his presence till this moment. She looked him up and down and said without any of the previous enthusiasm. "Oh hi."

Fortunately for Kid, Buck began talking, which saved him from the embarrassment of the situation.

"So are you staying or coming?" Buck asked him.

"I've told you I'm coming," Kid insisted.

"Great. Ready, Lou?" Buck addressed Louise.

"Sure," Louise responded, checking the straps of her saddle.

"Is she coming?" the words were out of his mouth before Kid could do anything to stop himself.

Lou came to stand before him and looking straight in his eyes, her hands resting on her hips in a daring pose. "Got a problem with that?" she asked gravely.

Kid wanted to bite his tongue at his clumsiness but just kept quiet and shook his head seriously. Lou made a disapproving gesture and as she was turning her attention back to her horse, she heard some words being whispered behind her.

"Excuse me?" she addressed Kid once more, this time in a sharper way.

Noticing her cocky attitude Kid felt challenged to face her, even though he hadn't meant to say the words aloud. "I said that no lady would engage herself in men's work, Mrs. McCloud."

His words ignited her anger and Louise just blustered, "I'm no lady. I can't afford to be one." She paused for a second and added, "So you can drop the "Mrs". I'm just Louise around here." She turned away and busied herself fitting the cinch on her horse. "Are we to loiter here all day or can we get some work done?" she barked, never turning her head to them.

An annoyed Buck came closer to Kid, who seemed rooted to the spot and whispered to him, "Well done, my friend. You got her mad and we'll have to put up with her all day."

"I heard you, Buck," she roared, giving him a cold stare.

Buck kept silent and passed her on his way out of the stables. Just as he was at the door, he turned round and said sarcastically: "You can't imagine how much we've missed you, Lou" and then he was gone.

* * *

Buck had been right. The ride to Old Peterson's place hadn't been easy at all. Everything had seemed to go to pieces. The horses had been a handful to control today. More than once Kid had had to run after one of them that had broken loose. The ride itself had been a nightmare. It had been pouring rain all the time and even his own horse had dropped him to the ground once.

On top of everything, they had had to bear Louise's anger towards them. She had been snarling orders to them whenever something had gone wrong. Kid had been livid and had had to bite his tongue so as not to get carried away and talk his mind. Buck hadn't seemed to mind her attitude, but Kid was boiling with rage. He had to acknowledge, though, that she was a talented rider. He had initially thought that she would slow them down but on the contrary, she had kept up with them as the most capable rider. She had even been able to control the extra horses better than him or Buck.

Kid had never met a woman that could ride so expertly. Yet, she had been obnoxious all the way to Old Peterson's ranch. When they had reached the place, her attitude had changed completely all of the sudden. She had been all smiles and charm. Old Peterson had been delighted with all her attention and chat. Surprisingly, the grumpy old man had bought the whole batch of horses without any further complaints and had even hinted that he might need more in the following weeks. At least something had turned out better than they had expected, Kid thought. But after leaving the place, Louise had reverted to her previous mood. She had barely said a word on their return ride and when she had spoken up, it had been to urge them to speed up in an unkind tone.

Fortunately, they were now back at the ranch and Kid was thankful for that. Lou had disappeared into her house as soon as she had gotten off her horse.

"Where did she learn to ride?" Kid asked out of the blue as they were seeing to the horses in the stables.

Buck looked at him and just said, "I really don't know."

"She rides like no woman I know," Kid said thoughtfully. He was really impressed by the way she rode. She was a natural with the horse. . He had never known any woman who could ride so expertly. Alice was quite apprehensive about coming near horses. She couldn't ride at all.

"I know," Buck added. "No wonder she was one of the best riders the Pony Express ever had."

Kid looked at him with a puzzled expression and chuckled. "A rider? You're kidding, ain't you?"

Buck shook his head. "I'm serious. She was one of the best. She used to dress up like a man and fooled everybody into thinking she was just another boy… well, at least for a time."

Kid couldn't be more surprised. "And Teaspoon let her?"

"I don't see why not. She was good, reliable and, as he always says, part of the family."

Kid couldn't believe what Buck was telling him. He had never met or heard of any woman like her. For all he knew, women's concerns basically focused on their families, children and husbands. He had never actually heard of any woman whose life was more than that, and he firmly believed that was the way things had to be. It was not right for a woman to be on par with men. He liked women to be feminine and delicate. He was shocked that he had ever married someone like her who acted in such a masculine way. Surely he couldn't have been thinking rightly.

* * *

Kid approached the house tentatively. It was the end of the day and he had not seen Louise since lunch. Seemingly, her anger had eased down and she had been in a much better mood at lunch time. He had been joking with the rest of the workmen and Buck in a jovial way. They had been mocking her about her cooking abilities and how much they would miss Rachel's cuisine. Louise had pretended to feel offended and they had all had a good laugh. Everybody but him. Her presence made him feel like a stranger. She never addressed him or acknowledged his presence, not once. It was very awkward for him, and it would be unbearable if that was the situation he would have to live every day.

Kid was already in front of the door and hesitated to knock. This was something that he was looking forward to doing, but in a way he felt wary. He breathed in, mustered some courage and knocked at the door firmly. He heard a "Come in" and he opened the door cautiously. Letting himself in, he saw Louise at the end of the room among heaps of letters and other documents. She never lifted her head, so he had to clear his throat to catch her attention. As she finally met his eyes, he could say that she was surprised to see him before her. Kid felt rooted on the spot, unable to move a muscle and she kept staring at him quizzically without saying a word.

Finally, Kid dared to speak up and came close to her. "I need you to sign these papers," he said, handing the documents to her. She looked down at them silently and he added. "It's a divorce petition."

She looked up at him seriously and proceeded to stamp her signature on the papers without further delay, uttering not a single word.

"Ain't you gonna read them?" Kid asked but she never acknowledged the question and after finishing signing them, she stretched her hand and returned the papers to him. Still not one word said.

"Thank you," Kid said with a smile, and she just nodded gravely. He paused a moment uncertain whether to leave, but after a second thought he fumbled for the words he wanted to say. "I honestly hope we can get on well, Louise. I really hope so." He tried to smile, but Louise kept a long face and never said one word. Kid's smile faded at her attitude and turned around to leave. He was fuming on his way to the door. He didn't deserve that kind of treatment from anybody and not from her. He had tried to be kind to her, expressing his good will. Who did she think she was? He wasn't going to let her treat him as if he were a nobody. In a flash he turned around to her once more before he could stop himself. "I'm sick of your attitude towards me," he bellowed. "Whether you like it or not, I'm as much part of this place as you are."

She glared across the room at him, clearly annoyed. "Excuse me?" She rose from her seat and paused a second before continuing. "Let's get this clear. My husband was a most excellent person. You and he are nothing alike. You may occupy his place but as far as I'm concerned, you're nothing but an intruder. And now I bid you good night, sir."

Kid was about to retort but she cut him off harshly. "Good night." She returned to her table and her gaze turned to the pile of papers. Kid was forced to leave without further ado, boiling with rage. He slammed the door shut and it was then that Louise dared to look up towards the door. Her eyes misted over and she felt her lips tremble. "Oh Kid!" Louise moaned. She violently flung all the papers to the floor with one swipe and buried her head in the crook of her arm stretched across the table as sobs racked her body.

* * *

"I can't stand her," Kid was complaining loudly to Alice later. "She's rude, arrogant, and insensitive. She called me an intruder. Did I tell you that?"

"Five times already," Alice replied, trying to hide her amusement. Kid had been grumbling all evening. In a way she felt quite relieved to see him in that foul mood. She had been a bit concerned all day that he could feel something for that woman. After all, they had been married. However, his worries were put to ease as things had turned out better than she had expected. "You have to calm down, David. It really doesn't matter what she says."

"She made me feel like a fool."

"I know." Alice answered patiently and then added, "Did she sign the petition?"

Kid nodded.

"You see? That's all that matters," she said, beaming and Kid reluctantly smiled back. "Forget about that damned woman. These documents are the key to our happiness. Now we'll be able to get married in a few months."

"Yes!" he exclaimed and took her in his arms. He kissed her and, letting himself get carried away, he deepened his kiss. She pulled away breathlessly and said. "David, honey, we decided to wait till our wedding night, and it won't be long now." She pushed him towards the door and added. "We'd better keep away from temptation." Kid was about to protest when he heard her say "good-night" and the door closing behind.

He walked sulkily to the loneliness of his room and as he was about to close the door, a thought struck him. "Two women send me packing on the same day. I sure am not a lady's man." And he let himself in.

* * *

**I won't be able to post any more chapters till Thursday. I'm going away, so I won't be able to have access to the Internet. Thanks for your encouragement and reading this story. I know there are very big flaws here. It was fun to write, but after these years, I have to admit that if I had to re-write it I would change many, many things. Thanks again for reading it. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Louise dragged herself out of the bed. She had had a night plagued by nightmares and had not been able to rest properly. She would have liked to sleep in for the rest of the day, even for the rest of her life. But no, she had to get up. She had so much to do.

After her absence from the ranch she needed to catch up with all the bills and letters that had piled up in those months. Since Kid had left for the war, she had taken care of all the boring paperwork. She had been doing it for years. A sigh escaped her lips; she was not looking forward to seeing to that big pile of letters that lay neatly on her desk. But there was another reason why she needed to get up: Him. She had to show him that she was the one who ran things around here. Who on earth did he think he was? He was nothing around here.

She had been so furious the day before when he had pretended to be interested in her friendship after making her sign the divorce papers. What a nerve! She wasn't interested in him or anything regarding him at all. She had let him know her thoughts clearly – maybe a bit too clearly. But she couldn't feign as everybody seemed able to. She didn't want this bad version of her Kid. He wasn't the husband she had lost. She missed him so much. She missed his smile, his eyes, his kisses, his little ways. She just missed everything. She had told Rachel that she was now in peace with herself, but she still felt she hadn't overcome her grief. She couldn't come to terms with the fact that she had lost her husband on the way.

Louise got dressed quickly, trying not to think about the matter any longer. She didn't want to upset herself any further she would hate it if somebody caught a glimpse of how she really felt. She had to show them that she was fine, that she was strong like always.

Once in the kitchen she began brewing some coffee. She really needed to wake up and a cup of steaming and strong coffee would do just that. As she was waiting for the beverage to boil, she happened to have a peek through the kitchen window. Her eyes widened in surprise. It had been so long when she had last seen them. She dashed outside and ran towards the two figures who were talking to Teaspoon.

"Cody! Jimmy!" she called up as she came closer to them. "What are you doing here?"

"Some welcome we get round here!" Cody exclaimed. "We've been riding for two days to see some so-called friends and look …"

"Oh shut up, Cody!" Lou cut him off. "You make my head ache!" She paused a minute, regretting her attitude. "Sorry. I'm really glad to see you, boys."

"Ain't it nice, Lou?" Teaspoon said. "I got the surprise of my life this morning, when I saw these two enterin' my office."

"Sure, Teaspoon," Lou replied ironically. "I'm sure you had nothing to do with any of this."

"How are you, Lou?" Jimmy, who had been silent, asked her.

"I'm fine, real fine. Things couldn't be greater," she said in a confident tone.

"Really? That's not what I've heard."

Jimmy's remark sparked her swinging mood. "Listen. If you've just come here to poke your noses into my affairs, you'd better ride away."

"Hey!" Teaspoon tried to calm tempers out and turned to the two men. "Why don't you two go to the bunkhouse? Have some rest and some food."

Jimmy did not say a word as he and Cody did as their old boss said. Teaspoon stayed alone with Lou. He passed his arm over the girl's shoulders. "What's eatin' ya, Louise? You seem to blow up quicker than dynamite."

"I'm sorry, Teaspoon. It's just that … I don't know."

"I understand," the marshal said. He kept quiet for a moment and then he added. "I've had this idea. With Jimmy and Cody here, we can all have a very nice dinner together. It might help Kid bring back some of his memories."

Louise looked doubtful to the marshal. "I don't know, Teaspoon. I don't think it's a good idea."

"Come on, Lou. Don't be so defeatist. It will be almost like old times. After all, Jimmy was Kid's best friend."

The girl shook her head. "You're wrong, Teaspoon. Jimmy wasn't Kid's best friend." She paused and added, "_I_ was." And she dashed towards her house before Teaspoon could see the tears forming in her eyes.

* * *

She couldn't have been more right. She had known that Teaspoon's great idea wouldn't turn out as he had hoped. They all had been talking about old times and pestering their amnesic friend about thousands of stories. Kid clearly didn't remember a single thing, and she couldn't blame him for feeling uncomfortable. In spite of her anger towards him she pitied him at this moment. She wasn't feeling at ease herself. She hadn't opened her mouth once. All the talking was mainly hogged by Cody and Jimmy. She was tired of listening to their relentless voices and was feeling the beginning of a headache.

"Remember when Teaspoon bought that thing with a big wheel and a midget one." Jimmy said, guffawing raucously. "I was the only one who managed to break it. Lou's feet didn't even reach the stirrups and pitched into all the chickens." Everybody laughed. Everybody except Lou. Jimmy addressed his question to Kid. "You remember that, don't ya?"

"Of course he doesn't remember." Lou spoke up before Kid had time to open his mouth. "He wasn't even there."

"Hell, I don't remember that either," Cody remarked. The anecdote Jimmy was telling had happened when Kid and Cody had been on a run together. Kid had got into trouble when after Cody's insistence they had stopped by a town called Prosperity, and Kid had then been jailed. Louise remembered everything about Kid so clearly but she didn't care to elaborate for Cody's sake. She rose to her feet, picking up her half-eaten plate and the cutlery.

"Where are you going?" Jimmy asked.

"To bed. I'm tired," she said curtly.

"You can't. We've barely begun. You haven't even eaten two spoonfuls," Cody added, visibly annoyed.

"I ain't hungry." Lou mumbled as she was making her way out of the room.

"You can't leave like that. It's a very rude thing to do." Cody exclaimed, very irritated.

Louise turned towards him and mockingly feigned shock. "Really? Shame on me!" She laughed ruefully and kept going.

"We're leaving tomorrow," Jimmy shouted after her as she was already climbing the stairs.

"Good riddance then," she shouted back without even turning to them. She kept going up towards her bedroom. She could hear Cody's angry voice. "When are you going to grow up?" But she didn't care to answer back. She just couldn't stay there any longer. It was unbearable to keep looking at their cheerful faces telling all those memories so precious to her. She didn't want to fall to pieces in front of all of them, especially in front of him. She didn't want them to know how much she was hurting.

Over and over again she had repeated the same word to herself. She had to get over him, and accept that the man sitting in her dining room right now wasn't the same man she had shared so many moments with. However, she felt she was just trying to deceive herself. She was so angry with everybody, angry for them meddling in her affairs and angry that they were making her feel this way.

Down in the dining room the "remember-when's" had stopped after Lou's sudden departure.

"She's a real wet blanket." Cody was protesting. "She's always been."

"Come on, Cody. That ain't true," Rachel said, defending her friend.

"It is. Whenever we are having fun, she always pulls a long face. Like the time she stood us up when we got a share in the gold mine of that old man friend of Teaspoon's."

"That was a hoax, Cody. She was the one that acted sensibly." Teaspoon said.

"Whatever. Or when Kid's brother took us to the saloon, she just didn't stop moaning." Cody insisted.

"The saloon?" Rachel exclaimed. "Not a very appropriate place for a girl, don't you think?"

"I'm just saying that she's a real pain sometimes," Cody went on.

"Well, Cody, she wasn't a pain when she took good care of us that time we were sick and everybody thought it was cholera."

"I guess not," Cody admitted reluctantly.

"Or all the times she did all your chores and …"

Cody did not let her finish. "All right, all right. I ain't saying anything against her." He paused and then added. "We all love her."

"That's nice, Cody," Rachel added with a smile.

"But I'm still mad at her," he insisted.

"Well, she hasn't been herself lately. I guess she's just upset." Buck, who had barely spoken in all the night, reminded them.

Jimmy, who had kept quiet in all this exchange, rose from his seat and said seriously. "If you ask me, she hasn't been herself for the last six years." He glared at his old friend threateningly. Kid did not quiver and glared back at him in challenge. Neither of them said a word, the room was in complete silence. Everybody else was afraid that the evening would end up with a fight between the two friends, but then Jimmy turned around and left the room.

* * *

A knock at the door cut Lou's train of thought. She had let her thoughts run berserk once again. Anger boiled within her so fiercely that she could hardly refrain herself. She had felt furious with Cody and Jimmy for making her remember so many painful moments. She was angry with Kid for not remembering them and angry with the rest for just enjoying the evening regardless of her feelings. It was true she had behaved unfairly but she couldn't help it. She was beside herself with rage.

She continued brushing her long hair before her dresser and called up, "Come in!"

The door to her bedroom opened and Jimmy appeared nervously. "Hi," he voiced.

She huffed irritably and kept brushing her hair with big strokes.

"Anything wrong, Lou?" Jimmy asked.

"I already told you. Everything's fine," she answered in the same angered tone.

"Then what just happened down there?"

"I was just fed up with all the nonsense you were babbling about."

He stared at her for a few moments, then shook his head in annoyance. "It is because of him, ain't it?"

Louise did not say one word and or spare a single look at him. She just kept brushing her hair.

"When are you going to see the light?" Jimmy said angrily. "I'm sick of your denying the truth. You have no husband any more."

"I do know what I have, Jimmy. You don't have to come and give me lessons about my own family," Louise said coldly.

"Do you?" Jimmy asked doubtful. Louise turned her eyes towards his and stared at him firmly. He stared back at her and said, "Then why don't you ditch everything and elope with me?"

Lou stared at him with utter disbelief. Then she began pealing with laughter as Jimmy kept a very grim stance.

"I'm serious, Lou."

Lou stopped laughing and looked at Jimmy intently. "I am too, Jimmy." She paused for an instant and, watching her friend's grim expression, she whispered, "I'm sorry."

Jimmy smiled bitterly and retraced his steps towards the door. "Hard thing to compete with a ghost."

He opened the door but stopped as Lou called out his name. "Ride safe tomorrow, will you?" she said.

Jimmy nodded with a serious countenance, approached her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "And you take good care of yourself."

Louise smiled at his sweet gesture. Her initial anger had burned out and instead she now felt very sad and lonely. She wasn't a fool and she had been aware of Jimmy's feelings for a while. She knew that he had always tried to hide them but Jimmy was crystal clear to her. She wanted to tell him so many things. Nothing could happen between them. It wouldn't be fair to him. She was still in love with her husband, and even though that was an impossible dream, she could still not move on. She needed time. Besides, Jimmy was her friend and she couldn't see him as anything else, at least, for the time being. She wanted to explain everything to him but she felt speechless. She tried to talk, but only two words managed to come out of her mouth. "Thank you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

A week passed her return to Sweetwater. It had been a very long week for Louise. Coping with every single day hadn't been easy for her even though she had tried to convince herself that everything was all right. She had done her best to act as if the situation did not affect her, but deep down Louise felt unable to come to terms with the circumstances. Every time she turned round there he was. His image slapped her in the face hard, and she felt like she was on the brink of shattering.

Louise had tried to fight against her feelings but they were stronger than her. She knew that she was behaving improperly, feeling angry all the time and on the verge of losing her temper. She was aware that she hadn't treated him fairly. Naturally, she understood that the present situation wasn't his fault. It wasn't hers either. Life had struck her hard once again, and she didn't know what she had done wrong to deserve this unlucky streak. She felt so helpless and this feeling made her unload all her rage on everybody, especially on the man who was still her husband.

Thankfully the week was now over. This Sunday she could have some peace and quiet. She enjoyed Sundays when everybody was off. Especially in the good weather nobody stayed at the ranch. The workers usually spent their time in town. Likewise, Buck and his family regularly went on an outing every Sunday. As a result, it was only her and the animals. She loved to go for long walks or for rides without meeting a soul. She also took her time to do her chores around the ranch. The rest of the week was usually hectic and on Sunday Louise enjoyed spending some time with the horses as she saw to the feed of the animals.

She had just got up and was enjoying a big Sunday breakfast. The day was bright and sunny. Today she intended not to think about her problems. It was going to be a great day, just for herself because she really needed some peace of mind.

After breakfast was over, she began clearing the table. She took all the dirty plates, cups and cutlery to the sink, and paused for a moment to look out of the window. The first rays of the sun reflected on her face and Louise took a moment to bask on their warmth. Yet, suddenly something caught her eye. She thought to have got a glimpse of a shadow and heard a faint noise coming from the stables. It took her a couple of seconds to be in alert. It wouldn't be the first time they had had problems with rustlers and she wasn't going to leave it to chance.

Louise grasped her revolver which was hanging on the rack next to the front door, and she crept her way out through the kitchen door cautiously. She suspected that the person who was in the stables wasn't aware of her presence. The ranch was normally deserted being Sunday, and that might be the reason why somebody had trespassed. She just hoped that she could deal with whoever it was on her own, and hopefully, there would be only one.

Louise made a dash for the stables stealthily. She stood still outside the building for a few instants, trying to make out any sounds coming from the stables. Then she knew she hadn't been wrong, as she could clearly hear that there was somebody inside the building. She pulled in the hammer of her revolver and advanced cautiously towards the door. She opened it slowly, but then in a flash she aimed her gun purposely while she shouted, "Don't you move!"

With the speed of light the person turned round and aimed his own revolver at Louise. Coming face to face with whoever was charging into the stables like a thunderbolt, Kid lowered his revolver, letting out a gasp of relief. "Are you crazy?" Kid shouted at her. "I could have killed you!"

Louise also dropped her revolver after the fright. "For God's sake, man. You scared the daylights out of me." She let out her held breath. "I thought… I…" She tried to say, but all of a sudden, realizing how ridiculous the situation was, she began to laugh hysterically. In spite of himself Kid ended up joining in her mirth. After a while she was able to control her giggles. "What are you doing here?"

"Somebody has to feed the animals," Kid replied.

Louise nodded and came closer to him. "It's Sunday for goodness' sake. I'll take care of it. I usually do but I've been shirking my responsibilities lately."

"It's my responsibility now too." Kid said gravely and then smiled at her. "If we do it together, we can finish sooner."

Louise shrugged her shoulders in indifference, and the pair just got to work. It took them a couple of hours to end the cleaning and feeding of the animals. When they had finished, Louise had two cold glasses of lemonade ready. Kid sat next to her on the porch to taste the refreshing drink.

"Thank you," Kid said.

Louise stayed silent and just smiled briefly. After a couple of minutes of welcoming rest the young woman decided to speak. "I'd like to apologize for my behavior this past week. I really haven't been myself." She kept staring at the horizon, not daring to meet his eyes. "I know it ain't your fault if things are the way they are and…"

"You don't need to apologize. I understand," Kid cut her off. "We just need to get used to each other. You're not so bad after all," he added with a broad grin.

Despite everything, Louise smiled back. "It ain't gonna be easy."

"I know," Kid answered, and they both relapsed into silence once again.

"It's a fine day," Louise said after a while. "Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the company and all, but it's a waste to be stuck here. Come on, go and have some fun out there."

"What about you?"

"I'd rather be in peace and quiet. I ain't very fond of the town; there are too many people." As she talked, she made a grimace.

"I never thought you were shy," Kid remarked.

"I'm … I'm rather complicated," Lou admitted.

As Louise seemed to be opening up to him, Kid felt bold enough to keep asking her further questions. "Buck told me that you worked for the Pony Express as a rider and dressed up like a man." Kid asked cautiously. "Is it true?"

"If Buck says so, I guess it is," Louise answered somberly, not liking the way the conversation was taking.

"It's really incredible. I've never met a woman like you." Louise kept silent and Kid continued not noticing her annoyance. "Did you have people fooled long?"

"I don't remember," Louise responded curtly.

Kid turned his eyes to her, surprised by her answer and her cold tone. Then he realized that her previous light-hearted stance had changed into irritation. Yet, this did not deter him from continuing asking any further. "You don't remember?" he repeated her words in an ironic tone. "I don't understand you. Everybody seems so eager for me to remember things and you … Why are you so adamant to keep mum about the past?"

Louise looked into his eyes intently and said, "I don't give a damn whether you remember or not. That won't bring me back Kid's love and nothing else matters." She let out a sigh and rose to her feet. "Good day," she said before turning and disappearing into her house.

* * *

Kid headed slowly towards Alice's hotel room. He had told her that they would spend the day together after taking care of his responsibilities at the ranch. The conversation with Louise hadn't left him indifferent. He was glad that for once they had been able to have a normal conversation without the usual fighting, and after talking to her, he could sense that she was a good woman just like everybody else had been telling him. No wonder Kid had married her. He smiled inwardly at his own thought. He was beginning to sound like her, talking about himself as if it was somebody else.

It was true she was starting to see something else in Louise, something he hadn't seen before. The first week of meeting her had been a disaster as she herself had admitted. Before now he had considered her to be just an obnoxious obstacle in his happiness with Alice, but this last conversation had made him understand that her anger was simply pain. In a way he was responsible for her unhappiness, but he couldn't do anything about it. He was engaged to Alice and there wasn't anything else he had to contemplate. However, the conversation had awakened an interest in him to know more about Louise. She was an enigma, and the fact that he had been married to her attracted his interest. This didn't have anything to do with any romantic notions, he told himself. He was sure of what he wanted. He loved Alice. This sudden interest in Lou was just natural curiosity, nothing else. They could become good friends once they had overcome their differences. After all they shared a business and it was fundamental for them to get on well.

Kid knocked on Alice's door. A very smiling Alice opened the door, gave him a light kiss on the cheek and said, "Guess who has come!"

He was about to reply but she didn't give him the opportunity. She yanked him into the room and steered him to the person sitting by the window.

"Mr. Campbell!" Kid exclaimed in obvious surprise. "Alice told me you were coming but I didn't expect you so soon."

Alice's father got up and came to shake hands with Kid. "You've been living here for over half a year. It was high time I paid you a visit," the man said with a grin. "Besides, we need to discuss a few things, for example, your divorce."

Kid hung his head in shame. It was the first time he had seen Alice's father since they had settled down in Rock Creek, and his "special" situation made him feel awkward. Mr. Campbell was aware of everything concerning him. Alice had visited him a couple of times in Fort Kearney where he was living and working as a doctor. She had told him that her father was fine with the situation, that he understood that Kid still had some burdens from his past life, but anyway, Kid didn't feel at ease, especially now that he had to face him.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for…," the young man began clumsily but Mr. Campbell cut him off.

"No need to apologize, son. It's not a sin to have a past life. But now we are on the right way to mend things."

Kid smiled relieved. "Thank you, sir."

"But," the man continued, "I've been looking through that divorce petition of yours. It's fine by me if you want to do things your own way. I didn't want to meddle when you didn't accept my offer to pay for the fees of that lawyer friend of mine. But I can't allow anybody to take advantage of your kindness."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Kid said, puzzled.

"What I mean is that the terms of this petition are ridiculous. Your past marriage entitles you to fifty per cent of everything by law."

"Half the ranch is mine," Kid stated.

"The business is, but what about the property? That land is yours as well as hers."

"I don't want anything else," Kid said decidedly.

"David, it's not a matter of what you want. It's a matter of what's rightfully yours," Mr. Campbell explained.

"Things are fine as they are now, sir," Kid insisted.

"You can't live in a hotel for ever, especially when you two get married," the man continued.

"I'll get a property of our own, Mr. Campbell," Kid stated firmly.

"Can you afford it right now, David?"

Kid felt trapped and could only shake his head. Alice's father had a way to confound his arguments. To his chagrin Alice always agreed with her father no matter what. It was one of the few things about his fiancée that annoyed him most. Even in the most banal things she was always on her father's side. She had never tried to defend him in any confrontation with her father even when he was wrong.

"Pa is right, honey." Alice said. "You are the owner of that ranch but you act as if you were just another laborer. Even that Indian has his own property there."

"Alice, we just wanted the divorce. I thought you were happy with that," Kid said quite annoyed at his fiancée. "Besides, I don't want any more problems with Louise, I mean, with Mrs. McCloud."

"That's nice of you," the old man added. "But there's nothing wrong in claiming what belongs to you rightfully. Just think about it, all right?"

Kid just nodded, but he knew that there was nothing else to think about. He was more than happy with his share of the ranch, and didn't need anything else. Now that things might get a bit better between him and Louise, he didn't want to spoil it. He wanted her to know that he meant well. He was happy because he loved the job; he loved working with the horses. He wasn't eager for money or anything. Eventually, he could provide Alice with everything; she wouldn't have anything to complain about. Now he couldn't afford to buy a place of their own but with time he knew that he could sort that out. _But_, Kid thought, _I was wrong in believing that Alice would be as happy as him._ She was used to having everything and Kid guessed that she wouldn't be happy with just anything. She just wanted more.

* * *

"Then you're back together?"

"Yeah," the boy beamed with pleasure, "Laura was just trying to make me jealous. She said that I didn't pay her enough attention. Women!"

Louise rolled her eyes and hit him on the head lightly. "You men!" She laughed and added, "I'm glad that you've worked things out. You make a nice couple."

Louise had come down to the town as she needed to buy some things for the ranch from Tompkins. She had brought Jamie along to help her carry some of the provisions. They headed towards the general store and made their way inside. There were a couple of ladies chatting amicably with Tompkins, and a man looking around the store. She greeted Tompkins and the ladies politely as they entered.

While Jamie took care of buying the grain, the horse feed and some other provisions, Lou had a look at the fabrics in the store. She needed to buy some material for a new dress. Theresa's future parents-in-law were coming at the end of the week and she had to make sure that Theresa had everything she had dreamed of. Her little sister would have the best on her wedding day and Louise promised herself that she wouldn't show Theresa in a bad light in front of her in-laws. Her siblings were an important part of her life. In the last years she had tried to make up for all the time they had been apart, and she had given them everything that she had been able to when they had finally lived together.

Louise was so immersed in her thoughts that she never realized that somebody had stopped in front of her. Not until he called up her name did she notice him at all. She looked up, and the man repeated her name. "Mrs. McCloud?"

Louise nodded and the man continued: "My name's Charles Campbell. If you don't mind, I would like to discuss some personal matters regarding Mr. David Kelly."

Lou looked at him with a puzzled expression. "What?"

"Your former husband. He happens to be my future son-in-law," the man explained.

"I see," Lou said curtly.

"¨There are some points to be cleared in the terms of your divorce."

"Excuse me?" Lou looked completely baffled at the man's brazen interference. "I don't have anything to discuss with you."

"Mrs. McCloud, it's no good to avoid mending past mistakes," the man insisted.

"I beg your pardon?" Lou continued angrily. "I have made many mistakes in my life, but my marriage ain't one of them. I have never been so sure of anything in my whole life. Anyway, I already signed whatever papers I had to. And now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do."

Louise was about to leave when the old man clutched her by the arm and stopped her departure. Louise looked up at him indignantly. "Please let go of me," she shouted, attracting the looks of the other customers in the store.

Realizing that somebody was bothering Louise, Jamie came striding to them. "Let go of her!" Jamie shouted but Louise gestured him to keep quiet and stay put.

"Mrs. McCloud," the old man said, "I'm trying to safeguard Mr. Kelly's rights. There are some gaps in that petition to his detriment. There's no mention whatsoever of David's rights to the property among other things."

Louise was fuming with indignation at the man's impertinence. "I don't usually talk about my personal affairs to strangers," Louise talked in a low angered voice. "And this ain't gonna be the first time." She yanked her arm out of the man's grasp and just said, "Good day, sir. Let's go, Jamie."

The boy stayed looking at the man threateningly, and had to restrain himself in his impulse to beat up the man. The way he had treated Louise didn't deserve any less. Louise called his name again and he followed her reluctantly.

* * *

Surprisingly today there was some time to spare and relax in the middle of the day. The workers were just playing some games of poker. Kid wasn't very fond of the game but he liked watching the others. It gave him an opportunity to share some laughs. They were terrible. They always tried to cheat at the game no matter what, but it was good fun anyway. At the moment Frank was angrily throwing insults to another of the boys because he had tried to hide some cards under his jacket sleeve. Kid was laughing his head off while Buck mischievously tried to add fuel to the flames with his remarks.

In the middle of their amusement suddenly the door slammed open and Louise stormed into the bunkhouse. She walked purposely towards Kid, who was sitting at the table, and slammed a stack of papers down before him. He looked at her and noticed that she was in her usual angered mood. Kid was surprised to see her in this bad temper as she had been in a cheerful disposition in the morning.

"What name can you read in these documents?" Louise bellowed.

Kid did not understand why she sounded so furious. He lowered his eyes to the papers before him, and he realized that they were the title deeds of the property the ranch had been built on.

"Can you read? Or don't you remember that either?" Louise roared sarcastically. Kid glared at her silently, but she didn't turn a hair. Contrarily she continued in the same tone, "Whose name can you read?"

He looked up at her again and said, "Yours. What…" He tried to talk but Lou wouldn't let him.

"Very well," Louise said as she retraced her steps towards the door. "And don't ever send any of your pawns to me again. Is that clear?" She gestured at him with her index finger threateningly before making her way out in a flash.

Everybody in the room was flabbergasted at the outburst of Louise. Nobody said a word until Buck exclaimed, "What was that?"

"I don't really know," Kid said.

Jamie, who had entered after Louise, spoke up from his discreet position by the door. "Some man approached her in Tompkins' store. He talked a lot of gibberish about your rights on the property."

Jamie hadn't finished talking when Kid came to realize why Louise had been so angry. He covered his face with his hand and exclaimed, "Oh no!" He looked up at Buck and said with obvious annoyance: "It's Alice's father. Yesterday he kept pestering me about all that."

"He wasn't very tactful," Jamie remarked.

"I … I had no idea. I told him to leave the matter alone," Kid said sincerely.

"Kid," Buck began, "the property belongs to Lou in its entirety. It was a present from Emma to her. All this land is hers alone. You two only share the business."

Kid nodded. "I really don't want anything else. I .." Kid felt so angry and indignant that he couldn't find the words.

"We know, my friend," Buck told him, patting his shoulder affectionately.

Kid smiled despite the anger boiling inside him. How could Mr. Campbell act on his behalf without his permission? He had clearly stated that he didn't want to do anything about the matter. The man had blatantly ignored his wishes and had put him in a very bad position. Now that things seemed to flow better between him and Louise this event would spoil everything. How could he approach her after this? He perfectly understood how angry she must be with him. He had offered her his friendship and on the following day it would look as if he had acted behind her back in a treacherous way.

He rose and clapping his hands he said to the rest of the boys: "Let's go back to work." He would think about the way to sort things out later.

* * *

Kid pounded at the door decisively. The rest of the day had dragged terribly as he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Mr. Campbell's blunder all day. He hadn't seen Louise after their confrontation, and he hadn't found the courage to knock at her house to explain himself.

Alice opened the door surprised at the urgency of the knocks. She greeted Kid with a light kiss on his lips but he kept a cold stance and did not kiss her back as usual. He still felt very angry.

"Where's your father?" he asked her curtly.

"What's wrong, David?" Alice said, surprised at his coldness.

Kid didn't have time to answer her as Mr. Campbell showed up in the room and said, "David? Is something the matter?"

Kid answered in the same cold tone, "You know what it is. I told you to stay put."

Mr. Campbell nodded, aware of what the young man was talking about. "I see. David, I wanted to help you but that woman wouldn't listen."

"I told you that I would think about it. That's all," Kid insisted.

"Come on, David. Pa was just trying to help us," Alice added.

"Well, actually, he didn't help me at all," Kid answered even more annoyed at Alice for leaping to his father's defense. "But I guess you don't see any of my points if it's not with the approval of your father."

"David!" Alice exclaimed, completely baffled at his attitude. "I'll never…"

"Let's all calm down," Mr. Campbell piped up. "David, please, forgive me for meddling in your affairs. I just meant well. I happened to be in the store when some lady greeted this woman. I thought to try my luck and help you."

Kid felt his anger cool down. "I know you meant well, Mr. Campbell. But it wasn't a good idea."

"There's nothing wrong in claiming what belongs to you rightfully," the old man insisted.

"Nothing belongs to me. That property is hers alone. I saw the deeds," Kid explained.

"One moment. Any belongings acquired within the bond of matrimony …" the man began but Kid's intentional look made him stop. "Let's leave things as they are if that's what you wish." He paused, and then added. "And now that everything is solved, I'm starving. Why don't we have a bite in the restaurant?"

Kid and Alice nodded kindly. Everything was forgotten but in the pit of his stomach he had a sinking feeling. Even though it hadn't been his fault Kid felt that he had betrayed Louise to a certain extent. He had assured her that he wanted her friendship and at the first opportunity he had shown her nothing but ill-will though involuntarily. He didn't know why but he was feeling very uneasy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Two days went by, and Kid hadn't had the opportunity yet to talk to Louise. He had been away for the last couple of days because an opportunity to do business in Blue Creek had come up. In those days he hadn't been able to stop thinking about their disagreement. Kid felt that the breach between Louise and him might have widened with Mr. Campbell's meddling. At least this time away had given him the opportunity to think over the best way to approach her.

As the town came into view, he spurred his horse into a gallop. When he finally reached Sweetwater, he let his horse slow to a trot. He was dirty and dusty from the ride, so he thought to stop by at the hotel and wash up before heading to the ranch. He got off the horse and tethered it to a nearby post. He began to gather his stuff but when he was about to turn away, he caught sight of Louise and Rachel outside the general store loading several parcels in the buckboard. For a moment he hesitated, trying to decide whether to approach them or disappear into the hotel. Finally Kid decided not to delay the dreaded meeting any longer and headed across the street towards where the ladies were. Rachel was the first to notice him.

"Kid!" she exclaimed. "Look who's here, Louise," she told her friend who was busy arranging the parcels on the wagon.

Louise looked up and catching sight of him she said, "Oh hi".

Kid returned the greeting and clumsily tried to apologize for what had happened. "Louise… er … I wanted to say… I mean …. I'm sorry."

Lou looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Uh?" she let out.

"I understand that you should be angry …" he continued but Louise cut him off as it dawned on her what he was talking about.

"I ain't angry," Louise simply said.

"Aren't you?" Kid asked surprised.

Louise shook her head, and added, "I had a long conversation with Buck. Actually, he had a conversation with me."

Kid nodded and smiled. "I'm so relieved."

"How was your ride?" Rachel asked.

"Not bad. Everything went fine," Kid answered and seeing the wagon fully loaded he exclaimed amused, "I thought to buy some candy from Tompkins but you must have bought the whole store."

Louise laughed heartily and said, "My little sister and her future in-laws are coming tomorrow. Everything has to be perfect."

"I see," Kid said.

Then all of the sudden Kid saw how Louise changed her relaxed mood into an annoyed expression. "Oh no," the young woman said. She was looking straight ahead and Kid turned his head round to see what had caught her attention, and then saw a middle-aged lady waving in their direction. Kid turned to Louise and Rachel again. They were throwing each other wary glances, but neither said a word. The lady reached them and exclaimed pompously, "Yoo-hoo!"

Kid moved out of her way and she passed him without even noticing him.

"Mrs. Johnson!" Rachel greeted her. "Nice to see you," she muttered, not believing her own words for one second.

"Mrs. Dunne!" the lady said enthusiastically. "We haven't seen you for some time. You have failed to come to our ladies' tea parties."

Rachel fumbled to find an excuse. "I… I've been busy."

"I see," the lady replied coldly. Then she turned to Lou and said spitefully, "Mrs. McCloud! Or should I say Miss McCloud?" Louise did not say a word and kept a neutral smile. The lady continued talking maliciously. "I've heard rumors that your husband has abandoned you."

Kid couldn't believe the nerve of the woman, but Louise seemed unaffected by her remark. The lady did not pause, and continued in the same spiteful way. "I'm really sorry for you, but if you let me speak my mind, I really can't say I blame him. You have to understand that a woman living among a bunch of young men ain't very decent if you ask me! I ain't implying anything by that, but you know what men are like. I guess you've learned your lesson now."

Kid could not keep quiet any longer at the malicious words of the woman. What she was implying was just atrocious and far from the truth. "One moment!" he tried to say but feeling Louise grasp his arm to shush him, he looked at her surprised and she gestured him to keep quiet.

Lou did not stir an inch and with a stiff smile she said, "I'm afraid everything you say is true. But what really did mean the end of my marriage…" she paused and feigning to feel embarrassed she muttered, "I… I can't tell you."

"Please, of course you can," the lady urged her, curious about this fresh piece of gossip. "We women must help each other," she offered hypocritically.

Louise looked at her calmly and firmly. "What really ruined my marriage was when my husband…" she paused once more and continued with a naughty brightness in her eyes. "… when he heard about Mr... Johnson…your husband's visits to my ranch. And you're right. I know what men are like… even yours!"

"OHH" the lady shouted scandalized. "OHH" she repeated over and over again, unable to find her own tongue. She had an impression of total disgust and shock, and scampered away like a bat out of hell.

Louise burst out laughing hysterically. Rachel scolded her lightly, also with an amused expression. "You're terrible, Lou. Poor man!"

"It serves her right," Louise said. "Didn't she come looking for a scandal? Well, I gave her one, just in the middle of her household."

Kid was also grinning at Louise's antics, but he wasn't very pleased with the situation. She should have done something to defend her reputation, and he feared that things like this would set tongues wagging. "What will people think if she talks?" he asked her.

Louise just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Who cares?" She turned to Rachel. "We'd better get going." Kid helped them to get on the wagon and Louise said, "Take the rest of the day off. You must be tired."

Kid was about to protest but Louise urged the horses forward. Kid stayed a few minutes looking after the wagon until it disappeared in the distance. Really, she wasn't like any woman he had met before. Alice was always worried about people's opinions too much. And here Louise seemed unconcerned for her own reputation. The wagon had already disappeared from his sight as he realized that he was smiling broadly. He felt that his relationship with Louise was improving and that would be beneficial in their partnership. Yet, something felt wrong. He was looking forward to tomorrow when he would see her again. 'We can be friends. I know I love Alice,' he told himself. There was nothing wrong if he liked Lou as a friend. Nothing wrong.

* * *

Kid and Buck looked around them in amazement. Today was the day that Louise had been talking about all week. She had to receive her sister's new relatives. It was the first time Lou had to face such a situation, and she was a bundle of nerves. When she had married, unfortunately there were no parents to meet on either side, and when Jeremiah had married the year before, his wife's parents had been unable to attend her daughter's wedding since they lived in Mexico. Now that they were spending some time with her family, Isabel, Jeremiah's wife, was trying to make up to their parents for the fact that she had got married without them.

Louise was very nervous. She wanted everything to be perfect for her little sister's sake. She had known from Theresa and her beau that his parents were very traditional and quite strict. His father was an army officer and his mother had been daughter, sister and wife of army men. Louise tried to convince herself that everything would turn out to be just fine. She just needed to keep calm. After all, she was used to dealing with people of all kinds. She had run the ranch all these years by herself and had to sell horses to people of all sorts. Dealing with Theresa's future parents-in-law shouldn't be so different after all.

"I didn't know you had invited the Queen of England," Buck said teasingly as he scanned the room. Louise had laid the table neatly, using a brand new set of plates and the silverware. She had also put fresh flowers and some candles on the table.

"I want everything to be perfect," Louise said.

"Everything will be all right," Buck reassured her and after a pause he added teasingly, "as long as you don't cook."

Louise looked daggers at him, feigning annoyance. "Rachel will."

"Then you don't need to worry," Buck insisted with a smile.

"I hope so," Louise muttered dubiously.

"It will be fine," Kid added.

"Everything looks so nice and clean. Even you don't look so bad either," Buck teased her.

'_Not bad? She looks stunning_,' Kid thought. He hadn't noticed her looks before except for that first day when his remark had put him in a fix with Alice. After that, he had been so annoyed with her that he had not paid her any attention. Besides, she usually wore men's pants or plain skirts. But now for the first time he noticed her big eyes, her tiny nose and her beautiful face. She was wearing a delicate pale blue dress which brought out her slim figure.

"Thank you, Buck," Lou said, blushing as she opened the door for them.

"Everything will be all right, Lou," Buck reassured her as he made his way out. "Just don't be yourself too much."

Louise's expression was one of utter surprise after hearing her friend's words. "What does that mean?" Lou shouted from the door as both men headed to the barn. "Buck! What does that mean?" But he never heard her.

* * *

They had not been working more than an hour when a wagon stopped before Lou's house. Kid, Buck and the rest of the boys stopped for a minute to watch. Kid saw a young girl, who he supposed was Theresa, dash to the porch and hug her sister, who had come out. Behind her came a young man of about eighteen years of age. Louise greeted him affectionately and then the boy proceeded to introduce his parents to her. Kid couldn't make out their faces from his position, but he could tell that their postures were quite stiff. In that moment, Rachel and Teaspoon appeared. Lou had asked them to join her in the event. When the series of introductions had concluded, it seemed that Teaspoon had blurted out one of his comments and everybody cracked up, that is, everybody expect the old couple. After that, they made their way inside the house and disappeared from his sight.

"Let's get back to work," Kid urged and they resumed the task at hand. It was a busy day. Apart from the daily chores there was a mare which was having problems at delivering its foal. It had been having pains since the day before and there was no colt yet. Dr. Wheeler had come that morning, but he had said that the delivery was just a bit slow.

Kid stepped into the stall where the mare was lying. Buck was kneeling before the horse which was grunting in pain.

"Nothing yet?" Kid asked in spite of the just shook his head as he brought a wooden bowl full of water toward the mare.

Less than an hour had passed when a bang and some shouts were heard. Curious, Kid and Buck stepped out of the stables to see what the uproar was.

"What's wrong?" Kid asked the boys whose attention was directed ahead of them. Jamie pointed at Lou's house. Kid saw how the couple who had arrived not even an hour ago stormed out of the house. The man was shouting angrily, "Come on, Joseph! Let's get out of here!"

The boy appeared after his parents, and they got on the wagon in no time. The man whipped the horses forward but he pulled into a stop at a few hundred feet from the house as they heard a piercing voice.

"Wait!" Theresa shouted after them as she dashed out of the house, an embittered expression on her face. She had barely descended the house steps when Louise ran after her and called her name. The younger girl turned her head and realizing it was her sister, she just bellowed: "Leave me alone!" Louise reached her and grabbing the girl's arm she made her stop. Theresa turned around to face her and she unloaded all the rage she felt, "How could you? How could you do this to me?"

Louise did not budge at her sister's anger. "Listen to me! I didn't do a thing!"

"Oh, come!" Theresa exclaimed with indignation. "You were rude, obnoxious and offended Joseph's father."

"He insulted me and our family!" Louise said in the same angered tone.

"Louise, you … you just flew off the handle because he mentioned Kid," the girl bellowed.

"I won't let anybody scorn my husband. Nobody… you hear? … nobody - least of all a stuck-up Yankee."

"Your husband! Ha! That's funny!" Theresa exclaimed angrily. "I'm sick of you and your crazy ideas. When are you going to come to terms with the reality? Kid didn't die courageously in the war! He's right there," he pointed at where the Southerner was. "And get this into your thick skull! He doesn't want anything from you. You worship him like an idiot while he struts around with another woman under your very nose!" she spat.

"Shut up!" Louise bellowed, but Theresa wouldn't be stopped and continued her tirade.

"You are always fantasizing about the wonderful happy life you and he shared. How happy you were together. Rubbish! You were fighting all the time and you never stopped nagging and bossing him around like a puppet in the same way as you bossed Jeremiah and me. No wonder everybody ends up leaving you. What a stroke of good luck for Kid to have lost his memory! Otherwise, he'd willingly have forgotten where to go home!"

Suddenly, a hard slap stung her right cheek painfully. Louise hadn't been able to restrain herself. Hearing her beloved sister say such spiteful things against her was more than she could endure. Hers had been a natural reaction. As soon as her hand touched her sister's tender cheek she cursed herself. Theresa touched her sore face and her tears began to run free. "Go to hell!" she shouted and in a flash she turned around and dashed towards the wagon. She got on the buckboard headlong and they drove away.

Louise stayed rooted to the spot. She let out a sigh and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, her little sister had already disappeared on the horizon. She turned her head and saw everybody staring in her direction, "Don't you have any work to do! I don't pay you to idle around!" she barked and the boys set to work silently.

Louise turned around and headed towards the inside of her house. She passed Rachel and Teaspoon, who had stayed discreetly on the porch. The former station mistress called after her, "Lou!"

"Not now, Rachel," she said without stopping, and slammed the door shut after stepping inside.

Rachel and Teaspoon slowly walked out towards Buck and Kid, who were still baffled after the strong argument between the two sisters. No sooner had they reached their friends when Buck asked, "What happened?"

Rachel sighed audibly. "That man… Tessie's future father-in-law is a moron. And you know what Louise is like."

"But what happened exactly?" Buck insisted.

"Well," Rachel said, "he began by making some abusive remarks about Indians. He caught a glimpse of you around here. Apparently he had fought in the Indian wars and didn't have a good opinion of your people."

"I see," Buck muttered in understanding.

"Then it was the turn of the Mexicans," Teaspoon continued. "Louise remarked that her brother was not present because he was in Mexico with his better half's folks. Well, this man had also fought in the Mexican wars and had kind of a grudge against our neighbors too."

"And even though sounding very polite Louise didn't stop herself from letting him know her mind on both occasions." Rachel added.

"But when all hell broke loose was when Lou mentioned how Kid had fought for the south in the war. This Mr. Addams basically called him a rebel and unpatriotic. It goes without sayin' how Lou reacted."

"I can well imagine," Buck said. "But what I don't understand is Theresa's attitude."

"She's just a young girl in love, Buck." Rachel explained. "I'm sure she didn't mean anything she said."

"Louise so wanted everything to be perfect," Kid muttered, feeling sorry for her. As he got to know her better, Lou surprised him more and more. It felt strange. She had stuck up for him against everybody. She had even fought with her sister to defend the man she had loved and possibly still loved. That man was him and to his surprise Kid felt kind of pleased. Nobody had defended him so passionately before. Not Alice anyway. He knew that his fiancée would have never stuck up for him like that if that meant to go against her father. Yet, Louise had done just that, she really hadn't minded to speak her mind, to defend what she believed in. However, it pained him to know that the event had only caused her more heartache.

"Yes, we know," Rachel added. "Now she needs to be alone. She'll be over it soon. She's tough."

Kid kept staring at the house, remembering the zeal Louise had shown for the encounter to turn out all right. "I hope so, Rachel," he said before he turned to go.

* * *

Kid got down from his horse and walked towards the stables. It was past midnight but even though he had tried to get some sleep, he hadn't been able to. He was worried about the mare that had been in labor all day long. Buck had made him leave hours ago, and Kid knew that his friend would take good care of the animal. He had gone to bed unwillingly and had only tossed and turned all the time. So realizing that sleep was not possible tonight, he had decided to get up and give Buck a hand, or at least, keep him company.

As he entered the stables, he saw the light coming from the last stall where the mare was. He advanced towards it carefully; he didn't want to give Buck the fright of his life appearing unexpectedly in the middle of the night. When he was near the stall, he called his friend's name but when he was about to step in, he stopped at mid-stride. Instead of Buck the person kneeling next to the mare was Louise.

"I thought Buck would be here," Kid said.

"He was but I relieved him," Lou explained. "After a hard day's work he needed his rest and so do you." She had had a terrible day after Theresa had left. She had tried not to be influenced by her sister's words. She knew that in a way the girl couldn't have meant them, but deep down Louise also knew that Theresa had spoken a couple of truths. She still felt captivated by the man who was talking to her right now. She told herself every single day that he wasn't the same man, that she had to get over him. Yet, the truth was that this very man had been and still was her husband. Maybe she was just trying to deceive herself but that was the only way she had to alleviate the pain that made her suffocate.

"I couldn't sleep." Kid replied. "Nothing yet?"

Louise shook her head and added, "But it won't be long! Feel here." She grasped his hand and made him feel the animal's belly. "Can you feel it?" Louise asked him.

"What am I supposed to?" Kid said.

Louise laughed, and let go of his hand. Kid grinned for his own ignorance, realizing he still had so much to learn. He sat down next to her. They kept silent for a few minutes and then he asked her, "How… how are you?"

Louise let out an audible sigh and lowered her head, sadness taking over her once again. Seeing her in that state, Kid hurried to apologize. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"It's all right," the young woman whispered. "I… I shouldn't be surprised. I always ruin everything."

"It wasn't your fault, Louise," Kid tried to reassure her. "If a fool insults those you love, what else can you do?"

"I know," Louise said, "but I should have bitten my tongue for Theresa's sake. After all, who cares what that moron thinks? But I might have lost my sister."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Kid insisted. "You were just being yourself."

"Thanks for reminding me," Louise said ironically, remembering Buck's words.

Kid voiced a "sorry" and they both laughed in spite of everything. They lapsed into silence again. The only sounds which broke the night's calmness were the grunts coming from the mare. Then suddenly Kid said, "Buck was right."

Lou turned her head to him in a puzzled expression, thinking about Buck's recommendation that morning, "Was he?"

"Not about that!" he exclaimed, and after a pause, he added, "He said you were different. And you are."

"Should I take that as a compliment or as an insult?" Lou asked him again, in a playful way.

Kid laughed but then his expression changed to a serious one. "I have never met a woman like you before," he said gravely. He looked straight in her big brown eyes and Louise couldn't avert hers from his. They were sitting next to each other, almost touching. Kid gulped nervously as he took in every detail of her beautiful face.

Suddenly the horse jerked violently and Louise was on her feet in a flash. It was time and she knew it.

"Try to keep her still!" she said to Kid loudly. "Do everything I tell you."

Kid followed her instructions to the point. After over an hour of efforts the mare delivered a strong and healthy colt. It was the first time Kid had witnessed the birth of a foal, and he couldn't avert his gaze from the beautiful scene before him. It didn't take the foal more than four tries to stand on its four small legs, and then came to its mama's side.

"There isn't anything more beautiful, is there?" he heard Louise asking. He shook his head still mesmerized and then he turned his attention to Lou, who was wiping the tears trickling down her face. "I'm silly," she said. "I've helped in hundreds of deliveries but it still gets me."

Kid just smiled at her, and in the silence of the night they continued admiring the miracle of life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

What on earth had happened? Kid was confused and totally lost. He wasn't sure if it had been the silence of the night, the special circumstances or just his clumsiness that had incited him to act in an improper way with Louise. Fortunately, the horse had broken the awkwardness of the moment. Otherwise, Kid didn't want to know what might have happened between the two of them.

He couldn't let himself get carried away by his own foolishness, and had to keep away from her. Nothing could, should happen between them. They had been married and clearly she still felt a certain attraction for him, but he couldn't allow his own foolery to stand in the way of his happiness with Alice.

Kid concluded that he shouldn't worry any more about this matter. He had just been a bit distracted. Lately he had been very busy and hadn't had much time to spend with his fiancée, and that was what he needed to do, had more moments to share with Alice.

It was the beginning of December, and so far that winter was one of the harshest they could remember. It was hard to work in the cold every day. Kid was chopping wood when he saw a dust cloud in the horizon. Several riders were heading towards the ranch, and when they were closer, Kid noticed that they were men in uniform. He wondered what the army possibly wanted with them. Buck came to his side when he caught sight of the soldiers.

"I wonder what they'll want," Buck repeated Kid's own thoughts.

Kid just shrugged his shoulders and waited for the riders to reach them. There were five soldiers, and Kid could clearly make out the one in command. When they finally reached the ranch, they got off their horses and the officer in command came towards them.

"Good morning, gentlemen. My name is Captain Hoskins."

Both Kid and Buck shook hands with the captain as they introduced themselves to him. Then the man in uniform continued. "I got orders to station my garrison in this territory. We're living dangerous times lately," he paused and then went on. "Anyway, we're camped on the outskirts of Sweetwater. We're suffering a shortage of horseflesh and in town we've been told that you have one of the finest ranches in the area."

Kid beamed proudly and said happily, "It would be a pleasure to do business with you, Captain."

"Very well, then," Hoskins agreed and then as an afterthought he added, "I hope you haven't had any problems lately."

"What kind of problems?" Buck asked.

"Do you know a ranch called 'La Hacienda'?"

Kid and Buck both nodded and Kid said: "Something happened?"

"Rustlers" the captain explained. "A terrible gang. They killed everybody and stole the horses. They burned the whole place down."

"The Edwards?" Buck asked aghast.

Captain Hoskins nodded somberly. "Even their baby. We're trying to track this band down but they've been quite slippery."

The men kept silent trying to digest the terrible news the captain had brought. In that precise moment Louise stepped out of her house and made her way towards them. Captain Hoskins caught a glimpse of her and all of the sudden his attention got caught by the young woman.

"Who is that beauty?" he asked mesmerized.

Both Kid and Buck turned to see what had caught the man's attention so suddenly. They saw Louise coming towards them, but they didn't bother to answer the captain. The man did not seem to mind as he was engrossed in the vision before him.

When Louise reached them, she greeted them good morning. Not one to lose his opportunity the captain rushed to pay his respects.

"Ma'am, I'm Captain John Hoskins," the man said.

"I'm Louise," she mumbled.

The captain took her hand ceremoniously and kissed it in a pompous way. "Enchanté, Madame." he said. "I didn't know that Sweetwater had its best treasure hidden at this ranch."

Louise was amused by the man's antics. She smiled and looked down embarrassed by his attention. "Uh… will you excuse me? I need to start dinner," she muttered, blushing violently.

"I hope to see you around," the man added intentionally.

Lou shrugged her shoulders and turned away to go. The man kept staring after her till she stepped in the bunkhouse and disappeared from sight.

Buck had followed the exchanged amused. He tapped the man's shoulder to attract his attention. "It didn't go bad," he said with a big smile.

"You think so?" the captain asked surprised. The woman hadn't paid special attention to his courtesies.

"Sure," Buck answered. "Otherwise, she would have bitten your head off."

Buck and the captain laughed heartily, but not Kid. He felt quite annoyed all of the sudden. _"What nerve!"_ he thought. _"Accost Louise like that."_

"We'd better go back to work," Kid said stiffly. "You can return to your responsibilities, Captain."

Buck was surprised at Kid's sudden coldness and looked at him baffled. The captain took his leave, promising to come back for the horses.

* * *

Lou smiled to herself as she busied herself around the bunkhouse. She might be behaving foolishly but she didn't care; she was feeling so pleased. Usually she hated it when one of those fawning men approached her with romantic illusions. Normally she showed them her least kind side, but this time it had been different. It wasn't that the man had any kind of appeal to her. She hadn't bothered to look at him twice. He was just like the rest, but his display of interest in front of Kid had shown him that she was no indifferent to men.

She wasn't that girl who had tried to hide from men. She had grown up and couldn't conceal her womanhood any more. Things had changed since she had first met Kid. It was silly but it still pleased her to show him that she wasn't a wretched woman begging for some love. She had options. Had she been dreaming last night or had she seen some spark of interest from Kid? Definitely she wasn't thinking sensibly. She was acting as if she were still a teenager. She had sworn to herself that she was not interested in him, that he wasn't her husband. But how could she believe that when his same eyes looked at her in the same way Kid's had? She couldn't let herself fantasize about him. She was in love with her husband, she always would be, but not with this Kid. She just had to understand that in her mind.

As she was clearing the table from the morning breakfast, the door clicked open and Jamie came in, whistling a tune. Louise smiled broadly and said, "I wonder what makes you so happy this morning."

The boy smiled at her but didn't answer immediately. He sat down at the table and then decided to speak. "Why shouldn't I be? I have a good job, nice friends and Christmas is just a few weeks away."

"Uh Huh," Lou nodded, a glitter of amusement in her eyes.

"What?" Jamie asked dumb-founded.

Louise patted his shoulder and with a smile still plastered in her face, she said, "Nothing. Just never met anybody so happy about Christmas."

Jamie shook his head and couldn't help join in her hilarity. They laughed together and when their mirth had finally subdued, Jamie said, "This coming Christmas is gonna be great." Lou looked at him quizzically, and the boy looked back at her seriously. "I'm gonna propose to Laura."

"Jamie!" Lou exclaimed and came to sit opposite him.

"I know what you're gonna say. I know I'm young but I really know what I want. I love Laura, never loved anybody so. "

Louise smiled and held his hand affectionately. "I'm really glad for you."

The boy smiled back. Her encouragement raised his enthusiasm. "I have so many plans for us, Miss Louise. I'm gonna be the best husband ever, and make sure she's happy."

Lou was moved by the boy's strong feelings. He had always reminded her of Kid so much. He had his same decisiveness, his kindness. Kid had been so sure of their relationship when she had been plagued by doubts. When she had finally learnt what was in her heart, life had taken him from her. She hoped that things would work out for Jamie better. He was a nice boy and deserved to be happy.

* * *

Several days later the ranch was in full activity as usual. Teaspoon had decided to pay them a short visit. He was chatting amicably with Louise when he noticed a horse coming towards the ranch.

"Rider coming," the marshal said.

Louise turned her attention to the rider now approaching the property. Buck and Kid, who had also noticed it, dropped what they were doing for the moment. When the rider was closer, they saw that it was the captain that had visited them a few days before. He had visited them once more for the horse purchase he had originally come for, but now that the deal was closed, Kid wondered what he wanted. The man came to a halt and getting off his horse he approached them and greeted them all. "Good morning." Then he turned his attention to Lou and smiled at her flirtingly. "Louise." And he tipped his hat gentleman-like.

Lou just nodded her greeting and kept a serious stance. The captain turned to the men and said gravely, "I've come to warn you. We've been informed that two more ranches have suffered assaults."

"The same band?" Kid asked.

The captain nodded and added, "I have my men in their search. But this band seems to vanish into thin air. There's not a single trace."

"Nobody is that clever," Teaspoon said, thoughtful.

"Is there anything we can do to help you?" Buck asked.

Captain Hoskins shook his head. "You'd better stay on the lookout. This is one of the best ranches in the area, and it wouldn't surprise me you were next on their list."

Lou, who had known all about these assaults from Buck and Kid, added decisively, "We need to keep watch. We can't lose the ranch to those good-for-nothings. They won't catch us off guard."

Kid and Buck agreed whole-heartily. "We can take it in turns every night," Kid suggested.

"You can have a couple of my deputies and I'll give you a hand myself," Teaspoon offered.

"Thank you, Teaspoon," Louise said, visibly worried.

"I'm afraid I can't dispose of any of my men. We'll try to catch that band before the worst comes to the worst." He was looking at Lou seriously.

She nodded at him in understanding. "Thank you anyway," she said.

* * *

It was the third night in a row that they were keeping watch. Nothing had happened and, according to Captain Hoskins, no trace of the band had been found. Even though they had decided to take it in turns each night, they all were exhausted. They had to stay awake all night and keep up with the hard work on the ranch. Kid had decided to move to the bunkhouse for the time being. If the band happened to make their appearance, he wouldn't want to be too far to give a hand to the rest. Buck had done likewise and had sent April and the boys to stay in town while the threat hovered over them.

This third night Louise had insisted that it was her turn to keep watch. Buck and Kid had done their duty respectively the two previous nights. The two men had argued with her that she had kept waking up the other nights to see that the men had enough coffee, food or blankets for the night, and she should have some rest tonight. Yet, Louise had stood her ground and nobody had been able to change her mind.

The night was peaceful and quiet. There was a full moon which cast its light over the ranch. Louise had positioned herself on the bunkhouse porch. Next to her was Jamie. They tried to keep a low profile in the shadows. The rustlers had to believe that nobody was expecting them to strike. Otherwise, they would never attack and the opportunity to catch them would be ruined. Teaspoon and his men were hiding in the barn and several more men were scattered in different places around the ranch.

The night dragged and Louise sighed. She was exhausted as everybody else was. Nobody was resting properly even though they were taking it in turns. Everybody was nervous and kept waking up at the least sound. Lou feared that in case those bandits struck, they wouldn't be able to stop them. It had been ages since she had been part of something similar. She hadn't made much use of her gun in the last years, since she simply had a peaceful and honest business and nothing as difficult as this had ever happened. She didn't have to face the problems she had had to in the Express days. She had had trouble with rustlers before but not to such an extent as having to have her men keep watch every single night. Louise doubted if her men, her boys, would know what they were facing. As far as she knew, they had never been to a shooting before. They wouldn't be a match to that band if they attacked them, Louise feared.

Lou thought that this would be another barren night. The idea that there were a bunch of good-for-nothings out there, menacing what she had fought for so hard made her too angry. They couldn't keep this pace much longer. The men had problems staying awake in the daytime after a sleepless night. She had only had a few hours' sleep herself in the last three days. It was impossible to have any sleep when somebody was threatening her ranch's security. Nobody was going to destroy the dream that Kid and she had made true together. She wouldn't allow it. She'd rather die.

Suddenly she heard a noise, a faint noise, and then all hell broke loose. There were a dozen men on horses who opened fire as soon as they appeared in sight. Louise had been concentrating so intently on her thoughts that the attack had taken her by surprise. It took her a couple of seconds to gather herself and react. She hurried into the bunkhouse to take shelter. Jamie dashed in after her. The rest of the boys, Kid and Buck were on their feet in no time, ready to defend the ranch.

"You two okay?" she heard Kid's concerned voice asking.

Despite the darkness of the bunkhouse, she just nodded. There was no time to lose. The ranch was in danger and they had to defend it foot and nail. They took positions near the windows. She could hear the shots and prayed that everybody was fine. In spite of the full moon, threatening clouds had covered it and the ranch was enveloped in darkness. From her position, she could hardly make out the men on the horses. They were at such a distance that it was difficult to hit anything. She thought that she had shot one of the men but she couldn't be sure.

Louise stopped a moment to reload her gun and looked around her. Next to her, sharing the same position was Jamie and in the window on the other end she could see Kid and Buck intent on the task. They seemed to be having as little luck as she was. Two more boys were shooting from the other windows in the bunkhouse. Lou realized that they had to do something else. They couldn't hold out here for ever and she feared that the band knew that.

"We can't continue like this much longer," Buck said.

"They're too far," Kid agreed.

"We need to get out of here," Louise added, "be closer to them."

Kid shook his head. "It's too dangerous."

"Not more than staying here. And I'm not going to lose my ranch at the hands of those scoundrels," Lou said determined. She got up from her position and to everyone's surprise she headed stealthily for the door. In a flash Kid was beside her and clutched her wrist to stop her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kid shouted angrily, his face merely inches from hers.

"We need to get closer. Otherwise, they'll crush us," Lou said in the same angered tone.

"I know, but you stay in here. It's far too dangerous."

Lou didn't have to retort. She just stared at him hard, and he knew that he'd better not argue.

"This is not the best time to discuss things," she just added. "We have to act quickly."

Kid let out a sigh. He didn't like her being out there but he knew that he couldn't win. Louise was just so determined. They crept out of the bunkhouse, followed by Buck and the boys, and they took shelter behind the water troughs surrounding the building. They were not the best cover but they couldn't do otherwise. The bullets whizzed past them. Crouching, Louise could see the men riding before them at close range. She began shooting. The angle of fire was much better. She had dropped one of the men, and others were also being hit off their horses. Realizing their delicate position the band left their horses and ran to take shelter. Several men lay dead in the middle of the yard and Louise could see that some more were wounded and were straining to crawl out of the way.

From her position she kept shooting at the five remaining men. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kid and Buck leave the safety of their position and dangerously dashed towards the men.

"Kid! Buck!" she called after them, but they never heard her. She stopped shooting. Her attention now focused on the two men. She had her heart in her mouth. The two friends were joined by Teaspoon and the rest of the men. The rustlers were surrounded and the shooting stopped straight away. She heard Teaspoon's voice loud and clear.

"Lay down your guns!"

One by one the men dropped their revolvers. She let out her breath relieved. Rising to her feet, she scanned the men appearing from their shelters. She needed to check that everybody was safe and sound. Suddenly, she felt a strong shove, and she fell onto the ground heavily. Lou heard a shot and somebody yelling her name. She lifted her head and saw his body laying on the ground, inert, the front of his shirt full of blood.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

In a haze, Louise stood and her eyes fell on the dead body before her. "No!" was all she could repeat as her tears began trickling down her face. Jamie lay at her feet and she knew he was dead. He had saved her from a bullet aimed at her. Nobody had noticed the man slipping in the shadows in an attempt to escape. She had been seen as an easy target, distracted as she had been, and he had shot. Jamie had seen the whole scene and had pushed her out of the way, receiving the fatal shot instead. Alerted by his shout the others had turned their attention and seen Jamie falling. In a flash a series of shots were heard and the man had been dropped dead.

Louise dashed forward and knelt next to the inert young man. "Jamie!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. "Jamie!" She shook him violently. By now, she was crying bitterly, and repeating his name in a frenzy. Her hands and her clothes were stained with his blood by now as she kept shaking him, uselessly trying to bring him to life.

Louise felt somebody crouch beside her and an affectionate hand on her shoulder. "Honey," Teaspoon said sweetly. "He's dead."

"I know," Lou hiccupped. She looked up and saw everybody's sad faces around her. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and gathered all her strength to compose herself. She stood up and said coldly. "Let's finish this goddamned matter once and for all."

"We need to tell his family," Teaspoon reminded her.

Louise nodded in agreement. "He had none. We'd better tell Laura, his girl." She paused a moment. "Teaspoon, could you …"

Lou didn't have to finish the sentence. Teaspoon understood. "Don't you worry. I'll tell her myself."

"Thank you, Teaspoon," she muttered.

"Why don't you go home?" Kid suggested. "You need your rest. We'll take care of everything."

She nodded and looking one last time at the lifeless body of Jamie, she headed for her house dejectedly.

* * *

The night hadn't finished too soon. Kid lamented that the whole matter had ended up with a loss. In the short time he had known Jamie, he had realized that he was a good boy. His death had been so unfair. It angered him so much to think that the boy could still be alive if it hadn't been for that band of criminals. However, deep inside Kid was having mixed feelings because he really felt relieved. He had seen the whole scene develop before his eyes. He had noticed the man, gun in hand, heading towards where Louise had been. She had been distracted and he had been too far to do anything when that man had aimed at her. He had run towards her, calling her name desperately. And then, Jamie had pushed her out of the angle of fire and unfortunately, he had been at the receiving end instead. As much as his death pained him, he couldn't help but feel happy that it wasn't Louise who had died.

After the fatal incident, the other boys had taken care of Jamie's body and the other corpses. Kid had helped Teaspoon to take the remaining members of the band to prison. It had taken all his will power to control his anger on the ride to town. Those crooks had been bragging and making snide remarks about Jamie's death and their past deeds. Kid had almost lost his control but finally, he had been able to simmer down. Now the cells in Teaspoon's office were full and fortunately, all those criminals would pay for all the harm they had caused.

The worst thing had been when they had had to go and tell Laura about Jamie's death. He hadn't wanted to leave the difficult task to Teaspoon alone. It was also his responsibility, as the boy had been working for him, and had died defending something that wasn't even his. When the girl had learned the terrible news, she had been shattered. She had burst out crying and yelling in agony. Kid had felt so powerless and had been at a loss to find the right words to soothe her. Luckily, Teaspoon had been able to calm her some.

In the end, Kid had been able to make it to his hotel room in the early hours of the morning. He had gone straight to bed and he had fallen asleep in no time. Kid hadn't slept much in the last few days, and he welcomed the so much needed rest. He hadn't even had the strength to go and see Alice. He hadn't seen her at all in the last three days, but all he wanted right now was to sleep. He had all the morning to rest as due to the special circumstances he wouldn't have to go to the ranch until later in the day. Everybody needed their sleep so much.

* * *

He had overslept, and it was later than what he had planned that he woke. He knew that he did not have to rush back to the ranch. After all the hassle from last night, he had let the boys have the day off. However, he had to check that everything was all right. He hadn't gone back after taking care of the prisoners and telling Laura about Jamie's death. He supposed that Teaspoon had let Louise and Buck know. However, he just wanted to make sure, so he headed for the ranch. He didn't even stop to talk to Alice. He would see her later.

When he reached the ranch, he got off his horse and tethered it to the fence that surrounded Louise's property. He headed towards the house and when he was on the porch, he paused a moment, trying to make out any noises. He didn't want to wake her if she was still resting. Hearing some voices inside, he knocked lightly. After a few seconds, the door opened and he was surprised to come face to face with April.

"Hi, April."

"Kid," the girl said warmly. She paused and then added awkwardly, "Please come in."

He smiled at her and let himself in. Inside the house Teaspoon and Buck were sitting on the settee in the lounge. Their faces were sullen and Kid wondered if something else might have happened. Beyond them, he noticed Louise by the window, her eyes fixed in front of her. Rachel was beside her, talking to her in soothing tones. Though he couldn't hear what Rachel was saying, he could see that she was kind of begging Louise for something. Kid turned his attention to Louise once more and he realized that she didn't look fine .Her face was pale and haggard, and her clothes and hands were still smeared with dry blood from last night's predicament. April's clear voice woke him from his reverie.

"She's been there since last night. Rachel found her like that this morning. She won't talk, she won't move."

"But …," Kid didn't understand.

"She's deeply affected by that boy's death," April explained.

Then Buck and Teaspoon noticed his presence, and beckoned him to approach them. At that moment, Rachel had left Lou's side and came closer to them.

"She's so stubborn!" Noticing Kid, she cooled down. "Hi, Kid."

Kid nodded at her and Teaspoon said. "No luck, I gather."

"She won't talk?" Kid asked.

"Just says 'leave me alone','" Buck answered.

"Maybe she just needs some time on her own," Kid said.

"We can't leave her in that state," Rachel disagreed. "She hasn't slept in days. She will make herself sick."

Kid nodded in understanding and kept staring at Louise. Rachel was right. Louise was in pain and she didn't look very well. Without a second thought, Kid approached her. He stood beside her. Her blank look focused on the window before her. He called her name, "Louise." No reaction. "Louise," he repeated and again no reaction. "Lou," he tried for the third time and to everybody's surprise, she turned her head to him.

"Kid?" she whispered.

He smiled at her, but she lowered her eyes to her feet.

"Lou, we all regret what happened to Jamie and …," Kid said.

The Southerner couldn't finish as Louise roared, her eyes shining. "He shouldn't have died." She sighed. "He wanted to get married. He was gonna propose to Laura. He told me." She couldn't finish. Her voice drowned by the emotion. "It's just not fair."

Kid just looked at her gravely. He could feel her pain, and felt without arguments but he needed to do something. "Why don't you sit here with me?" he asked, nodding to the settee. "I feel kind of tired."

Louise stared at the couch dubiously but finally she sat hesitantly. The girl kept her eyes lowered, fixed on her lap. Kid was racing to find something to tell her. But to his surprise, it was Louise who spoke up.

"Everything I come close to goes to rack and ruin. Friends, family, my sister,… a husband, …." Kid cringed at her words but she continued. "I must be some kind of jinx."

"Don't talk like that," Kid said. "These are just hard times … for everybody."

"I don't know," Louise mused. "I … I …," she couldn't continue as the tears she had been suppressing for so long came flooding free. Her body was racked with sobs. Kid wrapped his arms around her tentatively and she pressed her face against his chest. She cried for Jamie, for her sister, for her husband, for Noah, for Ike, for herself, for everything she had lost on the way. For a time she hadn't let herself break down but she hadn't been able to drown her tears any longer. Kid hugged her tightly and she wouldn't let go. They stayed locked in each other's arms for about ten minutes and then Kid noticed her sobs calming and her body go slack. He looked down at her and realized that she was sleeping.

"She's fallen asleep," Kid whispered at Rachel.

"We'd better take her upstairs, to her room," the older woman suggested.

Taking care of not waking her, Kid shifted her against his right arm, taking hold of her legs with his free arm. Carefully he rose from the seat and began climbing the stairs, carrying Louise in his arms. Rachel went in front of him and opened the bedroom door to let him enter. He carried her inside and placed her softly on the big bed.

Kid looked around him with awe. This was the room that he had shared with her, the bed where they … He didn't let the thought get any further and he turned away to leave. Yet, he stopped as the dressing table at the far end of the room caught his attention. On the top there were several framed photographs and several objects.

Unbeknownst to Rachel, who was busy with Lou, Kid approached and peered closely at the different objects. In the first photograph there were two children, who Kid guessed were Theresa and Jeremiah a few years before. The picture in the silvery frame showed a bride and a groom. It was their wedding picture. Kid took in all the details. They looked so happy, broadly smiling and Louise looked absolutely beautiful. Next to the picture, Kid picked up a man's wedding band. He rightly guessed that this very ring had belonged to him; it had been his own wedding ring. He wondered why she had the ring and not him. Louise still wore her wedding band every day even though their marriage was broken. He left the ring next to the photograph and then his attraction was caught by a bundle of letters tied together with a red ribbon. He picked up the letters and read the addresses on the envelopes. He realized that they were the letters that he had written to her, probably from the war field. There were even small notes that she had kept from when they had been together.

He was so engrossed that he didn't hear Rachel call his name. She had to call him again to finally catch his attention. Kid blushed as if he had been caught red-handed in a compromising situation. Without further thinking, he surreptitiously hid the letters in his breast pocket without Rachel's noticing before turning around.

Rachel was holding a nightdress and she whispered pointedly, "Would you mind …?"

Kid looked at her with a puzzled expression but finally it dawned on him that Rachel just wanted to remove Lou's bloodstained clothes.

"Sure," Kid whispered shyly and proceeded to leave the room.

* * *

What the heck had he done? Why had he done something so stupid? Kid's thoughts rushed in his mind. He had taken those letters belonging to Louise without even asking. What had he been thinking? He couldn't have been in his right mind. How would he justify something like that? She would think that he had been prying in her affairs. There was no way she was going to miss the disappearance of those letters. She would know in no time, and once again he would be at the end of her more than justified anger. Why did he have to do a stupid thing like that?

Those letters had sparked his curiosity, and he was dying to read them. Yet, he felt he shouldn't. Yet, after all, he had written them himself although he hadn't even known that they existed. He still was ignorant about many things about his past. Buck, Teaspoon and Rachel had kindly answered all the questions he had asked. He knew about his family, about his brother, about his friends and his life in the Pony Express. But there were still gaps and they didn't have all the information. On top of it all, everybody seemed reluctant to talk about anything related to Louise. He knew that they had been in love and had got married. But other than that, he didn't know much; Louise always avoided talking about anything about their past. Whenever he asked her anything, she just changed the subject, and he really needed to know.

Kid opened the door to his hotel room. It was very dark inside, and he lit the lamp on the wall. In a few seconds, the room came to light and he noticed a figure sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Glad to see you." Alice said coldly.

"Alice!"

"You remember my name! I thought you had forgotten you had a fiancée," she continued in the same tone.

Kid shook his head. He didn't want to fight now. He was tired and needed some peace and quiet. The last few days had been exhausting. "Come on, Alice. It's been only three days. You know we had a problem to solve at the ranch."

"Yes, I do. But I also know that those bandits have been behind bars since last night. Where have you been all day? It's late and I got no word from you whatsoever."

"I had to go to the ranch and Louise …" Kid tried to explain but she wouldn't let him.

"Louise! Louise! Louise!" she shouted. "I'm tired of hearing her name. Tell me the truth, David. Is there anything going on between you two?"

"Alice, there's nothing. I swear," Kid said defensively. He was telling the truth, but he felt he wasn't being completely sincere.

She looked at him straight in the eyes but he couldn't dare to meet hers. He was being a fool. Nothing had happened between Louise and him, but he couldn't help feeling guilty. Something had changed. His feelings had changed. He just smiled shyly at her, but she didn't smile back. Something sticking out from his breast pocket caught her attention. She snatched it before Kid had time to react.

"What's this?" Alice asked as she fumbled to open one of the letters roughly.

"Alice, give them back to me!" Kid bellowed.

"What are these letters?" she continued as she began reading the paper. She looked at him shocked. "It's a love letter! You wrote a love letter to her!" she exclaimed horrified.

Kid was tired of her games. He snatched the letters from her roughly, and put them inside a drawer. "It's an old letter from before we even met."

"Why do you have them?"

"For Goodness' sake, Alice, stop this nonsense."

He talked to her gravely, his back to her. At this point Alice realized that she might have gone too far. She had been acting like a jealous fool. She approached him and wrapped her arms around his torso. "David, please, forgive me. I feel so lonely here. I agreed to stay in this godforsaken place for you instead of living near Pa. I hardly see you. We never go out or have fun together anymore. I feel as if you have me hidden out of shame."

He turned around to her aghast. "That's not true."

"But I feel like that. And we never talk about our engagement or the wedding any more."

"I haven't heard anything from the lawyer. The divorce issue ain't finished yet." Kid tried to justify himself.

Alice lowered her eyes. "I know. I am sorry." She reached to kiss him lightly on the lips. "Just promise to spend more time with me."

"I promise," Kid said whole-heartedly. Alice looked at him, and he smiled wryly. She flew into his arms and hugged him tightly. "I love you so much," she said.

"I love you too," Kid muttered but he had the feeling that in a way it didn't sound true any more. Something had definitely changed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

After the last few days' events, life had returned to its routine on the ranch. Kid was still mulling over the best course of action to take. He still didn't know what to do about the letters. He hadn't even read them. It didn't feel right even though he was more than curious. He felt he was intruding on her privacy, and had acted like a child in the first place, taking her private letters like that. Now he had to return them and he had to decide the best way to do so. He hoped he could do it without involving her. He couldn't go directly to Louise and tell her that he had taken the letters by accident. She wouldn't believe him and he would be the target of her well-known anger.

After much thinking, Kid supposed that he should approach Rachel and tell her about the whole thing. She would be able to return the letters to their original place without much trouble. With a bit of luck Louise wouldn't miss the letters before being returned. Nevertheless, he would have to suffer the embarrassment of telling Rachel how he had pinched those letters. He cringed at the thought of it, but that would be much better than dealing with Louise.

He kept looking towards Lou's house. Rachel had arrived that morning to see her friend. Before she left, he needed to talk to her. The longer it took him, the more likely it was Louise might miss her letters.

In that moment, he saw Louise and Rachel stepping out of the house together. Kid was glad that Louise looked much better than she had yesterday. She had needed her rest so much. The two women were talking as they headed towards the older woman's wagon, which she had left in front of the house_. "Damn,"_ Kid thought annoyed. He couldn't talk to Rachel now with Lou around. He'd have to find some other time. At least, Kid thought relieved, Louise didn't look angry or upset at all. He supposed that she hadn't found that the letters had disappeared from her bedroom.

Louise waved her friend good-bye and after that, Kid saw her coming towards him and Buck.

"Morning, Louise," Kid greeted her when she reached them.

She lifted her eyes to him and immediately he knew that she wasn't pleased. "Give them back to me," she blurted out, extending her hand to him.

"Wh…what?" he stuttered clumsily.

"You heard me. Give them back to me," she repeated angrily. That very morning she had searched all around her bedroom, looking for her husband's letters. She knew she hadn't lost them. She must have misplaced them, but she had been frantic when she hadn't found them. Even though she never took those letters out of her bedroom, she had even looked around the house. They were the only thing that she kept from him. His loving words to her. She couldn't lose them. Finally, her conversation with Rachel had shed some light on the whereabouts of the letters. Kid had been in her bedroom and seemingly, very interested in her dressing table. The mystery was finally solved.

Kid produced the bundle of letters from his pocket and in a flash Louise snatched them from his hand.

"I'm sorry." Kid fumbled for words to apologize but Louise wouldn't let him.

"This is the lowest, the meanest …" she roared.

"I said I am sorry," Kid cut her off.

"You stole my letters!" she exclaimed aggravated.

"I didn't mean to. It was an accident," he tried to explain.

"Ha! Some accident." Lou snapped. "Those letters are private."

"I didn't read them!" Kid roared but she wouldn't listen.

"You have no right! Nosing around my private things like a thief!" she continued, paying no attention to his words.

Her attitude was making him angry. She wouldn't let him explain and he blurted words he didn't mean. "I wrote those letters in my own hand," Kid spat. He knew he was talking more than he should, but he was furious. "You never answer my questions, questions about my life, and I have a right to know."

"How dare you!" Louise shouted. "My husband wrote those letters to me. You hear? My husband. And you're a good-for-nothing… you're nothing to me!"

She turned around without further ado and stormed towards the house, leaving Kid no opportunity to retort. He followed her with his eyes till she stormed in the house and out of his sight. Buck tapped him on the back and said: "Her anger won't last." Kid smiled wryly and just hoped he was right.

* * *

That same afternoon was Jamie's funeral. The little cemetery was full of his friends, who wanted to pay the boy their last respects. Kid looked around the crowd and saw familiar faces among the people gathered round the preacher. All the boys were there as well as Buck, Rachel and Teaspoon. He was surprised not to see Louise with them. Maybe she had decided to stay behind. The boy's death had been hard on her. However, scanning the other faces he saw her. She was next to Laura. The girl was sobbing quietly and Louise was stroking her back affectionately.

When the funeral was over, Louise hooked her arm around the girl's and steered her away from the grave towards the wagon. They silently walked arm in arm. On their way out they passed by Kid and he could tell Louise was still mad at him. He couldn't blame her. He would have been furious in her case. He had been meddling in her private things, and he had no excuse. Now his stupid behavior had ruined the good relationship they had.

What had made things worse was the fact that he had shown up to the funeral with Alice. She had insisted in coming even though she had hardly known the boy. After last night's fight he didn't have the heart to tell Alice to stay behind. In a way, she had spoken a couple of truths, but he knew that her presence at the funeral would not make things easier for him.

When Louise passed by him Kid had looked at her, but she hadn't even turned her head. He kept looking after her and didn't stop till he felt Alice nudge him.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

Kid just nodded and she added, "Poor girl. It must have been a hard blow."

Kid looked at her with a puzzled expression and followed the direction of her gaze. She was also looking at Louise and Laura, and he understood that Alice was talking about Jamie's girl. She must have thought that it was Laura he had kept looking at, which was a relief. He was tired of fighting and couldn't stand another argument.

* * *

Two weeks had gone by, and the tense situation between Kid and Lou was still the same. Buck had been wrong this time. Louise's anger had not diminished, and it didn't seem like the situation was going to change in the near future. Kid had tried to talk to her, to explain himself, but she wouldn't listen. As soon as she saw him approach, she just turned the other way. So Kid had stopped trying. He didn't understand her attitude. It was true he had made a mistake, but at least he deserved to be heard. He hadn't committed a crime, but the truth was that it had been his fault.

Louise never talked to him any more, and avoided any contact with him at all costs. She only talked to him if she had to tell him something related to the ranch. But most times she just used Buck as a messenger between her and Kid.

Christmas was approaching and, fortunately, he would have some breathing space soon. He and Alice were going to spend Christmas and the New Year with her father in Fort Kearney. Kid gladly welcomed the break. Next week he would be far from any problems with the ranch and from Louise. Louise! Why was it he didn't feel happy to leave her far behind? She had given him enough reasons to feel elated for getting rid of her for a time, but he wasn't happy at the perspective.

Kid and Buck were checking some horses that they had recently sold. Today the buyer would come to take them home, and they were just making sure that all the horses were in perfect state. Suddenly, in the silence a feminine voice called. "Hello?" It was Lou. "Buck?"

Buck's head appeared behind a stall. "I'm here, Lou!"

Louise smiled broadly at her friend, but her smile faltered when he saw Kid. "Hi," she said coldly, and the Southerner just nodded.

"You want anything?" Buck asked.

"Uh … yes," she muttered. "I want you to tell April that this year Christmas dinner is at my place."

"Very well then," Buck said.

"A family dinner?" Kid remarked, without thinking.

Louise turned towards him coldly and replied in the same stiff tone she had used to address him in the last few weeks, "Every year we all gather together: Rachel, Teaspoon, my siblings, even sometimes Cody and Jimmy if they're around." She paused and then added, unsure why, "You're free to join us, but I guess you have other plans."

"Yeah, I have other plans," Kid replied as coldly as her. "Thank you anyway." He was surprised that she had talked to him at all. Even more surprised that she had invited him to her Christmas dinner, though reluctantly. Anyway, this might suppose things might improve between them. The thought made him smile at her, but she kept a long face. Louise just nodded and left without saying one more word.

* * *

A series of knocks sounded in the silence of the room. Kid opened the door and grinned broadly when Alice appeared before his eyes. He kissed her on the lips lightly. "Hello, honey. I was just finishing packing. By this time tomorrow we'll be with your father. Ain't it great?"

Alice stared at him as Kid kept shoving his clothes into his carpetbag while whistling a tune. She looked at him seriously, which contrasted with the young man's cheerful mood. "David," she called but he seemed not to hear her. "David!" she called again, this time louder.

Kid looked up and chuckled at his absent-mindedness. "Sorry, honey. What were you saying?"

"You don't even recognize your name anymore," she remarked gravely.

"Nobody calls me David. Only you," Kid said, without stopping his packing. He didn't seem to notice Alice's solemn mood.

"David, stop it," Alice blustered, but he kept packing. "Stop packing, will you?" she repeated, almost shouting.

For the first time, Kid noticed that Alice was in a foul mood. "Something wrong?" he asked puzzled. "Why that long face? We're leaving tomorrow to spend Christmas with your father. Ain't you happy?"

"No, we're not," Alice said grimly. "We're not going."

"What?" Kid exclaimed, puzzled.

"I mean, I'm leaving … alone."

"What are you talking about?" Kid asked dumb-founded.

Alice sat on the bed and kept her eyes downcast. "This doesn't work anymore," she stated matter-of-factly. "It's pointless to continue this farce."

Kid knelt before her and tried to meet her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about, Alice. Don't be silly."

She lifted her gaze and looked him straight in the eyes. "Can you honestly tell me that everything between us is fine?" she asked seriously. "Can you, David?"

Kid stood up again and fumbled for the right words to say. "All couples have problems. That's not reason to break up."

Alice shook her head and then blurted out, "Are you in love with her?"

"What? Who are you talking about?" Kid asked annoyed.

"You know who." Alice said. "David, I'm no fool. I've seen the way you look at her. I'm not blind. Are you in love with her? Yes or no?" She demanded, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Kid looked at her straight in the eyes and he knew that she deserved his sincerity; he had to come clean with her. No more hiding.

"I don't know, Alice." Kid said, letting out a sigh.

Alice looked down, not daring to meet his eyes. "Why, I thought it was just my imagination, but you've confirmed my worst fears," she said wryly.

"Alice, I…," he tried to say something but failed to do so.

"Please, don't say anything. It's all right, David. Or should I call you Kid? Your life has caught up with you, and I won't stand in your way," Alice said as she rose to her feet. She came closer to Kid and kissing him on the cheek sweetly, she ended up saying. "Just promise me to be happy and … make her happy."

Kid nodded silently but she never saw him as she opened the door and stepped out of the room and his life.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It was Christmas Eve. Kid looked back at the recent events of his life. Alice had left him. He had never thought that things would end up like this, but now days after she had finally said goodbye, he had to admit that they weren't meant to be. Kid had seen her off the day after their break-up. It had been difficult and awkward to tell her good-bye, but he knew that she was right. They couldn't continue their relationship if he wasn't sure about his feelings. It was true that Louise stirred something in him. He didn't know if it was love or just merely infatuation, so he had to make sure that what he felt for Lou was genuine. He wouldn't like to mess up her life any more.

He stopped his horse and stayed on it for a few minutes, trying to muster the courage that he was lacking right now. After a lapse, he got off the horse and tethered it to a nearby post. He took something from his saddlebags and stomped decidedly towards the house. For a few seconds he hesitated whether to knock, and wondered if he should turn around and leave. After surpassing his initial doubts, he finally pounded on the door firmly. Steps were heard inside, and then the door opened. Louise appeared before him, and her face could not deny that she was more than surprised. "Kid…" she breathed.

Kid smiled awkwardly and his mind raced to find something to say. "Uh … I was wondering … uh, I mean, uh…" He chuckled, feeling like a fool with all his stammering. "Is it too late to accept your invitation to dine with all of you?"

Lou arched her eyebrows wonderingly. "What about your plans?"

Kid hesitated before adding. "Let's say there's been a change of plans."

"I see," Louise said and lowered her eyes. "I'm afraid there's no dinner. I'm on my own."

Kid was baffled. "What happened?"

"Well, seems everyone had other plans too. Buck is spending Christmas with April's folks. Teaspoon had to take some prisoners to Blue Creek. Rachel is sick in bed. My sister won't even talk to me, and my brother is still away." She paused to catch her breath. "Pathetic, ain't I?"

Kid couldn't help but start laughing, and Louise joined in his mirth. Kid voiced a shy "sorry" and Lou just smiled at him, letting him know that he was not angry with him anymore.

They stayed silent for a few awkward moments, and then Kid said, "Louise, it ain't just right to spend Christmas alone." He hesitated a moment and then he added, "You're alone, I'm alone… Why can't we spend Christmas together?"

Lou looked at him suspiciously. "I haven't cooked anything," she protested, though she longed to accept.

"Thank God," Kid joked. Her eyes widened and she feigned to be offended. He laughed blushing. "I mean, we'll make up something. I brought a bottle of wine," he said, showing his present.

She smiled, and shrugged her shoulders in acceptance. They stepped in and headed straight for the kitchen. An hour later they were sitting around the dinner table. With the few things found in Lou's larder, they had prepared a sparse meal: omelettes, vegetables, and boiled potatoes.

"Some meal we have for Christmas!" Lou exclaimed with a grimace.

Kid grinned broadly and said, "It ain't so bad. I like it." For demonstration he took a big bite, and made an appreciative sound. Lou had to chuckled, and Kid smiled, feeling relaxed and contented after the last two days. His smile vanished when he added seriously. "I hope you're not still mad at me."

Louise looked at him straight in the eyes. "We'd better draw a veil over that matter."

"I really don't know why I did something so stupid. I didn't read them, I swear, honestly, Louise … Lou," Kid continued sincerely.

"All right," Lou said with a smile, feeling strangely pleased for the use of her name. "I believe you. Let's forget about it. And now… tell me, what about that change of plans?"

Kid shifted in his seat uncomfortable. "Uh…Alice and I have broken up."

"Oh," Louise let out, not sure what to say about this. "I… I see." They fell silent again and then Louise added, shyly smiling at him, "Well, let's finish this delicious meal."

Kid smiled back. "But first, let's drink to you and me and to Christmas," he said as he poured the red wine. He lifted his glass to her.

"Merry Christmas," Kid said.

Lou grinned and she also exclaimed, "Merry Christmas to you too!" And they clinked their glasses.

The morning sun filtered through the window, casting its light over the room. A single ray fell across Lou's figure spread out on the bed. She reluctantly opened an eye, grunting in the process. Little by little she began to wake up. Yawning, she tried to rise but a sharp pain hit her. She had a splitting headache, which made her wince. Once more she tried to raise her body; this time moving slowly as any single swaying motion made her cringe with pain. Finally, Louise managed to sit up on the edge of the bed, and cursed herself for drinking all that wine last night.

After finishing up Kid's bottle, they had opened another one that she used to keep for visits. Lou was not used to drinking so much, and now she was suffering its effects. A light stir behind her made her turn her head. And then realization struck her like a ton of bricks. She looked aghast at the figure sleeping on her bed.

Memories from the night before came tumbling down. She remembered that she hadn't stopped laughing all the time. Anything he had said had sent her into fits of laugher. She had behaved like a hysterical idiot, and then he had kissed her. Or had it been her doing the kissing? She couldn't remember. Anyway, she remembered that the first kiss had been followed by another and another … She had problems remembering how they had ended up in her bed. Images of his hot kisses, his caresses kept popping up in her mind. It was something that she had desired so much and for so long but this was not the way. It shouldn't have happened under the effects of the alcohol. She wasn't even sure if he had wanted it to happen. Probably not. Neither of them had acted themselves last night. Now she would have to hear his excuses and his regrets.

Another movement behind her made her jump to her feet as though the mattress was on fire. Despite the splitting headache, she stood up in no time. Lou quickly donned her dressing gown over her naked body and fumbled to tie the belt. She stepped out of the bedroom in a flash and trampling down the stairs, she dashed into the kitchen. She needed a strong breakfast.

Louise began frying some eggs as thoughts kept rushing in her mind. She had been a real idiot. She couldn't afford to lose control. This would only bring her more heartache. She wanted to cry in frustration.

She heard somebody clearing his throat behind her, and Louise winced. The last thing she wanted was to face him right now but there was no way out. She turned her head timidly and saw Kid smiling at her. "Merry Christmas," he whispered. He had only his pants on, and Louise inhaled deeply, as her body reacted strongly at the vision of his naked torso. Trying to find a distraction, she turned her attention to the eggs again.

"Merry Christmas," she muttered, and after a moment's pause she asked, "Would you like some eggs?"

"That would be nice," Kid said as he sank down on a chair at the kitchen table. He didn't avert his eyes from her at any time.

They stayed in awkward silence. After a beat Louise decided to talk. She didn't want to prolong the agony any more. Turning around, she began clumsily, "Kid … uh … I know what you're thinking. Uh … We had too much drink … we weren't ourselves last night. I understand." Louise smiled wryly. "Gosh, I hardly remember what happened." She lowered her eyes, not daring to meet his.

Kid rose to his feet and approached her tentatively. "Well," he began, "if you don't remember, I'll have to do something about it." He placed a finger under her chin and tipped her face to him. He lowered his head and kissed her. First tentatively and then he deepened the kiss. After the initial surprise, Lou responded whole-hearted. She wanted to melt in his arms and never let go. She locked her arms around his neck and Kid clumsily fumbled to undo the belt of her dressing gown. Suddenly, she broke the kiss and Kid noticed her pulling away. Lou fought to disengage herself from him. Surprised Kid peered at her eyes. Breathlessly, he stammered, "What?"

Lou stared back at him and muttered, "The eggs." Kid chuckled as he noticed for the first time a burning smell. He rushed to remove the burnt skillet and shoved it into the sink heavily. Then in a flash Kid scooped her up in his arms.

"Let's have something else for breakfast," he said mischievously, and then he directed his steps back to her bedroom.

It had been the best week of all her life. She had never been so happy. They had been together since that night on Christmas Eve and had made love every single day. They had hardly left the bedroom. It felt the same as when they had first got married. Kid had been so caring and tender to her back then, and now he was the same. She couldn't believe that all their problems were over and they were together again. She couldn't stop giggling, she felt so light-hearted. This time nothing would spoil things between them.

That morning they had woken in each other's arms like the few previous days. She rested her head on Kid's chest, feeling his regular and soothing breath. Their hands clasped together lovingly. She lifted her head to meet his eyes and smiled broadly. Kid smiled back and reached to kiss her full on the lips. They broke the kiss and she laid her head on his chest again. Her eyes focused on their joined hands. She had something in her mind and called his name hesitatingly, "Kid?"

"Yes, honey?"

Louise smiled. It still amazed her to hear him using endearments for her. She kept her eyes downcast. Her index finger toyed with his wrist. "You know this thing between you and me …?"

"What thing?" Kid asked, feigning he did not know what she was talking about.

"Please, don't tease me. This is important," Lou said, punching him on the arm.

"All right. I am sorry," he apologized. "Carry on, I'm all ears."

"I think we should keep it secret," Louise said.

Kid had an amused expression on his face. "A bit late for that. I assume that everybody knows that you're my wife. Have you seen that picture on your dressing table? The couple looks familiar to me."

"I am serious," Lou didn't look amused at his remarks. "I mean this new thing between me and you." She began placing tiny kisses on his arm, which made Kid smile pleasantly. "That I like you. That you like me." Then she added seriously. "We shouldn't tell anybody."

"Why?"

Lou lifted her head and shifted to sit up next to him. She looked him straight in the eyes. "Kid, you had no idea who I was nine months ago. I do know what I feel and what I want. But you don't know me, I mean, really know me." Kid wanted to interrupt her but she wouldn't let him. "We have to work on this relationship. Things might get difficult, and I don't want them to get even more complicated by everybody meddling. I know what I'm talking about."

Kid did not like the idea at all. "I don't know, Lou. I'm not sure I can pretend everything's the same. I can't even keep my hands off you."

Lou smiled at him sweetly and stroked his cheek tenderly. "Just for some time. And …" she grinned mischievously, "it can also be fun."

Kid chuckled and cupped her head in his hands. He reached up to kiss her again, first lightly and the more passionately. He wanted her right now. He ran his hands all over her body. He just couldn't get enough of her.

Suddenly he thought he had heard a light knock downstairs. Again there was a knock, this time louder and more persistent. Louise disengaged herself from him and was on her feet and out of his reach in no time. The suddenness of her actions left him speechless. Louise covered herself with the quilt and leaned out of the window. "Coming!" he heard her shouting at whoever was down at the door.

Louise turned toward him in a flash and wheezed, "It's Rachel! Stay here and don't move!"

Lou wrapped her dressing gown over her and before Kid had time to say anything, she was gone. She descended the stairs and opened the door with a big grin plastered in her face. Rachel hugged her in greeting and let herself in. She sank into the settee and motioned for Louise to sit next to her.

"Thank God I've left that bed!" Rachel exclaimed.

Lou realized guiltily that her friend had been sick all week and she hadn't visited even once. She had been so captivated by Kid that she hadn't given any thought to anything or anybody.

"Some Christmas we've had. Me in bed and you here all alone," Rachel added.

Louise blushed, feeling guilty. She shrugged her shoulders in indifference. "It wasn't so bad," she muttered uncomfortably.

Rachel looked at her with curiosity. "Are you all right, Lou? You look kinda flushed and…," Realizing that Louise was wearing her dressing gown she continued, "Were you still in bed at this time of the day? Maybe you've come down with something too."

Lou covered her red cheeks and looked away. "I'm fine. Uh … there's nothing much going on these days. The boys can take care of everything at the ranch, and I was just about to have a bath."

Rachel nodded. She felt that Louise was acting real strange. There was something odd about her but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Or maybe it was just her imagination. She had been confined to her room for over a week, and the fresh air was making her feel weird. Suddenly, a very light noise coming from upstairs caught her attention. It seemed as if somebody had dropped something. Lou had also heard it and cursed inwardly. She had warned Kid to keep still and she wondered what the heck he was doing.

"Did you hear that?" Rachel asked, lifting her gaze to the ceiling.

"What?" Louise feigned ignorance.

"That noise, upstairs," the older woman explained.

"I didn't hear anything," Lou lied.

"Is there anybody upstairs?" Rachel asked seriously.

"Sure, my lover," Lou said jokingly, praying that Rachel would leave the matter alone. She burst out laughing. "It must have been the wind. I left a window open."

Rachel smiled. It wasn't windy today but she didn't contradict her. Then she added, "Anyway, I've come here for a reason. As we've had no Christmas celebration this year, what do you think if we have a nice Christmas lunch?"

"Today?" Lou panicked.

Rachel nodded. "Teaspoon will be here any time. We can't go without a little celebration this year. I'll cook and …"

"No!" Louise blurted out, getting a confused look from her friend. "I mean … uh," Louise fumbled to find an excuse. She had to find a way of getting rid of Rachel. Kid couldn't stay locked in the bedroom all day. "Rachel, I'm afraid I can't today." She rose to her feet and turned away from Rachel's inquisitive eyes.

"Why not?" the older woman asked. She got up and stood next to Louise. "You said that there was nothing much going on at the ranch."

Louise smiled wryly. "Uh…," her mind raced to find the right excuse. "The house is in a mess and with Buck and Kid gone, there's still things to do. Somebody has to keep an eye on the place." She came to Rachel, and hooking her arm around hers, she began steering her friend towards the door. "We can do it tomorrow. We'll have the nicest time." Nervous, she was now practically pushing Rachel and, before the woman could say anything, they had reached the front door. Louise opened it for her friend and with one final push, Rachel was out of the house. "Thank you for coming, Rachel," Lou said. "See you tomorrow."

Rachel heard the door slam close behind her_. "What had that been?"_Rachel mused. Louise had practically thrown her out of the house. She had acted really strange. Rachel shrugged her shoulders and began to move away from Lou's house, determined to have a chat with Louise as soon as possible.

Inside Lou let out a relieved sigh. She knew that Rachel would be wondering why she had behaved like a complete idiot. She felt guilty for keeping secrets from her best friend, but she needed some breathing space for Kid and herself. She couldn't have people wondering and guessing if things would work out for them this time. This was her calling, and she wanted Kid just for herself without any meddling. If she was bound to make mistakes, then let it be. She wouldn't have any interference, not this time.

Lou thought back to Rachel's visit some minutes ago. She chuckled as she remembered her friend's expression and her own clumsy words. "It can be fun," she said out loud as she climbed the stairs towards her love.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Christmas was just a distant memory as the ranch returned to its normal routine. Buck had come back a few days before, feeling guilty for staying away during the season. He and April had been regretful when they had learnt that Lou had spent Christmas Eve on her own. Louise had assured them that she had been all right. Deep inside, she thought that she had been more than all right. She had been in seventh heaven. From that day when Kid had found his way to her she felt like smiling all the time. She wanted to scream how happy she was, but her idea of keeping quiet about the whole matter seemed to her a good one. She felt so free and careless when she was with him. She didn't have to think if what she was doing was right. She only had to act as her heart ruled her to do. Kid was still doubtful about the viability of the plan but she wouldn't concede. They were going to do things her way. If he didn't like it, it would be kind of retaliation for her. That way, he would have to make up to her for his past doings.

The first day Kid had returned to work, he had had to bear Buck's inquisitive questions. Everybody had assumed that he had been away with Alice as he had originally planned. He didn't like this hiding but Lou wouldn't give in. He really didn't understand why they couldn't come clean with all their friends.

"Did you have a good time in Fort Kearney?" Buck had asked.

"Not too bad," Kid had mused evasively, hoping Buck would drop the subject.

"I guess Alice must be sorry to have left her father after Christmas," Buck had continued.

"Uh," Kid had hesitated. "She didn't come back with me. She wants to spend some time with her Pa. He was a bit unwell." He hated to lie to his friend, but Lou had instructed him what to say about Alice.

"I see," Buck had remarked, buying the whole thing. "I suppose that when you two get married, she won't see him so regularly, especially when children come."

Kid had just nodded, unable to find anything suitable to say. He didn't want to talk about Alice. She was out of his life for good. Now his life was Louise. In the few days they had been together, he had been happier than ever.

That had been the end of the conversation with Buck, and nothing else had been mentioned about Christmas or his fiancée. Using Alice's absence as an excuse he had moved into the bunkhouse with the rest of the boys. He was glad to be near Lou and at night he could sneak out and share passionate moments with her. Then he would return to his lonely bunk in the early hours of the morning before the boys woke up and noticed his absence. Kid hated this coming and going. He'd really like to move into the house with her and live as husband and wife. He felt so sure of what he really wanted. He didn't have any single doubt. He knew that Lou was the one for him, and he wanted to spend every single day, hour, minute and second with her. He would never have enough of her. But for the moment Lou wouldn't let him. She insisted that they had to wait and see.

It was very hard for Kid to pretend that there was nothing going on between Louise and him. Whenever he saw her, his heart raced and his face lit up. He wanted to take her in his arms and never let go. But instead he had to keep a cold stance. He always tried to fix his attention somewhere else because he knew that if he looked at her in that very moment, his expression would give him away.

Kid was in the yard on his way to the bunkhouse when he saw April coming towards him. She waved at him and Kid approached to meet her.

"Morning, Kid," she said with a broad smile.

Kid smiled back and greeted her. "You looking for that husband of yours?" he asked her.

April shook her head. "Naw. I see too much of him as it is," she said jokingly. "I have a letter for you. Mrs. Andrews from the post office gave it to me this morning."

Kid took the letter from her, wondering who it would be from. "Thank you, April."

April nodded and said, "I'd better hurry home before my two little ones destroy the house. They can be a handful." She sighed. "I warn you, Kid. Think it over before having any little ones."

April dashed towards her house as Kid laughed at her antics, but her words left him thinking. A little one born to Lou and him. Yeah, he would like that. The realization of that scared him, but definitely one day he would want a little girl who looked just like Lou. He had never thought about parenthood before. Not with Alice, anyway. And now his own wishes kind of scared him but really everything was so much different with Louise.

He beamed as he ripped the letter open. He unfolded the paper inside the envelope and began reading it. His heart sank. Cursing himself, he crumpled the letter up into a ball, clearly annoyed. His first intention was to toss it to the ground but then he thought better of it. He shoved the letter into his pocket and stomped towards the bunkhouse. When he stepped into the place, Lou was inside, finishing her chores, and despite his anger he smiled at her. "Hey!"

Lou grinned and approached him. She threw her arms around him and let him kiss her on the lips. "Hi, handsome," she said and her smile faltered as she noticed his long face. "Something wrong?" she asked worried, disengaging her arms from around his neck.

"I … I got this letter just now," Kid said and handed Louise the paper.

She straightened the paper and smoothed its many creases. She began reading it and soon she understood why he was in such a foul mood. Louise looked up at him and Kid said miserably, "We're not husband and wife anymore." He sank down on the bench at the table and covered his face with his hands. Louise approached him and leaned on the edge of the table, next to him. She crossed her arms and remarked, "Well, that's what you wanted, ain't it?"

Kid raised his eyes to hers and exclaimed annoyed, "For God's sake, Lou. Don't be so hard on me."

"I'm not," she replied. "I'm just telling the facts."

"I didn't know that …" he began but she cut him off mid sentence.

"I know." She was well aware that he had never thought that they would ever be together again. "But look on the bright side. Now you're free to choose whoever you like. You needn't stick by me." Her eyes were shining mischievously.

"Lou!" Kid scolded her annoyed. He rose and came level to her. "You're really enjoying torturing me, ain't you?"

Louise smiled teasingly. "Uh huh." She burst out laughing and he couldn't help it but join in her mirth He brought his hand to caress her face tenderly.

"I choose you, you know. Only you," Kid said, and he pressed his lips to hers lovingly. He was about to deepen his kiss, but they pulled away suddenly as they heard the door latch click open. Louise quickly busied herself with the plates she was washing as she heard steps making their way inside. She turned her head towards the door cautiously. Her cheeks were flushing red and her legs felt like jelly.

"Hey, Buck," she greeted her friend, trying to sound as casual as she could. She wiped her wet hands dry and came closer to the men. "Captain Hoskins," she nodded at the officer who was already shaking hands with Kid.

The captain quickly turned his attention to Louise. He took her damp hand and kissed it courteously as was his general custom. "Louise, you're a sight for sore eyes."

"Why, thank you, Captain," Lou exclaimed.

"Please call me John, I beg you," the man said flirtingly.

Kid watched this exchange annoyed. He didn't like the way the captain fussed over Lou. He had no call to come here and make advances to her.

"Is there anything we can do for you, Captain?" Kid asked, his tone just a bit too abrupt.

The captain seemed engrossed in Louise, and Kid had to call his attention twice. "Uh … sorry," he apologized. "I wanted to come here sooner but my responsibilities have kept me. I'd like to thank you all for your invaluable help in stopping that band," he paused for a moment and then continued. "And I regret your terrible loss."

"Thank you," Kid muttered.

They all stayed in silence for a few minutes and then Lou said, "Would you like a cup of coffee, Cap… uh … John?"

"I have to go back soon, but I guess they can spare me for some minutes," he accepted with a big smile.

"We'd better go back to work," Buck said. "Kid?"

Kid tried to find an excuse to stay in the bunkhouse with Lou and that scoundrel of a captain. He didn't want to leave Lou, his Lou, alone with that wily old fox. His mind was racing, but he seemed unable to find a suitable excuse. Before he could say anything he was dragged to the door by a laughing Buck. Actually, they were all laughing but he didn't know why. He cast a last annoyed look at Lou before he was dragged out, and the door slammed closed behind him.

Louise smiled wryly as she found herself in the sole company of Captain Hoskins. She didn't like the man particularly and his demonstration of interest made her nervous. She hadn't counted on being alone with him; all she had wanted was to see the look on Kid's face. Turing away from the captain, she began brewing the coffee. He approached her and smiled in her direction. She felt awkward being with him alone, having no idea what to say.

"Louise," the man began seriously, "I've heard that you and Kid were married." She just stared at him and wondered what he intended. "I've also heard that your marriage is broken, is that true?"

Lou looked down and just said, "I guess it is."

"Louise, I think you're a very beautiful woman," he remarked seriously.

"Uh … thanks." Louise was beginning to panic. She didn't like the direction the conversation was taking. Why on earth had Kid left her alone with this man? She prayed that he didn't intend to do anything stupid like declare his love for her.

He came closer to her, in Lou's opinion, dangerously too close. He was almost touching her, and she was getting very nervous. "Louise, I was wondering if I …," he tried to say but she cut him off blatantly.

"Coffee's ready," she exclaimed and quickly run to the stove, eager to break away. She served him a cup of steaming coffee straightaway. She wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible. She was racking her brains to find an excuse to send him packing without being too abrupt. Then the door opened, and Lou felt relieved and grateful when she saw Kid stepping inside.

"I forgot something." He eyed the captain suspiciously as he picked up a box of nails from a shelf. Lou had an amused expression on her face. It pleased her to notice his jealousy. She knew that he had just made up that excuse to spy on her, but she truly welcomed the intrusion.

"Kid, would you like some coffee?" she asked him. She had to make him stay; she wouldn't let him leave her alone with the captain again.

"Wouldn't mind if I had some," he said as he seated himself at the table.

The captain didn't look pleased at all. He hadn't been able to tell Louise what he had wanted. That woman had really swept him off his feet. He had only seen her a few times but he really felt attracted to her. It had never happened to him before. He just wanted to get to know her and hoped she would let him court her properly but he'd try to find another moment to ask her. He looked at Kid annoyed. If it wasn't for the rancher, he would have been able to speak his heart to Louise. But Kid had arrived at the most inopportune moment. The captain wondered how Kid had let a woman like Louise slip through his fingers. He must have gone nuts. Otherwise, the captain couldn't understand.

Captain Hoskins gulped down the coffee quickly and readied to leave. "It's been a pleasure," he said. "Louise. Kid." He tilted his head and made his way out.

Lou and Kid watched him leave and then she turned her amused eyes to him.

"So you've run out of nails?" she asked teasingly.

"Yup," he answered.

"Strange. I saw several boxes in the shed just this morning," she remarked, her eyes shining, unable to hide her amusement.

"Really?" was all Kid was able to say.

Louise couldn't hide her merriment any longer and burst out laughing, getting annoyed looks from Kid.

"What?" he exclaimed irritated.

"Jealous, are we?" Lou said.

"Of course not," he defended himself.

She smiled at him sweetly. He was still the same Kid. His excessive protectiveness had irritated her in the past, but now he found his attitude so cute. She had missed him so much that she had also missed all the things that had annoyed her too. It was clear that he wanted her all for himself and that's what she wanted as well. She slid her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"It's all right, Kid. You're the only one for me too."

Kid let himself be drawn into her embrace. He smiled at her words, feeling completely happy.

* * *

"Things can't continue like this," Louise's voice resounded in the empty bunkhouse. Apart from her, Kid and Buck were the only ones occupying the place at the moment. They were sitting around the table and Lou's attention was directed to a pile of papers lying before her. "We're going downhill. We ain't making enough money lately. Sales have dropped and debts keep accumulating." She sighed deeply. "Any suggestions?"

"We could cut some costs," Kid suggested, "like reducing the workforce among other things."

Louise shook her head. "I won't let anybody go."

"I know how you feel," Kid retorted. "I feel the same but we can't keep everybody if we can't pay them."

Lou was adamant. "Nobody's leaving and that's final."

Kid shrugged his shoulders and did not insist more. He really had no other ideas to improve the delicate situation the ranch was suffering. Buck cleared his throat to call their attention and spoke up. "I have no call in meddling here. After all, you're the owners."

Louise reached to pat his hand affectionately and said, "You're just as important as we are in this. I don't know what I would have done without you all these years, Buck. And you know we value your opinion."

Buck smiled and said, "There's a way." Lou arched her eyebrows questioningly and Buck added, "McDowell"

"No way!" Lou was quick to protest.

"McDowell?" Kid asked.

Buck proceeded to fill his friend in. "He owns the biggest cattle ranch in the territory. He must be the richest man in Nebraska. Has hundreds of men working for him and his dealings in the east are making it big." He paused and looked at Lou out of the corner of his eye. "He's willing to pay twice the price for our horses. And he will buy lots."

Kid exclaimed straight away. "So that's it!"

Louise shook her head repeatedly. "I won't hear of it. I don't care if he can pay us twice, three or four times the price. I won't sell any of my horses to that … that … ruffian."

"Why not?" Kid asked confused. He didn't understand why Louise had to do things so difficult sometimes.

"Why!" Lou exclaimed loudly. "He's a nasty, vicious, disgusting little …"

"Whoa, Louise," Kid cut her off, amused at her outburst. "I think I get the picture."

Louise did not find the situation funny at all and kept a serious stance. "I don't like the man. He's not a very honest businessman anyway if you ask me. And…" she paused hesitatingly.

"What?" Kid urged her to continue.

Louise turned her head to her old friend. "Buck, you know that Kid didn't want to have any dealings whatsoever with him."

Buck nodded in agreement, and Kid let out his breath annoyed. Then he looked at her straight in the eyes and said seriously, "I am Kid and now it's time to decide what's best for the business."

Lou glared at him and he stared at her firmly. "Either we let some men go or we sell horses to this McDowell. You decide, Louise. Or maybe you have some better ideas."

Lou looked down defeated and shook her head. "McDowell," she mumbled so low that Kid and Buck had to strain their ears to catch her words. Then she jumped to her feet and left without saying another word.

* * *

The sun had almost disappeared in the horizon, its last rays too weak to warm the cold atmosphere. Louise sat against a leafless tree, hugging her legs in an attempt to keep warm. Her eyes looking at the distance. This was her special place. In times of trouble she always found solace in this little spot. A place which brought her so many memories. A place she had shared with Kid. It was so peaceful and calm that she could stay for hours on end. A fallen twig creaked behind her and she jumped to her feet in no time. When her eyes caught sight of Kid, her fears faded away. She smiled at him and sank on the ground again.

"Sorry to disturb you," Kid apologized.

"You never do," Lou said and after a pause she asked, "How did you know where to find me?"

"Buck told me."

Her face fell. For a moment she had thought that in the back of his mind Kid had somehow known. "Seems my hideaway is popular knowledge," she mumbled annoyed. In that moment a cold breeze began to blow and on feeling its coldness Louise shivered. Kid quickly removed his jacket and wrapped it over Lou's body. He stayed crouched behind her, his face caressing hers softly. Lou smiled at his sweet gesture, her skin tingling at his closeness.

"Don't want my love to get cold," he whispered in her ear.

Louise cast him a timid smile, blushing at his words. Kid sank down next to her, his eyes glued to the horizon.

"You all right?" he asked seriously.

She nodded her head. Kid kept quiet for a few minutes and then he said, "You told me that I'm the only one for you, but frankly I'm beginning to have my doubts."

Louise turned her eyes to him with a puzzled expression. He looked at her straight in the eyes and continued. "I'm talking about Kid, that man you married six years ago, remember?" Louise still had no clue what he was talking about. "I grant you, you have a past with him, a past I can't share. God, of course I'm jealous, you don't know how much. And funny enough, he and I are the same person."

Lou kept her eyes lowered, feeling unable to utter a single word. Kid let out a deep sigh and added. "It's damn hard to fight a ghost."

Louise smiled wryly. Jimmy had told her exactly the same words when she had last seen him. She had been so angry with her friend for not understanding her, and now Kid was just saying the same. Maybe there was something wrong with her.

"Lou." She heard Kid call her name. She kept her eyes downcast and he gently placed his thumb under her chin and tilted her head towards him. "Lou, look at me, please," he urged her and she stared at him with a pained expression. "Why don't you and I forget a bit about the past and just look ahead?"

Louise nodded seriously and cried, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Oh, Kid, I'm so sorry."

"Don't," he hushed her by placing his finger gently on her lips. "No more talking. We're missing the sunset."

Lou smiled ruefully and turned her attention to the breathtaking scenery before them. "Ain't it beautiful!" Lou exclaimed.

Kid took her hand in his and whispered. "Never seen anything like it." He paused and then added in a whisper, "That's because you're here with me."

Louise smiled and let her head rest on his shoulders as they watched the last sunrays disappear behind the horizon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

As the days went by, Louise was beginning to feel on top of the world. She enjoyed every single minute that she spent with Kid. Everybody was still in the dark about their renewed relationship and she had never felt so free with him before. Even though she had to pretend indifference towards him during the day, she loved to be only his every night and in the moments they could sneak away from curious looks to be together, she didn't have to pretend with him. The fact that this new thing between them was their little secret made her feel closer to him. It reminded her when he had kept the secret of her true identity from everybody when they had first been in the Express. This time it was the same but their shared secret was dearer to her.

The past discrepancies they had had about their economic problems were just a distant memory. She had agreed to do business with McDowell as long as she didn't have to deal with the man directly. He would be coming to the ranch in a couple of weeks' time and Kid and Buck would take care of everything. She needn't even see him. Louise didn't like him at all. When she and Kid had first set up the ranch, McDowell had wanted to buy some horses from them. They had welcomed the first potential buyers warmly but they had been wrong about the man. He had behaved nastily, making snide remarks about everything and also about her. Back then Kid had got so angry that he had practically thrown the man out of the property. Later they had learnt that the man was a despicable piece of goods and there were rumors that he wasn't trustworthy. During the years McDowell had constantly tried to make her change her opinion and let him buy her horses. But Louise had always refused flatly to have any dealings with the man. She hadn't told Kid any of this because deep down she knew that selling horses to McDowell was the only way to overcome the rough patch they had at the moment. She just hoped that they didn't have any problems with him.

That day Louise was working in her little garden at the back of her house. To call it a garden was just an overstatement as the small back yard only contained a few flower pots and some bushes. The soil here wasn't good at all for growing any kind of plants. Lou had tried to lay out a lawn and some plants but she had failed miserably. She had always dreamt of having a beautiful garden but she had to make do with her flowerpots. At this time of year there wasn't much to do but she wanted to make sure that her plants were in good condition and beautiful flowers would blossom in the coming spring. Lou was watering some plants when she saw Rachel appear. She left the water can on the ground and waited for her friend.

"Hello!" Louise greeted her.

Rachel smiled at her and said sarcastically, "Are you all right today or are you planning to get rid of me as well?"

Louise did not dare to meet her friend's eyes and changed her expression to one of utter puzzlement. She understood that Rachel was annoyed and even angry with her. She hadn't behaved like a true friend lately. She had practically thrown Rachel out of her house with some lame excuse. The lunch Rachel had suggested had never taken place and Louise hadn't even bothered to go and see her. A couple of weeks had gone by since that day and it had been Rachel who had come all the way to see her. Lou felt terrible even though she had her reasons for her behavior.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Rachel," Lou said evasively.

"Well, I won't touch that," Rachel mused.

"Why don't we go inside?" Louise offered, feeling glad that Rachel had dropped the subject. She didn't want to lie to the older woman and she couldn't tell her the truth.

Inside the house Rachel sat at the drawing room table as Lou began preparing the tea. When it was ready, Louise brought the tea set on a tray to the table. She was serving the hot liquid to Rachel and herself when her friend asked her out of the blue, "How are things between you and Kid?"

Lou almost spilled some of the tea on hearing Rachel's question. What was she implying? Had she guessed the truth after Lou's peculiar behavior the other day? Was it that obvious?

Louise coughed nervously and muttered, "What do you mean, Rachel?"

"Well, I imagine it can't be a piece of cake to work with your husband under such peculiar circumstances, especially after what you two lived," Rachel explained.

"Oh." She shrugged her shoulders and added, "It's not so bad. We're getting on all right. Anyway, we're not husband and wife anymore." Rachel looked at her with a puzzled expression and Louise continued, "Our marriage is finally dissolved. Got the letter a few days ago."

"Oh Louise," Rachel exclaimed. She reached to hold Lou's hand affectionately. Her heart went out to her young friend. Rachel knew how much Louise had loved her husband. Even though her younger friend said that everything was all right, Rachel knew that she was hurting. She wanted to comfort her but seemed unable to find the right words to tell her.

Louise shrugged her shoulders in an attempt to play the matter down. She was feeling really uncomfortable with the conversation. Rachel sure expected her to appear somehow gloomy. Lou couldn't feign feeling unhappy when she was not. She might not be Kid's wife anymore but she was his woman in every sense.

The two women sipped their cups in silence and then Rachel asked,"Are you coming with us on Saturday?"

"Coming where?"

"To the social, silly," Rachel said teasingly. "We all are going. Will be nice. What do you say?"

"No, I don't think so," Lou answered thoughtfully as an idea was forming in her head. She tried to hide her pleasure from her friend. On Saturday when everybody was enjoying themselves in the social, Kid and she could have all the evening for themselves. They could have a nice dinner and spend some precious moments together.

"Why not?" Rachel's voice interrupted her train of thought.

"You know I never go," Lou answered stubbornly.

"If it's because of Kid, I've heard that her … that the woman is away," Rachel insisted.

"It's not that!" Lou snapped exasperated. What was all this sudden desire for her to go to the stupid dance? Of course it was because of Kid but for a whole different reason. She wanted Kid for herself that night. "It's just that I don't feel like going," she lied.

"As you wish," Rachel finally gave in. She had thought it would do her good to go to the social. Lou had suffered some hard blows lately. She had lost her husband; her sister wouldn't talk to her and a band of rustlers had attacked her ranch and killed one of the boys. So Rachel thought that a distraction would be welcoming. But it was difficult when Louise herself didn't let her friends help her.

Rachel had accepted to stay for lunch and give a hand to Louise. They left the house and crossed the yard towards the bunkhouse. On their way they came across Buck. "Hey, Buck," Lou greeted. Not seeing Kid anywhere she asked. "Where's Kid?" She cursed herself for not biting her tongue in time. She was always telling Kid that they should try to keep a low profile. She knew how nosey her friends could be. And now on the first occasion she was betraying herself.

"Mr. Pearson's boy brought him a note, and he rode off to town," Buck explained.

Lou couldn't control her curiosity and just had to ask. "A note? What about?" Realizing her mistake she hurried to add clumsily, "Uh … I mean if it's something to do with the ranch."

"I'm not sure, Lou, but I think it was something personal," Buck said.

"Oh," was all Lou could utter. She wondered what could have made Kid leave for town so unexpectedly. She really didn't know much about his life in the last years and Louise guessed that he might have some issues she didn't know anything about. She really couldn't imagine what it could be. Maybe it was just a silly thing and she was worrying for nothing. Why did she feel so scared? She had lost him on the way so many times that she was afraid that life would take him away from her again. But she told herself not to let her fears invade her whenever he went on an errand. "You're just being silly, Louise McCloud," she told herself silently.

* * *

Kid could not have been more surprised when he had got the note. It only contained five words: _"Please meet me in town"_and a name. He wondered what this was about. As soon as he had read the words, he had ridden to town. He hoped that he could deal with the matter quickly. He didn't want to have any kind of complications. A fear began to creep in. What if this could threaten his relationship with Louise? No, he wouldn't allow that. He wouldn't let anything or anybody make him lose Lou. He hadn't been so sure of anything in his life before.

Kid dismounted his horse slowly and tethered it to a nearby post. He took his time. He wasn't eager to meet her. He directed his steps towards the restaurant where he knew he'd find her. Kid spotted her straight away and made his way towards her. She hadn't noticed him as she kept looking out of the window. He stopped before her and the girl turned two bright eyes to him. She smiled at him and he just said, in a glum tone: "Hello, Alice."

* * *

Louise was sitting at the table in the bunkhouse, laughing at one of the wisecracks that one of the boys had said. Kid hadn't returned from town yet and even though she wanted to erase the worries from her mind, they kept popping up. She and Rachel had served the lunch around the crowded table and now they were enjoying the delicious meat Rachel had helped her to prepare.

The door opened and Lou looked up, smiling in anticipation. But her face fell as she realized that it was just another one of the boys. It was Tony. They had hired him after Jamie's death.

"I thought I would miss lunch," he said.

Louise got up to get a plate for the boy and served him a big chunk of meat. Immediately the boy began bolting down the food. With his mouth still full he continued talking: "This is just a piece of heaven. Can I have seconds?"

Rachel smiled inwardly. These boys reminded her so much of those ones who not long ago had occupied this same room. She supposed that boys would always be boys no matter the circumstances.

"No, sir, you can't." Rachel said. "That steak is for Kid. And for God's sake, swallow your food before opening your mouth, boy."

Tony shrugged his shoulders, not bothering about Rachel's scolding. He grinned mischievously. "I don't think he'll eat his meat, though. Saw him in town," he winked at his other friends around the table. "… and in very good company."

Louise turned her whole attention to the boy and just asked straight away, not caring how she might sound, "A lady?"

"Yeah," the boy answered, "and what a lady! A pretty little thing. Heck, he must be in seventh heaven. If only I was as lucky to find a fair-haired angel like her …" Tony was a chatterbox and began gabbing on. As he hadn't been working at the ranch for long, he really wasn't aware of the past problems between his employers. Not one of the other boys would have dreamt to talk about the boss's love matters in front of Miss Louise. They were throwing daggers at the boy but he seemed unable to grasp their hints.

"It must be Alice, his girl," Buck said gravely.

"Wow, he's a heck of a lucky guy," the boy exclaimed.

"Not as lucky as you," Rachel added annoyed. The boy was driving her crazy with his inopportune remarks. She got up and picking up the pot, she thumped down the rest of the meat on his plate heavily. "You can have his steak. Now eat and keep your mouth shut."

Louise had gone white at hearing the boy speak. What was Kid doing with that woman? He had told her that they had broken up. Had he lied to her? She couldn't believe that, but then why? Why had he gone and met her? She had thought that the woman had left town for good. Buck had told her that as soon as Kid had read the note, he had ridden off. Was he that eager to see her? Was he having second thoughts about them? Maybe he regretted their break-up and wanted to make up. But why hadn't he talked directly to her instead of calling that woman? In a way, Louise considered that she herself was practically a stranger to him. He didn't have any kind of recollections of her before now. However, Kid had known this girl for over two years. It was logical that he just turned to her when doubts assaulted him, especially now that he was a free man.

Lou cursed him and cursed herself for falling for him again. Their whole story had been full of ups and downs. Theresa had been right. Their relationship hadn't been a haven of peace. They had argued a lot but that never had meant they didn't love each other. She had never doubted her love for him even when they hadn't been together. And back then she had also been sure that Kid loved her. But now she wasn't sure anymore. Even though she felt she knew all of him, in a way Kid was a stranger to her. Louise had constantly repeated that he wasn't the same man. It had been just an excuse to resign herself. But now Lou wondered if she had been right after all.

Nobody seemed to notice the turmoil she was feeling inside. Somebody had changed the subject and all of them were talking amicably. But she kept quiet. She didn't feel like talking, she didn't feel like anything. She just wanted to hide away and cry her eyes out.

* * *

In town Kid wasn't having a good time either. He felt awkward as he sat opposite Alice, listening to her string of empty words. He couldn't keep quiet any longer and blurted out, "Why are you here, Alice?"

The seriousness in his voice caught the girl off guard. "Well," she began awkwardly," I came to see you."

"And?" Kid urged her to talk.

"David, I've been thinking things over and it's not right. We should give ourselves another opportunity. We just made a rash decision."

Kid couldn't believe what she was saying. He hadn't expected this from Alice at all. After the way they had broken up, he was sure that she understood that things had changed. After all, she had been the one who had decided to break up. He shook his head. "Alice, you know it can't be."

"I know you're not married to that woman any more. You're a free man," she insisted stubbornly.

"Alice, I'm with Louise," Kid said. He couldn't let her think that things could be the same between the two of them.

"It didn't take you long to replace me!" Alice cried furiously.

"I didn't replace anybody." Kid was getting angrier by the minute. She didn't have any right to come here and demand an explanation. Their relationship had been over and he had never tried to hurt her feelings.

"I guess she's giving you what I didn't," Alice blustered spitefully.

Her words ignited his anger. Alice was tarnishing something as beautiful as his love for Louise with her harmful comments. He couldn't stay here any longer and listen to her. He rose to his feet and staring at her purposely he bellowed: "Leave me alone!"

He was heading towards the exit when the girl called his name. "David!" Kid turned around and she whispered sincerely. "I'm sorry."

Kid kept looking at her but didn't move. Alice tried to smile but failed to do so. Then she said. "Please!" She motioned for him to sit again. "Let's talk … as friends."

Kid looked her straight in the eyes and said, "There's nothing to talk about ... and my name's Kid," he added before making his way out.

* * *

After his disastrous meeting with Alice, the day had dragged. Kid was eager to see Lou. Alice had left him uneasy, with a sense of awkwardness and he just felt the need to see Louise and hold her in his arms. But it seemed that the end of the day was taking its time to show up. He hadn't been able to catch sight of her at all during the day.

Dinner time came and she hadn't been in the bunkhouse either as usual. Apparently she had a headache and they had to improvise something to eat for dinner. Finally, the boys went to bed one by one and when Kid was sure that they were fast asleep, he sneaked out of the bunkhouse to meet Louise. He was surprised when from the distance he saw the drawing room all lit-up. Usually she waited for him in the bedroom. She left the front door unlocked for him and he could slip inside, but she had never waited up for him in the drawing room. He wondered why she'd be up to so late.

He climbed the few steps to the house and tried to open the front door. Surprisingly, she had locked it and he had to knock. He called her name as well. After a few moments Kid heard somebody coming and the door opened. Louise appeared before him. Her head was covered with some kind of rag and she was holding a duster in her hand.

"What are you doing up so late?" Kid asked bemused. He tried to kiss her but she just turned around and walked inside, Kid following in her tracks.

"Cleaning," she answered curtly. Her tone was serious and cold.

Her coldness didn't go unnoticed by Kid. "At this time of the night?" Kid exclaimed, trying to cheer her up.

Lou turned round and stared at him directly. Kid could see that she didn't look very happy. She folded her arms defensively and kept quiet. She looked as if she wanted to kick him hard.

"Something wrong, Lou?" Kid asked, visibly worried.

"You tell me," she said coldly.

"I have no idea what you mean," he muttered sincerely.

"Oh, have you forgotten this too? Poor Kid!" she talked sarcastically. "You'd better keep a diary to record your daily movements, my friend. You know, what you do, who you see…"

Now it dawned on Kid why she was so angry. Somebody must have known and told her about his meeting with Alice. He really understood Lou now when she had told him about people meddling. Somebody's big mouth had got him into trouble and worst of all; they were fighting over something so unimportant. Kid approached her and tried to take hold of her hand but she pushed him away.

"Don't touch me!" she shouted furiously.

"Lou, please," Kid tried to appease her.

"I don't like being cheated!" Louise continued in the same angered tone.

"I never cheated on you!" Kid said. "You know I would never do anything to harm you." His eyes were begging her to believe him.

His words calmed her a bit but she still looked at him with suspicious eyes.

"Please, Lou," he insisted. "Nothing happened. Trust me."

"I don't know," Lou said coldly. She wanted to believe him but deep inside she was scared stiff. She had suffered so many disappointments that she was weary. She was tired of this never-ending game.

Kid let out an audible sigh. He hadn't had a very easy day and Lou's stubbornness was getting at him. He didn't think he had the strength to try to convince her. It was her option whether she wanted to believe him or not. Kid just exclaimed, exasperated for her attitude, "For God's sake, Lou, stop this childish jealousy."

His words blew her top and infuriated Louise even more than she was. She began flicking him on his arm with the duster she was still holding. "Childish! Childish!" she shouted furiously at the top of her voice. Then Lou grabbed him by the collar fiercely. "Listen to me!" Kid was surprised by her reaction and stared at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. "Listen to me!" Lou repeated. "I choked back my tears as I saw you leaving my side to fight a goddamned war only a few months after getting married. I waited for your return day after day, month after month, year after year. The war ended and there was no sign of you yet. No letters, nothing. Just an incredible emptiness. But I still waited and waited and waited. Everybody assumed you were dead but I still waited. People thought I was out of my mind and I really didn't care. I just knew you would come back to me. And then, one day, you show up out of the blue. No memory, another woman." She paused, her voice was trembling. "You can't imagine the hell my life has been in the last few years! So don't you dare judge me!" she pushed him away forcefully and scampered up the stairs towards the bedroom.

Kid stayed rooted to the spot. He felt like such an idiot right now. He had never given any thought to what he had put Lou through even unwillingly. He knew that it wasn't his fault entirely. He hadn't chosen to be wounded and lose the memories of her completely. Fate had played a dirty trick on them and now he felt he owed her an apology for his insensitive words and for all his actions. Right now he needed her forgiveness more than anything. He couldn't make up to her for all the lost years but he swore to himself that he would never let Louise McCloud down ever again.

Kid began climbing the stairs slowly and when he reached her bedroom, he knocked lightly, hesitantly. He got no answer and knocked again, this time calling her name as well. Nothing. He tried the door and surprisingly it opened. Lou hadn't locked it. He opened the door tentatively. Furious as Lou was, it wouldn't surprise him to find an avalanche of objects flying towards him or at least hear her shouts. But he was wrong. He spotted her sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the window opposite her. She hadn't bothered to light a single lamp and Kid had to strain his eyes to make out her figure in the moonlight. Kid approached her and sat beside her on the bed. She didn't move a muscle or say a word. By her actions anybody would have thought that Lou wasn't even aware of Kid's presence next to her.

"I'm really sorry, Lou," Kid said sincerely. "I wish I could erase all my mistakes but I can't. I never meant to harm you. And … nothing happened with Alice, I swear, Lou. She just turned up out of the blue. But she won't bother us again, honest."

Lou listened to him silently and knew that he was telling the truth. But her pride wouldn't let her give in so easily. She wanted him to feel the way she had. She had felt so lonely and lost since her fears had invaded her this afternoon. She knew that she had overreacted but she couldn't help the way she felt. Despite the sincerity she heard in Kid's words she didn't even look at him. She just kept a proud stance.

Kid was getting nowhere and her lack of response infuriated and scared him. He didn't want to lose her. Louise wasn't being fair with him. He hadn't done anything wrong. "For God's sake, Lou, I love you," he almost shouted.

This time she turned her head to him and just whispered: "Really?" Her voice almost faltering.

Kid brought his hand to her face and brushed her cheek tenderly. "Of course, baby. Oh God, I love you so much."

Louise smiled and tears began trickling down her face freely. "I just don't want to lose you again," she said with a trembling voice.

"You won't," Kid said self-assuredly. "I promise."

Lou threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She let him comfort her. "We will always be together," Kid whispered in her ear and she felt her fears fade away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Are you really sure?" April asked for the umpteenth time. They were in the middle of the yard, ready to leave for the social. The girl had donned her new blue dress and had combed her beautiful long black hair up in a bun. She had been pestering Louise all day, insisting that she should come to the town social with her and Buck. Lou's answer had been the same, a negative one, over and over again but April didn't seem to give up.

Lou rolled her eyes and said: "I'm sure I'd rather stay. I've told you a thousand times. You know I never go." Louise just wished they'd go soon. She was looking forward to a whole evening for her and Kid alone. Since those days they had spent together at Christmas, they hadn't had the opportunity to enjoy more romantic moments. Yeah, they spent almost every night together, but she missed having the time to chat and have a couple of laughs. Thankfully today was the perfect day. Nobody would be around. That is, if April finally dropped the matter and went.

"But now is different," April continued stubbornly. Lou looked at her with a perplexed expression, not understanding what she meant. "You're a free woman now," April added. "I understood your objections before, being a married woman. But now you need to move on with your life, you know, meet a nice man."

Buck was annoyed at his wife's bluntness and insistence. "April!" he scolded her.

Louise found April's frankness very sweet. Any time before she would have been really irritated for any interference and meddling, but now she didn't care. She was in love and her man loved her back. What else could she ask for? She didn't care what anybody could say any more. Louise laughed heartily at April's words. She hugged her friend briefly still laughing.

"I know being a twenty-four hour mother can grow on you," Lou teased her, "but, honestly, April, I don't need a ma. Why don't you just enjoy this beautiful evening with your husband? Make the most of your free time now that the kids are with Mrs. Johnson." Lou took her friend by the arm and steered her towards the wagon in spite of her protests.

"Come on, honey," Buck said. "Let's leave Lou alone." He helped his wife, who was still moaning, onto the buckboard.

Louise waved them good-bye and watched till the wagon disappeared from sight. She sighed, now she was relieved. For a moment she had thought they would never leave without her. April had been so insistent that Lou had found it hard to resist her attacks. She didn't know what was eating April with this persistence. Fortunately, they were gone and she would be able to enjoy herself some as well. Kid would be here at any time so Lou dashed into her house. She wanted the evening to be special. She had to remove her grubby clothes. She had bought a new dress for the occasion as she wanted to look her best for Kid. Just for him.

* * *

All the way to town Buck had patiently listened to his wife's never-ending ramblings. She wasn't very happy with leaving Lou behind all alone. Buck understood her. They would all feel better if Louise could make a break with her past and find some happiness. She could act all cool and pretend that she was getting on with Kid superbly. No strings attached. But Buck wasn't a fool. He had noticed the looks Lou threw Kid when she thought nobody was paying attention. Buck was sure Lou hadn't overcome the past. April was right. Lou needed to start anew but Buck knew that they couldn't force her. When the right time came, Buck was sure Lou wouldn't hesitate.

They made their way into the local building. April was still protesting and Buck had opted for nodding to everything she said. But he feared that he'd have to endure her grumbles all evening. It wouldn't be as he had planned. He had tried hard to find someone to look after the children while they were gone. He needed some time alone with his wife. And now that they could be by themselves, April didn't seem to be in her best mood. Among the people they caught sight of was Rachel who was sipping some punch. On seeing them the older woman waved at them. April and Buck approached and greeted her.

"No luck?" Rachel asked.

April shook her head and Buck exclaimed: "So it was also your idea, this unbearable hounding of Lou!"

Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "It's for her own good."

"I know," Buck conceded.

Rachel sighed and added, "I saw Kid on my way here. He was going to meet some fella."

"Oh yeah," Buck agreed. "He's going to be shown some property. The guy is selling it."

"What fella?" Rachel asked.

"Dunno. Never asked."

Rachel sighed again. "So he's planning to get married?"

"Well, he's not a married man any more," Buck said. "I guess it is just a logical step."

Rachel nodded in agreement and suddenly April blurted out. "So he's not coming!"

Two confused pairs of eyes turned to her and she repeated, "He's not coming here!" She paused a second to gather her thought and then she continued. "I'm sure Lou just feels intimidated by him. And I know that if she knew he's not showing up, she would come, ain't I right?"

Buck looked skeptical. "I don't know, April."

"I know I am," April said stubbornly, paying no heed to her husband. "Buck, you can go back to the ranch and make her come."

"I'm doing no such a thing!" Buck refused flatly. "April, why don't you just let her be?"

"Honey, she will listen to you, she always does" April said. "For goodness' sake she's a young woman and lives like a ninety-year-old one!"

"April is right," Rachel added encouragingly. "She trusts you and she will listen to you."

Buck wasn't convinced at all. He wouldn't let them talk him into their crazy ideas. He wouldn't go meddling in Lou's affairs. He would stand his ground. "I'm not going and that's final!" Buck said without a doubt.

* * *

Kid waited on the porch for Louise to open the door. He was grinning from ear to ear. He missed having more moments like tonight. He would like to court Lou properly but with this idea of hers of keeping it secret she wouldn't let him. They were practically living as husband and wife but she wouldn't let him move in with her either till they could get married again. Sometimes she would make him feel dizzy and he found it difficult to follow her lead. But other than that life with her was blissful.

The door opened and a very smiling Louise appeared before his eyes. Kid stared at her in amazement. She had never looked so beautiful. He stretched out his hand to give her the flowers he had brought for her.

"Flowers for my rose," he said gallantly.

Lou took them and exclaimed: "Why, thank you!"

"You look beautiful tonight," Kid whispered.

Lou looked at him in the eyes boldly and added. "You don't look too bad either." She laughed and hugged him for a few moments. Then she asked: "Everything all right?"

Kid nodded his head and remembered the way he had lied to Rachel. Lou had insisted that they shouldn't raise any suspicions if he didn't turn up at the social. So she had come up with the ideal excuse herself. He had to tell the story to Buck and then he had to purposely come across Rachel and repeat the same lies. Louise had said that they wouldn't ask too many questions and Kid had to admit that she had been right.

"You seem very happy today," Kid remarked.

"Uh huh," Lou agreed. "I've got reasons to be. First, I love you," she kissed him on the lips lightly and continued. "… and I got a letter from Theresa."

"Your sister?" Kid asked surprised.

"That's right," she answered. "Finally, she replied to my letters."

"I didn't know you were writing to her."

"You wouldn't think I'd stay idle while my little sister disappeared from my life?" Lou asked.

"I guess not," he said. "And what did she say?"

"Well, she apologized and apparently, the boy's parents are sorry for their unacceptable behavior," she adopted a stiff accent and giggled. "Anyway, everything's back to normal. They're getting married in about ninety days and I have a wedding to prepare!"

"I'm really glad," Kid said sincerely.

"That letter really made my day. I'm so happy."

"And I'm happy 'cause you're happy," Kid said flirtingly and leaned over to kiss her fully on her mouth. When the kiss ended, she mused breathlessly. "Let's have some dinner."

Buck cursed himself. How had he let them convince him? He had stood his ground but somewhere somehow he had come to agree with them. And what's more, he had apparently agreed to come all the way to the ranch to talk to Lou. He had to convince her to come down with him to the stupid social. Ha, little job he had. Buck didn't doubt for one second that he would succeed in persuading her. Lou had clearly stated that she wouldn't go and Buck didn't think he would do much to change her mind. But apparently his wife had proved to be more stubborn than Lou herself.

This was just crazy. Why make so much trouble about a silly thing like this? They hadn't worried so much on other occasions when Lou had done the same thing, stay at home. And there would be other socials in the future where Lou might agree to go. Buck suspected that his adorable wife and Rachel had an ace up their sleeve. That interest was just out of the ordinary.

He got off the wagon and dragged himself towards Lou's house. He wasn't eager at all to talk to her. He had been friends with Lou long enough to know that she would send him packing straightaway. There was no doubt. Buck could see that the drawing room was lit, so he imagined that Louise hadn't gone to bed yet. She must be having dinner, he thought. He stepped on the porch noiselessly. He was about to knock on the door but something just stopped him. He stayed there for a few minutes as if listening to something. Then he turned round and made his way back to the wagon. He urged the horses forward, towards town and never saw a lone rider stopping his horse just on the same spot and making his way towards the house.

* * *

Lou felt that she was enjoying the evening even more that she had first thought. Kid had brought a bottle of wine, but this time she promised herself not to drink as much as the last time. She had got so drunk but it had been a glorious happening even though she had felt unwell all the next day. In a way it had brought Kid to her. But tonight she wanted to enjoy his company fully. She really felt already a bit tipsy as she wasn't used to drinking but that would be it.

They sat down at the table to taste the meal Lou had been preparing that afternoon. Louise was laughing at something Kid had said when there was a knock at the door.

"Who the hell…? Lou cursed, visibly annoyed at this inopportune interruption.

"Lou…" Kid scolded her and she rolled her eyes, irritated. She rose to her feet and dragged herself towards the front door.

"Who is it?" she called brusquely without opening the door.

"Louise, it's John," a masculine voice answered behind the door.

Lou turned her eyes to Kid, who had stayed at the table, with a puzzled expression. "Who?" she said aloud, having no clue who was on her porch.

"Uh…" she heard the man hesitate. "It's Captain John Hoskins."

She looked at Kid with an expression of total disgust, which made Kid chuckle. She ran to him and whispered: "Get in the kitchen. I'll get rid of him."

Kid didn't protest as he knew that it would be useless. When Louise checked that Kid was nowhere to be seen, she opened the door.

"Captain, what a surprise," she said, not very happily.

The man appeared before her, a smile plastered on his face. He was holding a bunch of flowers and handed them to Lou. "For you," he just said.

Lou took the flowers abruptly and didn't bother to express her thanks. "Well?" she didn't waste any time. She was feeling really annoyed by the captain's sudden appearance.

"I'm glad to find you home, Louise," the captain said. "You look stunning."

Lou was losing her patience and she snapped. "To the point, please."

The captain was taken aback by her brusqueness. The few times he had seen Louise she had been formal but kind. But her attitude was almost rude. He fumbled to find the words. "Uh … I just came … Uh," he paused and then he added courteously. „I'd be honored it you let me escort you to the dance."

Lou shook her head. "Sorry but no."

"Oh," the man tried to hide his disappointment. "I see, well, maybe next time."

She wouldn't let him think that he was welcome to try again. "There won't be a next time, John."

"But…" he tried to talk but she wouldn't let him.

"I'm just not interested in you," she said frankly. "Sorry."

Her sincerity didn't put him off. "Louise, we just need to get to know each other. If you let me," he insisted.

"I just don't want to get to know you," she spat out and realizing she had been too hard, she muttered, "Sorry." She kept silent for a moment and then she added. "The first time I saw my husband I knew I wanted him. It took me less than a minute to know."

The man nodded in understanding. He smiled ruefully and added. "I guess it took me as long when I first saw you."

Lou looked at him sadly. She hadn't meant to be so explicit, but she couldn't encourage him any further. "I'm sorry," she said.

"I guess I should be on my way," the captain muttered. He tilted his head to Louise and took his leave.

Lou closed the door behind him and Kid came out of the kitchen. He approached her and said: "Gosh, Lou. I'm glad you never turned me down. You're terrible. Poor man!"

She looked at him and said nothing. He smiled and added teasingly. "So you wanted me the first time you saw me?"

She looked at him with a wry expression and had to admit it reluctantly: "I guess so." She kept quiet for a moment and chuckled. "Gosh, I never told anyone before."

"You mean that you never told the old Kid?" he asked, feeling pleased with himself.

She nodded her head and Kid beamed gleefully. "So I know something that he didn't?"

Lou giggled. Sometimes he was just like a small kid. He had this crazy competition with the person he had been but didn't remember. It was just ridiculous. He was just the same person even though she had used the same argument as a blockade to her grief.

Kid sobered up, took hold of her hands and looked at her straight in the eyes. "I'd like to know everything he knew, Lou."

She looked away and tried to put him off. "What for? There's no point."

"Lou…"

"Some things just aren't nice to tell or to hear." She warned him.

Kid cupped her face in his hand and made her look at him. "I want to know everything. Good and bad moments, laughs, cries, every single thing we shared. Just everything," he insisted.

Lou was about to protest again. She didn't want to go over things that had caused her serious heartache. She'd rather bury them deep down and never talk about them. But Kid's seriousness got to her. He had been patient and never pushed her when she had refused to answer his questions. She breathed in deeply and said: "All right, then."

* * *

In town Rachel and April were still waiting for Buck to return from his errand. The town hall was crammed with people. The music filled the atmosphere and everybody seemed to be having a great time. Couples were dancing; single girls, dressed in their best, gathered in groups sharing confidences whereas the least bold boys tried to find the courage to ask a girl for a dance.

Rachel had danced a few tunes with several local men, but April just waited for her man. The two women hoped that Buck could persuade Lou to come. They hadn't told Buck but they just wanted to introduce Louise to a very particular man. Rachel had met him in Tompkins' store and she had thought that he would be perfect for her friend. His name was Andrew Barret and he had just moved to the town. He was older than Louise but Rachel thought that an experienced man would be a good change for her friend. He was handsome, intelligent and had a small ranch like Lou. He was a widower. He had lost his wife just recently. Rachel thought that he and Louise had so much in common. Lou just needed someone to push her away from Kid.

Both women were eager for Lou to meet this man. Rachel had talked to April and the girl had agreed with her straight away. Mr Barret had mentioned to Rachel that he would be at the social. Lou just had to come. This was the best place to introduce her to the man. Lou didn't come down to town very often as she was busy all week. The man also had his own share of worries. Moreover, not knowing when he would be in town Rachel couldn't arrange another unsuspicious meeting. No, Lou had to be here. Mr Barret hadn't shown up yet but Rachel knew that he would. She hoped that when he did, Lou would be with them.

In that moment they saw Buck making his way through the people. They strained their eyes to catch any sight of Lou, but to their chagrin they didn't see her anywhere. When he reached the two women, April didn't waste any time. "Well?"

Buck shook his head and April snorted disappointed.

"What did she actually say?" Rachel asked.

"Well," Buck hesitated, "I didn't talk to her."

"What!" both women exclaimed in unison, clearly irritated.

"Hey, hold your horses!" Buck tried to explain himself. "I went there but …"

"What?" April urged him.

"She wasn't alone." Buck said.

"You mean a man?" Rachel asked stunned and Buck nodded.

"A man!" April repeated dazzled. "But who?"

"Dunno." Her husband answered. "I was about to knock at the door when I clearly heard her and a male voice. Whose? I can't tell."

"She's seeing someone!" Rachel exclaimed pleased.

"But she never said anything!" April protested. "Are you sure, Buck?" And then a horrible idea struck her. "What if it's a bandit, some kind of raider? What if she's in danger?"

Buck chuckled at his wife's imagination. "April, she was laughing and in all the time I've known Lou, she never called any thieves 'my love'".

Rachel laughed gleefully and realization struck her for the first time in weeks, "That's why she's been acting real strange lately."

"But she hasn't told us," April whined.

"She might have her reasons," Buck offered.

"I wonder who the man is," Rachel said thoughtfully.

"I really can't tell. I didn't hear him very well from the porch," Buck explained. "It might be someone we don't even know."

The three of them fell into silence, considering this unexpected piece of information. In that moment Buck saw a familiar face among the crowd.

"Hey, Hoskins," Buck greeted the captain and the man approached them.

"Mr Cross. Ladies," the captain greeted.

"Enjoying the evening?" Buck asked.

The captain felt quite awkward after his conversation with Louise. He had been hopeful that he could have possibilities with her. But he had been completely wrong. She had been clear about it, and now he really felt uncomfortable with her friends.

"Sort of," the captain answered. Then he hesitated, unsure what to say. "Been to the ranch to see if Louise could come to the dance with me. Well, she was busy. Maybe next time," he couldn't meet their eyes. He didn't know why he had to bring up his visit to Louise. They wouldn't have guessed anyway. He was just a fool and he was feeling more awkward by the minute.

Buck and the two ladies looked at him with surprised expressions. "You mean you were at the ranch about half an hour ago?" Rachel asked.

The man just nodded, not understanding why the question. "I'd better join my fellow officers," the captain said and left them.

The three of them looked mesmerized after the captain and April expressed what they were all thinking, "Oh, God, it's him! The man Lou is seeing!"

Rachel wasn't completely sure and said," I don't know, April. I talked to her a few days ago and she just mentioned how she thought the man was a complete bore."

April had no doubts whatsoever. "I just think our friend is a bit sly. She was just trying to mislead you," April explained, sure of what she was talking about. "Didn't you see how awkward he looked? He kept his eyes downcast the whole time; clearly he was lying. And I also noticed a certain irritation in his voice. He sure can't be pleased with having to come here officially and leaving Lou behind."

April had been quick and right to perceive the captain's mood, but what she didn't know was that the reason for his sullen mood was quite different. Buck said teasingly, "Wow, April, I didn't know I had married a detective."

She looked at her husband annoyed and wheezed, "Stop fooling around. I am right, ain't I?"

Rachel peered at Captain Hoskins who was on the other side of the room with his fellow soldiers. She had to admit that April had a point. He really looked quite grim and seemed to be uncomfortable while his fellow soldiers were talking amicably. Rachel turned her attention to April and said, "I guess you're right." The two women looked at each other for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. "He's such a good catch," Rachel exclaimed among giggles.

"Oh I'm so glad for her," April twittered. "It was high time."

Rachel nodded in agreement. She had always had the hope that Louise and Kid could finally make up. Rachel had thought that working together and seeing each other daily would stoke those feelings that she knew lay dormant in Kid. But Rachel had finally come to the conclusion that it was just sheer fantasy. Things between those two had changed and it seemed that however much she wished it, their lives had gone different ways. It pained Rachel terribly but unfortunately it was the harsh reality. Nothing was left of the young couple that had promised each other everlasting love. Kid just saw Lou in much the same light as he might see April. So Rachel felt pleased to know that Louise was beginning to find some happiness for herself. The captain seemed quite a decent man. He was handsome and, as far as Rachel had been able to grasp, the man seemed sensible and intelligent.

"I just hope she feels happy too," Rachel voiced her doubts. "I really hope she hasn't turned to the man out of spite. I'll have a few words with her."

Buck had been silent, listening to the women speak, but hearing Rachel's words, he said, "You'll do no such a thing."

"Why not?" Rachel asked surprised.

"We're not supposed to know a thing," Buck reminded them. "So not a single word. Understood, April?" Buck turned to his wife purposely. He knew her too well and was sure that she wasn't keen on keeping secrets. Buck wondered if he should have kept the thing all for himself. Lou had a right to do things her way and nobody should interfere, even though they meant well.

"Hey!" April exclaimed offended. "Of course I won't say a word."

Rachel also expressed her agreement reluctantly. She felt protective of Lou and she would like to be sure that everything was all right. But Buck was right and Lou would turn to her when she needed a friend.

"Fine," Buck said. "We just found out by accident. Lou will tell us when she's ready." He paused and exclaimed. "Gosh, I'm thirsty." The evening had been quite eventful with this coming and going to the ranch. This wasn't the romantic night he had planned to spend with April. "I'll grab us some drinks," he said to the girls and headed for the table at the other end of the room where the punch bowl was.

April and Rachel were left alone and for a few minutes neither spoke. Then April looked at her friend mischievously and said, "He made us promise not to say a word, but he never said we couldn't try to make her talk up."

Rachel burst out laughing at her friend's words and just said, "Oh April, you're terrible."

* * *

It was late. Louise lay in her bed wide awake. Kid had gone long ago and she had heard the boys return from town. The tick of the big clock in the dining room resounded in the silence of the night. Louise had heard it chime at every hour. Now it was three o'clock in the morning but still Lou couldn't sleep. Her mind was in a jumble.

Thinking back about the evening Louise smiled bitterly. She had the time of her life with Kid. They had had such laughs and he had been so sweet. It had been such a romantic evening. But then Kid had wanted to know everything about their past and reluctantly she had agreed to comply. She had been an idiot for not telling before, for her reluctance to this heart-to-heart conversation. She felt that now it had brought them closer. She had told him about everything and about everybody. Lou had begun talking about when they had first met, how he had found she was a girl and kept her secret, how their life had been while working for the Pony Express, how all of them had come to feel like a family. Kid had smiled shyly when she told him about the first kisses, their first time, their moments together and his proposal, but he had pulled a long face when she talked about the way she had felt crowded with his over protectiveness, which had led to their break up. They had cried together when she had told him about his brother's death, her father's and even his friend Doritha's. She hadn't kept anything from him. The hardest part was when she had to tell Kid about Wicks and what he had done to her. It had been the second time she had to tell him and this time it hadn't been easier. Kid had reacted in much the same way as she remembered he had the first time. He had been furious and powerless. Lou had never felt comfortable when talking about this delicate moment in her life. It hadn't been an easy decision when she had first opted for telling Kid. And definitely, repeating the story hadn't been less hard. But she knew that she had to tell him and in a way it had brought her a sense of inner peace. Now Kid really knew who she was, who he was, what they had lived and shared. That's what he had wanted and that's exactly what he'd got. She had told him everything.

Louise cringed at her own thoughts. Her own mind betrayed her. She was lying to herself. She hadn't been completely sincere with him. She had kept something from Kid, something that she knew she should have told him. But Lou still felt unable to talk about it. Even after all these years she couldn't even think about it, much less to tell him. She didn't really understand why she felt like this. Surely Kid wouldn't blame her. It hadn't been her fault, had it? She didn't know what to think any more. She had been so shattered back then and she couldn't even come to mention the whole thing. She had managed to get over Wicks and the atrocity he had done to her, but Louise felt blocked and numbed with the matter she had hushed up. She knew that it might have happened to anybody, but it had happened to her and she still felt terrible. And now fear was haunting her. What if her suspicions were true? She wondered. She had tried to disregard them, not to think about it. It just couldn't be. But she couldn't avoid the truth. She would have to tell Kid eventually, which is why she cursed herself.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

The morning after the social Louise had pleasantly welcomed the first rays of sun, which meant that the night was over. She had not been able to sleep a wink and she feared that the day would be hard and long. She needed to erase a particular thought from her mind. She hadn't thought about it for a long time and it was haunting her, especially now. Lou knew that she should have told Kid. He had a right to know and eventually she would have to tell him. Maybe he would blame her for keeping this from him but she couldn't tell him right now.

In the morning Kid came to her and asked her if she was all right. He was still worried about her after making her relive some moments of her past. Lou felt warm at his sweet concern. He really cared for her and the thought made any dark clouds disappear. Lou told him that she was fine. It was true. She was all right, there wasn't anything else to say. Yet, right now she had a splitting headache after the sleepless night.

Rachel showed up at the ranch just after lunch. Lou had planned to take a nap but she had to call it off. She could not send her friend away after the way she had lately behaved towards Rachel. She hadn't acted as a true friend. Louise welcomed her friend's visit heartily. Since things with Kid had rekindled, Lou didn't seem to have time for anything but for work and … well … Kid. They had been together now for a month and a half and Lou acknowledged that she had neglected her friends, especially her good friend Rachel.

In all these years without Kid all her friends, especially Rachel, had been there for her. Rachel had left Rock Creek to be near her on the first opportunity. Lou knew that her friend had enjoyed being a teacher in Rock Creek so much. The older woman just loved to teach and be surrounded by children. However, she had left it and had come all the way to Sweetwater when Lou had needed her. Louise couldn't begin to thank her enough. In the hard moments Rachel had always been by her side and many a time Lou had begged her to stay with her overnight on those bleak nights when everything seemed dark to her. After her siblings had left, the house felt so cold and empty, which made Louise miss Kid so much more than when they had been with her. Rachel had been there, for bad and good, no matter what. Lou felt so lucky to have Rachel as her best friend. She was more than that, she was family.

Louise would like to be sincere and talk her heart to Rachel. She had always told everything to the older woman. Rachel would be the first one to feel elated about her and Kid when she learned the truth, but Lou couldn't tell her yet. She just didn't want to raise false hopes. What if things with Kid didn't turn out as she expected? Now they couldn't be better but it was still too soon to say. Lou didn't want to feel everybody's sorry looks again. She really hated that. If things eventually didn't work out between her and Kid, she would face her pain alone. She knew that everybody meant well, that they really cared. But she'd rather be alone in her pain than feel their pity. She just didn't need anybody's compassion.

Not long after Rachel had turned up at Lou's place, April appeared. So the three of them enjoyed some refreshments on Lou's porch. The day was clear and sunny. It was the middle of February and cold winter days seemed to be taking their leave, making way for the desired spring. Louise felt relaxed and was really enjoying this break with the girls despite her headache and lack of sleep.

"How was the social?" Louise asked, sincerely interested in their answer.

Rachel shrugged her shoulders in indifference. "As usual," she said.

April was grinning broadly and added, "Well, our dear friend here hogged the attention of a certain gentleman."

Louise turned two excited eyes to Rachel, who had a neutral expression. "Really? Who?"

April didn't let Rachel open her mouth as she hurried to fill Louise in. "A Mr. Barrett. He's new in town. I tell you, Lou, he's completely besotted with this lady here."

Both girls burst out laughing whereas Rachel just kept a serious stance. April was right. As soon as Mr. Barret had appeared at the social, he had lavished all kinds of attention on Rachel. He had never left her side all night. The man couldn't be misunderstood, especially when he had clearly hinted at Rachel that she was the kind of woman he was looking for. Rachel didn't dislike the man, quite the opposite, but she hadn't expected this. She had thought that the man would be perfect for Louise.

Rachel hadn't given much thought to her love life since her husband had died. Of course men had approached her with romantic propositions, but she just hadn't given them any thought. She was just not interested. She had even reached the conclusion that there wouldn't be any other man. Henry had been her perfect match. But what was so different in Mr. Barret that made her think? Maybe it was that he reminded Rachel of Henry. Andrew Barnet was polite, considerate, easy to talk to and had a fine sense of humor. It wasn't such a crazy notion that Rachel would feel at ease with him. Yet, she wouldn't talk about it now, especially when there wasn't anything. She wasn't even sure. So she tried to deviate the girls' attention to something else.

"And you, Louise? What did you do with yourself last night?" Rachel asked and April's interest was perked instantly.

"Nothing much," Lou answered matter-of-factly.

"Really?" April exclaimed, a mischievous smile shaping up. Her expression didn't come unnoticed to Lou. "Nothing much?"

"That's right," Lou nodded, wondering what April was up to.

"Nobody came to see you?" Rachel continued her interrogation. Lou realized that Rachel had the same amused expression as April.

Louise shook her head no. She didn't like her friends' questions. Did they know anything? If so, how much did they know? Had they really guessed? And why didn't they just say it clearly? Lou knew that Kid and she had been very careful, too careful in Kid's opinion. He still didn't understand why they had to hide, but maybe, Louise thought, they hadn't been so careful. Maybe somehow their lies had given them away. Louise looked at both her friends and answered Rachel's question, "Nobody."

April smiled conspiratorially. She was enjoying this so much. Lou was getting flustered and awkward with all their questioning. It was clear that she was trying to hide something and their questions were making her feel really uncomfortable. "Any chance Captain Hoskins called on you?" April asked.

"Oh! Him?" Louise exclaimed relieved. She had forgotten about the captain's visit completely. She was a fool. She was beginning to imagine things. Nobody knew about Kid, but sometimes it felt as if what she was feeling was so obvious that everybody knew. "Yeah, he was here last night for just a few minutes. It had completely slipped my mind," Lou added.

Rachel and April shot each other conspiratorial looks. The older woman began tentatively, "He's sure a handsome man."

"You could say that," Lou remarked without much enthusiasm.

"He seems quite taken by you," April added, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Bah," Lou brushed away her friend's remark. She was getting a bit fed up with this conversation. Why were they all of the sudden so interested in flaunting the man's qualities? Now that she had got rid of him, apparently her friends had something up their sleeve. Louise hadn't made a secret of her feelings towards the captain. She thought that the man was a completely bore and too stiff in her opinion. She had joked about the man's pompous ways with Rachel. Then why this sudden interest?

"You can't deny he's such a catch, Lou," April insisted. "The man's handsome, smart and so charming." Lou looked at her narrowly with a skeptical expression. She didn't think the man was charming at all. "Why," April continued, trying to pull the right strings to make Louise talk. "If he made a pass at me, I'd…"

"April Cross!" Lou scolded severely not letting the girl finish. "You should be ashamed of yourself! You're a married woman and your husband happens to be one of my best friends!" Louise was shocked at the way April had been talking.

"It was just an example!" April defended herself. "Meant no harm. I love my husband."

Lou didn't say anything else but kept looking at April with an annoyed expression. Now she felt very tired all of a sudden. She couldn't carry on having this conversation. Rachel and April were acting real strange. Lou hadn't missed the conspiratorial looks and smiles going on between the two women. By the looks of it Lou would have thought that they knew all about Kid and her, but they were just talking about Captain Hoskins. She just hoped that they didn't expect to set her up with the man. April had hinted just yesterday that she needed a man in her life. Louise just hoped that her friends didn't try to act as match-makers. She really didn't need any of that. What she really needed right now was to have some rest.

Louise rose to her feet and said, "Girls, I really appreciate your company, but I had a rough night and I'm dying to have a nap."

Rachel noticed that she wasn't making up some excuse. Louise really looked tired and haggard. "It's fine, honey. Go and get some sleep."

Lou went inside and the two other women stayed on the porch, sipping their cups of tea. Rachel was in deep thought. April was smiling radiantly and when she was sure that Lou had really gone, she exclaimed enthusiastically, "Wasn't I right, Rachel?"

The older woman looked at her friend skeptically, "April, she never admitted or even hinted that she's seeing him or anything."

"But, Rachel," April insisted, completely confident in her judgment, "didn't you see the signs?"

"Signs?" Rachel asked with a dubious expression.

"Sure," April continued, "First she got all defensive."

"Did she?" Rachel asked, still doubtful.

"Of course," April had no doubts whatsoever. "Then she got all jealous of me when I just mentioned the man's good looks."

"Jealous?" Rachel repeated unsure. On hearing April Rachel was genuinely wondering if she had been taking part in the same conversation as her friend. She hadn't seen any of the things April had noticed apparently so clearly. Rachel didn't think Lou had gotten defensive or jealous. On the contrary, Louise hadn't seemed to care particularly about the whole thing, but April was talking in such a confident tone that Rachel doubted her own judgment.

"And," April continued, "I bet he came by and saw her later after the social. I can rightly guess how she had her rough night," she added, smiling mischievously.

"April!" Rachel exclaimed, laughing at the girl's brashness. "Lou's right. You should be ashamed of yourself. When did you get so sassy?"

April just shrugged her shoulders and remarked smiling broadly, "I just think it's all so romantic."

Rachel grinned at the girl's antics. "Yeah, it is," Rachel agreed. Then both women let out a couple of sighs at the same time. They looked at each other with bemused expressions and doubled up in laughter.

"Poor Louise," Rachel thought. She knew that April wouldn't leave the matter alone. Rachel had found it amusing to see Lou's uncomfortable face before. But maybe they should stay put. Louise would tell them when she wanted to, but Rachel knew that April wouldn't share her opinion. She wouldn't miss her fun. The girl had had to bear their teasing when she and Buck had first begun. Rachel admitted that Lou and she had given her a hard time. No, April wouldn't let her time for retaliation pass.

* * *

For the middle of February it was a really warm day. There was not a single cloud in the sky and the sun was brightly shining above. This week Kid was trying to make sure that the ranch looked its best. McDowell would be coming at the end of the week and the Southerner just wanted everything to be perfect. He wanted to make a good impression and have a good dealing with the man. They really needed an injection of money. Lately they were really struggling to make ends meet. With paying the workmen and keeping the ranch running Kid knew that little was left. Fortunately, he knew that the situation was temporary as at the beginning of the spring Lou had told him they always had lots of buyers. But winter months were the worst and this year had been especially hard.

Kid looked through the list with all the tasks to be done around the ranch. The fences needed to be repaired, the stables needed extra cleaning, all the horses were to get extra exercise and cares. It was going to be an especially hard week but he just hoped that the work would be worth it.

Kid began unloading a wagon full of sacks of grain and caught sight of Lou on the porch in the company of April and Rachel. He longed to leave everything and go to her side. Every day he found it more difficult to stay away from her and pretend in front of the others. Those few hours they spent together at night weren't enough any more. He wanted to wake up by her side every day and share every single moment with her. The feelings he had were so powerful that they surprised him. He had never felt so strongly before, not with Alice anyway. He and Alice had had a sweet love story but it hadn't been anything alike to what he had with Louise.

The previous night had been so special and hard at the same time. They had enjoyed each other's company and it had felt so perfect. That was what Kid wanted, to have more moments like that. They had laughed, they had talked, they had felt so much at ease. And then she had told him everything, something Kid had wanted to know since he first came to Sweetwater. She had told him the good moments and also the bad ones. It was strange to feel nothing when Lou had told him about his brother's death or about those friends of his from the south. Apparently he had been deeply affected by their deaths, but now he didn't feel anything. For him they hadn't even existed in his life. It was sad but it was the truth. He didn't even have an image of any of them in his mind. How could he feel pain when they didn't exist for him?

Last night, though, he had also felt pain, a terrible pain. When Lou had reluctantly told him about the monster who had stolen her innocence, he had wanted to kill the man with his bare hands in that instant, but the man had been dead for years. Kid had felt so powerless and furious. He couldn't do anything. The man was dead and it had happened long before he and Lou had first met. He just wished he could erase that moment from Lou's life, from her mind. He just wanted her to have happy memories, happy moments, but there was nothing he could do about it. He just had held her in his arms and let her cry against his chest.

Now in a way Kid felt closer to her. He didn't remember anything Louise had told him about. They had lived so much together and it pained him not to have any recollections in his mind. He heartily wished he could remember the first time he had seen her, the first time he had kissed her, the times she had told him 'I love you', the times they had laughed, that time they had married. He may not be able to recover all those moments, so he would have to make new memories with her.

When he had finished unloading the buckboard, Kid noticed Lou disappearing into the house, leaving her friends on the porch. Even though attentive to his work, Kid hadn't averted his eyes from Lou's image for a single second. He wondered what may have happened for Lou to leave April and Rachel like that. However, the women didn't stay there long as not much later they walked off of her porch, Rachel towards the wagon and April towards her own house.

After the grain sacks had been stored away in the shed, Kid unhitched the horses from the buckboard and led them to the stables. On entering he saw Buck mucking out the stalls and Kid smiled amused. He knew that his friend hated the chore particularly and it was his turn the whole week since the regular man to do the task was sick.

"Having fun?" Kid asked teasingly.

Buck glared at his friend and didn't say a word. He decided it was time for a break and left the rake against the wooden wall. Buck approached Kid and asked, "How did you get on last night?"

"Last night?" Kid repeated wonderingly.

"Yeah, you went to see a property, right?" Buck reminded him.

"Oh, yes," Kid nodded without much enthusiasm. He had completely forgotten the lie he had to tell his friend.

"So?" Buck insisted.

"Uh … it wasn't exactly what I was looking for," Kid hurried to make up some kind of explanation.

"Whereabouts was the property exactly?" Buck kept asking.

"Uh…" Kid hesitated. Why was he asking so many questions all of a sudden? Lou had said that nobody would be asking anything, but apparently she had been wrong. Buck seemed really interested and Kid wasn't particularly good at lying. "Somewhere in the outskirts," Kid smiled awkwardly. "You know I still get lost around these parts." Kid knew that Buck wasn't buying his story.

Buck noticed his friend's reluctance to talk. It didn't surprise him at all. He nodded and added, "Kid, I know how you feel."

"Uh...," Kid mumbled, wondering what Buck was trying to say. Had he caught his lie flagrantly?

Buck continued, "I give you we've all been partial to Lou in all this time. We all kind of hoped that you two would somehow make up." Kid kept staring at him with a confused expression. What was Buck hinting at? Had he seen through his lie? It was fine with him. Kid could tell him everything. There was nothing to hide. He wouldn't have agreed to that in the first place but for Lou's insistence. Buck disregarded his friend's dazzled expression and carried on, "I understand that you don't feel comfortable talking to us about your and Alice's coming marriage."

"Oh." Kid realized what his friend was really talking about. Buck had taken his awkwardness about the lie as just hesitation at talking about Alice.

Buck smiled and patted Kid on the shoulder. "Kid, you needn't feel awkward with us. We understand that your story with Lou is … well … history. We understand you have a new life."

"Uh … thank you," Kid said clumsily. Now he really felt awkward. Buck was offering him his encouragement as a friend and Kid felt so guilty for blatantly lying to him. Kid was really ashamed of himself and felt unsure of what to say.

Buck smiled mischievously and looking over his shoulder to check that nobody was within earshot he whispered, "And you shouldn't worry about Lou either. I know for sure she's sweet on somebody."

Kid choked at his words and for a moment he couldn't find his own voice. "Is she?" Kid stuttered. What was Buck trying to tell him now?

Buck nodded, convinced of the truth in his words. He chuckled at watching Kid's expression. Buck bet his friend hadn't been expecting this. Nobody had expected this. "Also has a right to move on," Buck said lightly.

"Oh, sure," Kid hurried to say and then he asked tentatively, "Who?"

"Hoskins," Buck answered, no hesitation in his voice. He hadn't been sure about it last night despite April's arguments. The captain wasn't the kind of man Buck would think Lou would be happy with. But then he had begun thinking about it. Lou hadn't turned down the captain's obvious insinuations flatly as Buck had seen her do with other men. Besides, even though he had known Lou for many years, he really couldn't say that Captain Hoskins wasn't her kind of man. Buck had only known one kind of man for her, Kid, but there were no more Kids on offer for her. Buck decided that April was right after all.

"Captain Hoskins?" Kid repeated. A smile began forming on his lips. It amused him that Buck was making these wrong assumptions. However, then his face fell. He didn't like people to think that his Louise was seeing somebody other than him. Even though the whole thing was a hoax, it didn't please him at all.

Buck nodded and Kid asked again, "How do you know?"

Buck chuckled and shrugged his shoulders but never answered his questions. "I'd better get back to work," Buck said, resuming the tedious chore. Kid was about to insist but thought better of it. It would look strange if he kept asking questions. Apparently, to everybody's eyes, he was planning to marry Alice shortly. Many questions about Lou and her possible romantic liaison wouldn't sound quite right. Kid wouldn't mind, he'd rather come clean, but he had to keep the charade for Lou's sake. That was what she wanted and she would be the one to say when the time was right. Kid felt that he had to prove to Lou that he was worth it. She had sacrificed so many years just for him. He needed to show her she hadn't wasted her time, that now he was there for her. If that meant to play by her rules, then so be it.

* * *

Louise sat up on the bed, covered by a bunch of papers and letters, her back propped against the pillows. She was so engrossed reading the documents that she failed to notice the door open. Kid appeared and his face lit up as he saw her. Tonight he hadn't been able to sneak out of the house till now. It was much later than usual but the boys had been in a chattering mood despite the day's hard work. Kid had patiently waited till the bunkhouse had fallen into silence and after checking that everybody was sound asleep, he had sneaked out. He couldn't wait to be with Lou. Days were so long when he had to wait till night to be alone with her.

"What are you doing?" Kid asked.

Louise raised her head from the papers and smiled broadly at seeing him. "Just checking how much we owe," she said with an embittered expression.

Kid began unbuttoning his shirt as he said teasingly, "Leave that for tomorrow. I won't share you with our creditors."

Louise giggled and added, "It won't take a minute."

"Very well, then," Kid said, feigning annoyance. Lou did not take any notice of his expression and continued with the task. Kid felt miffed at her lack of interest. He had been looking forward to being with Lou tonight and she seemed more interested in some numbers than in him. Kid looked around the room and remembered the first time he had first been here. It had been the day after Jamie's death. Everything was the same and his attention fell on the dressing table where she kept their wedding picture and those letters. Kid approached the spot and picking up the bunch of letters, he peered at them.

Lou noticed him move and looked up from the papers. When she saw him grabbing her letters she jumped out of the bed in no time, dropping the papers all over the room.

"Kid, give them to me!" Louise said in a stiff tone.

Kid was surprised at this sudden outburst of hers. "Why?" he asked.

"Just give them to me!" she repeated demandingly, beginning to panic.

Her tone didn't go unnoticed to Kid. He was really surprised at her reaction. What was in those letters that made her so edgy?

"I just would like to read them," Kid said.

"What for? There's nothing in them," Lou muttered. She couldn't let him read the letters. He would know that she hadn't been completely sincere with him.

"Then why does it matter if I read them?" Kid insisted.

Lou was about to snatch the letters off his hand but Kid was quicker. He lifted his hand with the letters over his head and adopted a playful tone. "Come and get them."

However, Lou wasn't amused. She didn't like this game. She had had enough with yesterday's conversation and she just couldn't bear another night with questions and explanations. And if Kid read any of those letters, she would have to talk about something that she didn't feel ready for yet. He just couldn't read them. Fear was coursing all over her. "Please give them to me," she almost pleaded, her eyes glittering.

Seeing her serious stance Kid decided to stop his teasing. He still didn't understand why these letters made her so jittery. He just wanted to read his own words and know how he really sounded and felt before being wounded. Yet, he didn't want to upset her any further. He handed the letters to Lou and she hurried to hide them in one of the drawers. Her back towards him, Kid noticed for the first time that she was only wearing a man's old shirt, which was too big for her petite frame. He thought that she had never looked more attractive.

Kid approached her and began kissing her neck. He heard her moan in delight and then she turned around. Kid noticed that her previous serious stance had changed into one of utter contentment. He looked at her and said playfully, "It's fine by me if you want to keep secrets."

"There are no secrets, Kid," Lou defended herself feebly. She knew that she didn't sound very convincing and she hated lying to Kid. "You keep saying that we should look ahead and forget the past, don't you?"

Kid shook his head and chuckled at her protectiveness over those letters. He knew that there was something in them that Lou didn't want him to know about. Whatever it was, he really didn't care. He only cared that Louise was with him now. "All right, all right," Kid let out. "I can keep secrets too." He arched one eyebrow in a mischievous way.

Louise looked at him with a puzzled expression. She knew that she'd hate herself for asking but she couldn't help it. "What secrets do you have?"

Kid chuckled. He knew that she wouldn't be pleased to know that he was keeping something from her. "Well, some secret," he said playfully.

"What secret?" Lou demanded, not liking his teasing. He might just be messing around with her and she hated feeling so naïve.

"Something Buck told me this morning," Kid said non-chalantly.

Louise let out an audible sigh, tired of his banter, but kept asking, "What did he tell you?"

Kid smiled mischievously. He liked the way he was keeping her on her toes. Kid stayed quiet and his silence exasperated her. "Kid!" Lou almost shouted.

He looked at her and just blurted out, "He told me that you are seeing someone."

Lou's mouth fell. She was speechless. She had never expected this. How on earth had Buck found out? They had been so careful. After a few moments she managed to find her own voice and uttered clumsily, "What? How?"

Kid grinned at seeing her expression. He must have had the same countenance when Buck told him. "Apparently the lucky guy is Captain Hoskins, that fella you mercilessly sent packing," Kid explained amusedly.

"Captain Hoskins?" Lou repeated the name with an expression of utter disgust. Then a thought struck her. "That's why Rachel and April were acting so weird this morning. They kept pestering me with questions and insinuations about the man." She shook her head. "Why, those two little rascals! What else did he tell you?" she asked, looking thoughtful. She wondered how they had come to think that she was having some romantic affair with that man. After a few moments she realized that Kid hadn't answered her question and she urged him, "Kid?" She looked up at him and noticed that he wasn't paying attention to her words.

Kid's attention was somewhere else. He was eyeing Lou up and down lustfully. The shirt hardly hid her legs and Kid had never seen her look so appealing as tonight. He met her eyes and whispered his question, "And this shirt?"

Lou smiled despite feeling self-conscious with all his ogling and said, "It was yours. I used to wear it in bed at night. Made me feel closer to you."

"Well," Kid began, "as I'm right here, you don't need it to feel closer to me." He began to undo the buttons of her shirt. Louise giggled as he eased off the shirt, leaving her naked before his eyes. Kid picked her up in his arms and looking straight in her eyes, he whispered lustfully, "Tonight I'll make you feel me real close." And he carried her lovingly towards the bed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Friday came and Kid had everything ready to receive McDowell, the man who would ease their present financial problems. He hoped that things would turn out to be as he expected. In the communications he had with McDowell, the man had implied in his letters and telegrams that he planned to acquire some twenty horses and the price he had accepted was more than adequate. Besides, there was the promise of further dealings if he was satisfied. Everything just looked great and the only missing bit was actually to do the deal.

Louise had told him that while the man was around the ranch, she wouldn't make her appearance. She would stay at home all day and would be relieved when he was gone. Kid understood that she didn't like the man, but he thought she was going a bit over the top. At the ranch they had to deal with all kinds of people, and Kid didn't think that the man could be much nastier from some of the shady individuals they had to deal with day by day.

A wagon appeared in the distance and made its way towards the property. Kid and Buck waited till the carriage came to a complete halt. McDowell was a bit earlier than he had said but Kid was glad that they could get down to business straight away. He studied the people inside the wagon. Apart from the carriage driver there were two other people on the back seats. McDowell was a man of around Teaspoon's age. He was dressed neatly in a grey suit. When the man proceeded to alight from the wagon, Kid noticed that the man carried a walking stick as he had a light limp in his left leg. There was also a lady with him. The woman was younger than McDowell and she seemed to fuss over the man as he strained to get off the wagon.

McDowell came towards Kid and Buck after bellowing some orders to the driver. He had a lopsided smile on his face when he caught sight of Kid.

"Well, well, well," McDowell said, "seems like ages since we last tried to do business."

Kid had no notion of ever meeting the man, but he wasn't going to explain his life to him, so he just said, "Definitely seems so."

"If I remember correctly, I wasn't treated with due respect around this part," McDowell continued politely.

Kid did not say a word, just kept a neutral countenance. He just couldn't say anything because he didn't remember a thing. McDowell scanned the place around him and added, "Surely you have done well here. The first time I came this was just a run-down house and a rickety stable."

Kid beamed proudly at the man's words of praise. He really felt proud of his ranch but the merit was all Louise's. She had done so much for the place. "We can't complain," Kid remarked. He couldn't understand what Louise had against the man. He had been influenced by her distrust but actually the man didn't seem so bad after all.

In that moment the lady accompanying the old man approached them. McDowell looked at her with a bleak expression. He turned to Kid once again and blurted out, "This thing here is my daughter Emmeline. She's an ugly and dumb cow that no man in his senses would take from me. So I'm damn stuck with her." The man was speaking too loudly, and Kid thought that nobody at the ranch had missed his 'kind' words about his daughter.

Kid pitied the lady who looked very embarrassed after her father's introduction. The former Pony Express rider shook hands with the lady and said with a smile, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss McDowell." The woman did not say a word and just smiled timidly.

Kid turned to the man again and proceeded to introduce him to Buck. "This here is Buck Cross. He's my second-in-command."

Buck stretched his arm to greet the man, but McDowell just nodded coldly. Buck then lowered his arm awkwardly and added, disregarding the man's apparent scorn, "I've heard so much about you, Mr. McDowell."

The old man looked Buck up and down with visible contempt and roared laughingly, "Where did you leave your bow and arrows, Indian?" Then he began guffawing.

Kid was deeply offended by the man's words to his friend. He was about to retort when he felt Buck's restraining hand on his arm. He looked at him and Buck shook his head. McDowell was laughing uproariously at his own private joke. Kid wanted to give the man a piece of his mind and more, but Buck kept staring at him, silently pleading him to stay put.

Before the appearance of McDowell, that morning Lou had a little talk with both Kid and Buck. She had expressed her doubts about the whole thing but she knew that it was the only possible way to get over the present situation. Louise had been clear. She knew what she was talking about. She was the only one who had dealings with the man, and had asked them not to let themselves be influenced by McDowell's rude words or attitude for the sake of the ranch. Kid now understood what she had meant, and why she disliked the man so much. He just had a swinish attitude. Kid was starting to detest the man and he had met him barely ten minutes ago. He cringed at thinking of spending the whole day with him.

Kid decided to bite his tongue and unwillingly let the man have his fun at Buck's expense. He kept a long face, letting out that he wasn't amused at all. When the man sobered, he turned round and began hobbling towards the stables without waiting for any indication from Kid. "Let's see what you have to offer me, boy," he bellowed. Kid and Buck followed him on his tracks, praying that the end of this would come soon.

* * *

The day dragged on endlessly. Every passing minute seemed like an hour. Kid and Buck had shown McDowell around the ranch and the stables. The man was just a pest. He always had some nasty comment for everything. Nothing satisfied him. The horses Kid showed him didn't seem to meet his requirements. Every one of them had some kind of defect for the man. This one was too tall, that one wasn't strong enough, the other one was too small … Kid couldn't believe the man's nerve. His horses were the best ones in the region. McDowell wouldn't find better horses anywhere else and he knew it. Kid had to bite his tongue on several occasions. The man was really getting on his nerves and Kid was beginning to feel a splitting headache.

Kid had shown the man every single horse and felt relieved that the end of this horrendous visit was close to its end. He just didn't care any more whether McDowell wanted to buy the horses or not. He just wanted to wind up the whole matter. The three of them made their way out of the stables. For the first time McDowell was in silence, which they both received like a blessing. The old man led the way towards his wagon, where his daughter was waiting for him. When they had reached the middle of the yard, McDowell turned to Kid.

"I'm ready to make you a good offer for your horses," said McDowell, to Kid's surprise. If Kid had to go by the man's obnoxious attitude, he would have bet that his business opportunity was over and done with. "Mind you," McDowell continued, "your horses are far from perfect, but I know I won't find anything decent around this part of the country."

"That's great," Kid couldn't hide his enthusiasm and shook hands with the man firmly.

McDowell dismissed Kid's sincere eagerness lightly and added, "We'll deal with the details tonight at dinner."

"Dinner?" Kid repeated surprised.

"Sure, boy. I wouldn't dream of missing lovely Louise." The man chuckled. "I'll see you all again at six tonight."

"She can't … I'm afraid…" Kid began clumsily but the man wasn't listening to him any more. McDowell was making his way towards the wagon without paying any attention to Kid's clumsy attempts.

"Come on, Emmeline, you lazy cow!" he called his daughter who breathlessly ran towards him. She helped him into the buckboard, not without the man's caustic comments.

Buck and Kid stayed in the middle of the yard watching the wagon disappear in the distance. Kid was still trying to make head and tail of what had happened. They would have him for dinner tonight and, worst of all, they had to tell Lou. Kid had promised her that she wouldn't have to deal with the man at all, and now he had to drop the bomb that the man was coming to her house for dinner.

Kid felt Buck patting him on the shoulder lightly. "We have a problem, my friend," Buck said.

"And a big one," Kid agreed. He turned his head to Buck and asked, "Who's gonna tell her?"

Buck lifted both his arms defensively and said as he walked away, "Don't look at me!"

"Buck!" Kid protested, but his Kiowa friend was already out of earshot. Kid sighed audibly, fearing to face Lou with the news. For once he wasn't eager to see Louise as he knew what she'd have in store for him. Yet, he had no other option than go and tell her. They were so close to selling those horses and that was what they needed. He sighed again and decided not to delay the matter any longer. He lumbered towards the house and when he was on the porch, he exclaimed out loud, "God help us."

* * *

"I said no!" Louise cried for the umpteenth time. Kid had patiently explained the whole matter to her but she hadn't even let him finish. She had refused flatly. She wouldn't have that man under her own roof, not even for all the gold in the world.

"Lou," Kid tried again, "we're so near to closing the deal. You know how much we need that money."

"I won't have that swine in my house, at my table!" she said stubbornly.

"I don't like the man either," Kid continued. "Gosh, I'd have saved you this but he didn't give me any option. I just want to do the best for the ranch. I understand if you feel you can't do this. We'll just have to find another way."

Lou eyed him narrowly. He really knew what strings to pull. How could she refuse after this? Of course she also wanted the best for their ranch, for their dream. She let out an audible sigh and looked at him ruefully, "You little scoundrel!"

He reached out and hugged her briefly. "You'll see, it won't be so bad. Rachel, Teaspoon and Buck will be there too. They will keep him busy and hopefully we'll have an early night."

Lou closed her eyes, hoping that Kid was right. She didn't trust the man at all but she also knew that at the moment the ranch wasn't at its best. She looked at him narrowly and pointing at him purposely she said, "You'll have to make it up to me."

Kid smiled broadly and added proudly, "That's my girl."

Louise disregarded Kid's comment. She wasn't in a playful mood, so she turned round towards the kitchen. "I guess I'd better begin fixing dinner," she said without much enthusiasm. Then she turned her head towards Kid again, her eyes glittering mischievously. "What about pork in hemlock sauce as the main dish?"

Kid laughed heartily as she disappeared into the kitchen. He thought that her idea wasn't too bad. The man deserved that and more. He just hoped that things were all right tonight and McDowell didn't make too many of his nasty comments. He had been able to restrain himself and keep quiet so far. Buck had surprisingly seemed unmoved by the man's remarks, even when some of them were explicitly directed to him. However, Kid knew that Lou wouldn't keep quiet, she would blurt out what was on her mind and McDowell's comments would surely make her explode. He just hoped that for once she weren't so straight. He loved her for that, for her unreserved sincerity, but tonight they just needed to play a part.

* * *

McDowell appeared at six on the dot much to Lou's chagrin. She had hoped against hope that the man sent word to call the dinner off. But no, he had shown up, with the same vile attitude as Louise remembered. Fortunately, Kid had arrived first and he would deal with the man himself. McDowell greeted her ceremoniously, and Lou had scurried away to the kitchen as soon as she could. The others, Rachel, Teaspoon, Buck and April arrived shortly after. Kid had acted as master of ceremonies and had introduced McDowell and his daughter to Teaspoon and the women. When introduced to Rachel, the old man began leering at the woman and couldn't avert his gaze from her. Noticing his obvious ogling Rachel excused herself straight away and went to find Louise, followed by April.

When they were gone, McDowell bellowed, "That one sure is all woman! What a pair of …" the man exclaimed, gesticulating what he was trying to express, but he didn't finish his sentence as Kid was quick to cut him off noticing what the man was about to say.

"Why don't we fix ourselves something to drink, gentlemen?"

Teaspoon was looking daggers at the man. He didn't like the way McDowell had talked about Rachel. If Kid hadn't stepped in, the marshal certainly wouldn't have let the man off so lightly. He wasn't going to let anybody bad-mouth the women of his family. Yet, he would overlook the fact this time. He didn't want to make a ruckus in Lou's house.

Louise thought that the evening wasn't going so bad after all. They had sat down to dinner but surprisingly McDowell hadn't opened his mouth much. He just kept ogling Rachel, which wasn't such an occurrence. Most men did it when they first met her friend. Nobody was surprised about it. Lou was really glad that things were going so smoothly. Actually, she was kind of enjoying the evening. Kid had sat down next to her and from time to time and unbeknownst to anybody else he squeezed her hand under the table. However, good things never last. McDowell turned his attention to Kid and said loudly, "Boy, I heard that your marriage is a complete wreckage."

His words caught Kid by surprise and his voice faltered. "Uh," he tried to say something but McDowell continued, paying no heed to Kid or anybody else. "I tell you it doesn't surprise me at all."

Louise couldn't keep quiet at his words. "What on earth does that mean?" Lou asked in a hard tone.

McDowell didn't even turn to her. He continued talking, his attention addressed to Kid, "Emmeline can be an ugly cow, but she can sure fix a decent meal." The man impaled a piece of meat on his fork, smelled it and made a gesture of disgust.

Louise was livid with anger. How dare he insult her in her own house? She admitted that she had never been good at cooking, but she had improved so much in the last years. Everybody mocked her, but she knew that they didn't mean it. They just liked to tease her and have a good laugh. Yet, this man had overstepped the mark. She felt so offended, especially as he had implied that Kid had left her for that.

McDowell was oblivious to Lou's apparent anger and continued his speech very calmly, "And no children." He arched an eyebrow to show the logic of his words. "A filly that can't work and breed is no use. Better send her away."

Louise couldn't believe what her ears were hearing. She was so furious that she felt her body tremble. She almost felt like throwing up. "I'm not one of your damn horses!" she bellowed.

McDowell looked at Lou impassively and added, "Women and fillies, no difference. God put both on this earth for just one and only reason."

The whole table had lapsed into silence as they watched the heated exchange between Louise and the old man. Kid's mind was racing to find a way to stop this. Louise was getting real upset, and he himself was boiling with anger at the man's words. Kid tried to step in but they didn't let him get a word in edgeways.

"I can have babies," Lou roared furiously. She didn't know why she was justifying herself to the man. She felt so humiliated in front of her friends, in front of her family, in front of Kid.

McDowell never lost his composure. He seemed to be enjoying every minute of this. He laughed raucously at Lou's obvious altered state. "Really?" he asked sarcastically.

His amusement was infuriating her to such extremes that the next sentence kind of slipped out of her mouth before she had time to think. "I got pregnant once but I lost …" She stopped at mid-sentence and covered her mouth with her hand realizing what she had just said. Clumsily she jumped to her feet and mumbling an apology she ran towards the door and dashed off.

"Louise!" Rachel called and tried to go after her, but Kid stopped her intentions. She looked at him and said thickly, "She never talks about that; she doesn't even mention it." Rachel knew that he had understood her, and she also knew that she had to let him go after her. It was an issue that they both had to talk about.

Kid rose to his feet slowly and heard McDowell bluster, "What the hell is going on?" Kid had enough of the man and now he didn't care whether they closed the deal or not. He had hurt and humiliated Lou and that was what he cared about. He felt guilty for not doing anything to avoid this predicament. He was about to retort to the man when he heard Emmeline roar, "Will you just shut up, father?"

The astonished expression on McDowell's face showed that he hadn't expected this from his daughter at all. Surprisingly the man didn't speak and kept quiet. Kid looked at the lady and smiling his thanks to her he dashed towards the door.

* * *

Kid stepped out of the house and looked around. He could see the lights in the bunkhouse; the boys must have been having dinner. He wondered where Lou had scurried to. She was nowhere to be seen. Clearly she hadn't gone into the bunkhouse in the state she was in, and she couldn't have run out of the property. It was already too dark. So he decided to try the stables.

He stomped into the building. It was completely dark. He stopped a moment, and he heard sounds coming from the farthest end. Apparently his guess had been right. As he came closer to the spot where the sounds came from, he realized that they were sobs. Louise was crying, and Kid cursed himself. She had been so adamant about not seeing McDowell and he had insisted. The result had been disastrous. As he advanced slowly, he realized that he was also shaken. Louise had said that she had been pregnant. How come she hadn't said anything to him? What had really happened? Kid reached the end of the building and made out her figure curled up into a ball in an empty stall. Her body was shaking with sobs. Kid had never seen her like that before. She was the strongest woman he knew and seeing her now so small broke his heart.

Lou?" he whispered but she seemed oblivious to his presence.

He thought she had not even heard him. He was about to call her name again when she wailed, "I'm so sorry."

Kid came closer to her and crouched before her dejected figure. Her face was buried in her arms and she didn't lift it even when she felt Kid's arms around her. He held her tight till he felt her sobs subside. Then Lou lifted her eyes to his and repeated with a thick voice, "I'm so sorry"

Kid did not want to push her and just said softly, "Would you like to talk about it?"

He couldn't see her face clearly in the dark and waited for her answer. A couple of minutes went by and they remained in silence. Then Louise spoke up. "I was so blissfully happy when I found out about it. I had felt so miserable since you had left. This came as a ray of hope to my life. I wrote to you straight away. In your letters you sounded as proud as I was feeling."

The letters, Kid thought. She hadn't let him read those letters lying on her dressing table. She had been furious when she had found out that he had taken them, and just this week she had got so edgy when she had caught him with his hands on them. Now he understood.

"I was almost five months pregnant, and howing." Kid smiled ruefully, picturing her in his mind. "One night," Louise continued, "I woke up suddenly. Something just didn't feel right. I tried to sit up and then noticed the bedding was soaked. I panicked." Kid felt her body stiffen and her voice thicken. "I felt my way around the room and I managed to light the lamp." Louise stopped for an instant, took a deep breath and continued. "The bed was covered in blood, in my blood. I was frantic. I was by myself with just two children. Back then there were no men in the bunkhouse, just one man would come in the morning and give me a hand. Buck was still with his people and Rachel hadn't moved back from Rock Creek yet." Kid could feel her distress, her agony. "Then I realized for the first time what had woken me up. I was racked by terrible pains. I don't know how but I managed to reach Jeremiah's room. My poor brother got the scare of his life that night when he woke to find me in that state. I sent him to bring the doctor." Lou felt her tears running freely down her face again. "I knew there was nothing to be done. There was no baby any more, I knew. The doctor appeared in what felt like hours. He confirmed what I already knew, and I wanted to die too." She was sobbing uncontrollably again and Kid realized that his eyes were also wet.

After a few minutes Lou managed to get a grip of herself and said with a thick voice. "After that, I had to do the hardest thing ever. I had to tell you. It took me a while to find the courage but eventually I sent you a pitiful letter and … I never heard from you after that." Louise paused and tried to find his eyes. "I don't even know if you ever got that letter. I hadn't been able to talk about this with anybody … not even with Rachel, I just couldn't."

"It wasn't your fault." It was the first time Kid spoke up. He had let her talk. He knew that she needed her time to unload herself.

"I don't know," Lou said. "Maybe I overdid it. There was so much to do and I didn't have much help."

"It could have happened to anyone," Kid insisted. He really felt the guilt all over him. He knew that if he had stayed with her, this might not have happened. They might now be the proud parents of a small child, but Kid knew that he couldn't erase the past. He had made so many mistakes and Louise always ended up suffering for his sake. He swore to himself that he would make it up to her. He couldn't erase the past, but he could make sure the future was spotless.

"I know that," Lou said. "It took me a while to understand." She stopped for a beat and then added, "I'm so scared." Her voice cracked with emotion.

Kid took her in his arms and whispered, "Why, honey?" He really didn't understand what she was now talking about.

Louise looked at Kid in the eyes purposely for a few instants and then added in a steady voice, "I am pregnant."

Kid jumped to his feet as if he were on fire. Thousands of thoughts raced in his mind. "What…" he stuttered. He hadn't expected this at all and now he felt like panicking. "Did you see a doctor?" It was the only coherent sentence he was able to mutter.

Louise stayed sitting on the stall floor and lowered her eyes. She felt she couldn't meet his eyes. She shook her head, and mused, "I'm pretty sure. I know my body and myself."

Kid kept silent, unable to think of anything to tell her. He was frantic. Sure he had dreamt of having children with Louise one day but he hadn't expected this turn so unexpectedly. They had barely been together for about two months and now fears and doubts assaulted him. He felt like he was suffocating. "I…" he began nervously. " I … need to be alone." Without further thinking he retraced his steps and dashed outside like a bat out of hell.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Kid had been riding for what seemed hours. The night had turned out to be quite an event. Not only had he found out that Louise had a miscarriage at the beginning of their marriage but she actually was pregnant now. The thought of her miscarriage pained him. He didn't understand how that loss which he had not known anything about till just minutes ago could make him feel this terrible pain. He couldn't do anything about it; it had happened years ago, but Kid still felt responsible.

If he had been with her, she wouldn't have had to find herself in that predicament. Knowing Lou he was sure that she must have spared no effort to ensure that things at the ranch ran smoothly during that time. Kid imagined that, even though Lou was a strong and determined woman, it must have been real hard for a woman on her own and to be pregnant on top of it all. It must have been a lot on her shoulders besides having the responsibility of her two younger siblings. She must have had a lot of pressure and Kid wondered if all that hadn't been the cause of her miscarriage. And she had to go through that all by herself. He hadn't been there to hold her hand, to whisper words of comfort or just to let her know that everything would be all right. No, he had been thousands of miles away, fighting a war that he didn't even remember why he fought in it in the first place.

Now she was pregnant again. The words kept repeating in Kid's mind and he felt like choking. As soon as Lou had told him, his mind had begun reeling. They weren't even married anymore, and they were going to have a baby. A baby. Kid didn't even know if he would be a good father. The responsibility was huge and he felt that maybe it would be too much for him. They had acted so irresponsibly without thinking about the possible consequences. He had just known that he loved Louise and that he just wanted to be with her.

Lou. Louise. Just thinking about her made him smile. She had made him happier in these two months than ever before. And she was bearing his child, their child. To his surprise the thought made him grin with pleasure for the first time. He had confused feelings; he didn't know how he really felt about the whole thing. Gosh, he didn't even know what she felt either. He hadn't stayed around to find out. She had just said that she was scared, Kid remembered. Nothing else. She hadn't even moved. She had stayed in the same position as Kid had found her. She was scared.

Kid thought ruefully that he had let her down once again. He hadn't comforted her or showed that he'd be by her side no matter what. No, he had run away. He had left her again. The thought struck him like a ton of bricks. He had vowed that he'd never leave her and at the first opportunity he had broken his promise. Not that he had planned to abandon her or anything. He had just felt scared all of the sudden. Kid couldn't imagine his life without Lou in it, and now he couldn't imagine it without her and the baby. Yet, his sudden departure must have appeared to her as though he refused her, as though he regretted it.

Kid pulled his horse to a stop. He had been riding frantically, the same way his thoughts were running wildly through his mind. Now he had to go back. He needed to talk to her. He had to explain to her that he had panicked, but he would be there for her and their child. He would be there for good. And it wasn't because he felt responsible. He would be there because she was the most important thing in his life. Kid prayed that Louise could understand. Kid imagined that she would be so mad at him right now that he'd have problems talking to her. Otherwise, she would feel as shattered and lost as he'd seen her tonight. Kid would rather she was furious and called him all kinds of names. He just didn't want to see her so devastated again. She just didn't deserve any more unhappiness. She had had enough as it was. Kid just wanted her to feel happy and smile all the time. He had to go back. He had to see that she was all right. They needed to talk things through. Kid drew his breath and urged the horse forward. "Let's go home, boy," he told the animal complacently.

* * *

It was a very dark night. Threatening clouds had covered the moon and the bright stars, and darkness enveloped the ranch. Kid dismounted and led the horse inside the stables. He was eager to talk to Lou but he couldn't leave the animal to starve. He had been riding for almost two hours, and the horse deserved its food and rest. After unsaddling it Kid led his faithful animal to an empty stall. He filled the trough with fresh water and grain, and added some hay to the stall floor.

Once Kid had made sure that his horse was well taken care of, he left the stables. He stepped out and looked around. The bunkhouse was in complete darkness. The boys had called it a day already and must have crashed after a hard day's work. He looked towards Lou's place. It was also in darkness. There wasn't even a light in her bedroom. When he visited her every night, he could know that she was waiting for him as a faint light was visible in her bedroom window. Yet, tonight there was not a single light. Kid let out his breath and plodded towards the house.

He reached the porch and tried the door hesitantly. To his utter surprise he found it unlocked. He opened the door ever so slowly, fearing what he might find. Nervously he let himself in. He had barely made it to the foyer when he saw her. She was sitting on a rocking chair facing the main door, which he had just closed two seconds ago. There was a fire going in the fireplace and the leaping flames reflected their dim light on Lou's figure, throwing flickering shadows on her face. When Louise saw Kid step in, she turned to the side table and lit the lamp that was on it. The room immediately lit up.

Kid remained on the same spot. He was unsure whether to come closer to her or stay where he was. His legs seemed glued to the place and felt like jelly. To his surprise Lou smiled and said shyly, "Hey you!"

Her smile gave him some reassurance and Kid repeated the greeting, "Hey". He was feeling self-conscious in front of her questioning eyes and was at a loss about what to say after his flit. However, she surprised him once more when she spoke up.

"I was waiting for you."

"Were you?" Kid asked with a pleased smile. Lou nodded and he added, "You hoped I would show up?"

Louise rose to her feet and came closer to him. She shook her head and added, "I was sure you would." She smiled and looked him straight in the eyes. "I know you pretty well."

Kid grinned but his smile faded as he said, "I'm so sorry, Lou. I … I don't know what got into me to leave you like that. I …"

"Shush," Lou hushed him. She came even closer and cupped his face in her hands. "It's alright, Kid. You got scared."

"But…" he tried to talk but she wouldn't let him.

"Kid, if back then when we first began, I had been told that there was a baby on the way after just two months, I would have fled to Timbuktu wherever that is." They both laughed heartily and Louise added, "It's quite natural to get scared. Gosh, I panicked myself when I noticed the signs."

Kid knew that she was telling him that she was scared. It was her way of letting him know. She was just trying to be strong for his sake, but he noticed that she had the same look as a few hours before. She needed his reassurance. "Everything is going to be all right," Kid said and as an afterthought he added, "…this time." Louise flinched at the reference, and Kid whispered softly, "I'll be with you, always."

Louise smiled at him and throwing her arms around him she said, "I love you."

Kid hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, "I love you, Louise McCloud." She beamed and peered at him lovingly. Kid leaned over and brushed his lips against hers. She retuned his kiss with passion and her arms came to enfold his neck. Kid felt his desire escalate. He broke the kiss and pulled away unwillingly. Louise looked at him quizzically, surprised; she knew that he wanted her now as much as she did. Kid excused himself clumsily. "I just don't want to hurt you."

Lou let out a peal of laughter and said, "Don't be silly." She looked at him teasingly and added, "And you promised me you would make it up to me for McDowell."

Kid realized for the first time that he had forgotten everything about the rancher. He slapped his forehead and groaned, "Oh God, McDowell!"

Lou folded her arms and said, "I took care of everything." After Kid's sudden departure from the stable it had taken Louise some minutes to get a grip of herself. She decided to go back to the house. McDowell was surprisingly still in her place despite Kid's and her sudden departures. It seemed that Teaspoon had engaged McDowell in conversation but the businessman didn't look very interested at all. When Lou reappeared, Teaspoon was telling one of his endless adventures as a Texas Ranger that she had heard dozens of times. McDowell seemed to be drooling over Rachel's charms rather than listening to the marshal's narration. "I got us a nice dealing," Louise continued. "I have some way with gentlemen."

Kid smiled and exclaimed, "That's my girl!"

"Well, Rachel kind of helped …some," she added and winked at him amused. Kid joined in her mirth and she said, "You owe me big and it's pay day, cowboy."

Lou brushed by him flirtingly and dashed up the stairs. Kid looked smilingly after her. She really had some way with gentlemen, and he really felt lucky to have her. Kid couldn't remember how it was before having Louise. Right now he just couldn't imagine his life without her. "Kid!" he heard her call him impatiently. He smiled broadly and ran up the stairs after her.

* * *

After making passionate love, Kid and Louise lay awake in each other's arms. A light breeze was blowing through the open window making the curtains flutter slightly. The crickets were chirping, but other than that everything was in utter silence.

Kid lifted up his eyes and peered at Lou. She smiled her brightest smile as he began caressing her belly over the quilt. He still couldn't believe that Lou was carrying his child. It seemed so unreal, like a dream. After his initial fears had faded, Kid felt the happiest man on earth. They had such a promising future ahead of them.

"Lou, I think we should get married." Louise looked at him quizzically and Kid carried on, "What do you say?"

"Well, I'll have to say no," she said decidedly, which was met by his astonished expression.

Kid looked at her with hurtful eyes and managed to utter, "Why?"

"Well," she began, "I'm not marrying no man who feels he _should_marry me." She emphasized what she meant.

Kid let out his breath relieved that she wasn't refusing him. A gentle smile spread over his face. "You know what I mean, Lou," he defended himself.

"I once told you that the man who planned to marry me should do the asking on a bended knee," she stated half-seriously.

On hearing her words Kid broke free of her hold and strained to get out of bed. Yet, Louise grabbed him by the arm and exclaimed, "Not here! It's just not decent."

Kid dropped his head on the pillow next to her heavily and looking at the ceiling he said, "When did you get all proper-like? I thought you didn't care about proprieties."

"I don't," Lou retorted, "but marriage is a serious thing." Kid looked at her quizzically and she added, "Think about it and surprise me."

He didn't answer back. Surprise her? There was nothing much to think about. They were going to have a baby or at least, that was what Lou suspected. They shouldn't be fooling around. Playtime was over, and now they had to think seriously about their responsibilities. They should get married as soon as possible. Kid had no doubts about it. Her attitude confused him. Any other woman in her position would not hesitate to accept no matter the circumstances. He still had to understand that Lou wasn't any woman. But if she wanted a proper proposal, well, she'd have one.

* * *

Louise was irritated, annoyed and bothered. Five days and nothing. Five long days and nothing. Every night she had expected him to propose as she had thought it was his intention but nothing had happened. Had she scared him away? She heartily wished to be married to Kid again. She knew that he loved her and he had shown that he was eager to make her his wife. She had stopped his intentions but she had never said that she wouldn't marry him. Lou just wanted something more romantic, but maybe he had misunderstood her? But he couldn't have. She had tactfully hinted at him that she was expecting his proposal. However, Kid didn't seem to have caught her hints. If things kept going like this, she would have to do something about it. It wasn't as if they had all the time in the world. She was very likely to be pregnant and they couldn't wait much longer.

Louise had almost finished getting ready. She was going to meet Rachel in her house. Theresa's wedding was just a fortnight away and she needed to talk about some of the arrangements with her friend. Theresa was coming in a week, and Louise expected to see Jeremiah and the rest of the family for the big event. It would be just great if everybody could make it, and it was going to be greater as she knew that this time Kid would be there with her. When her brother had married the year before, she hadn't really enjoyed the day at all. She had pretended and showed a happy face for Jeremiah's sake but she wasn't happy at all. Her mind had constantly drifted to her husband. But now Kid was back and he would be by her side.

Louise placed her hat on her head and after a last look in the mirror she made her way out. She had decided she'd walk to town. In her probable condition she couldn't ride and she didn't feel like hitching the horses to the wagon. The walk would do her good and let her do some thinking on the way. As she traversed the yard, she saw Kid and Buck resting on the bunkhouse porch. Nobody else was around. She supposed that Kid had given the boys some time off and they would have gone to town. As she passed by their side, she smiled at them.

"Where are you going all dressed up?" Buck asked intrigued. Louise had donned an elegant white blouse and a neat blue skirt. She really looked smart and Kid just couldn't help but stare at her like a fool.

"I'm just going to see Rachel," Lou explained matter-of-factly.

"Just Rachel?" Buck asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Yeah," Lou said annoyed as she stuck out her tongue to her friend mockingly. She was beginning to feel tired of all their insinuations. April never ceased to pester her with her insufferable double-edged questions lately. At the beginning Lou had found the matter amusing, but it was starting to annoy her. Everything she said or did was judged to be related with her alleged romance with Captain Hoskins. The idea just sounded so crazy to her ears. So far Buck had kept to himself but apparently he wanted to join in the fun.

"Aren't you taking your horse?" Buck asked again, much to Lou's chagrin.

"No, I'll walk," Louise answered patiently. "The exercise'll do me good."

"All the way to town?" Buck asked puzzled. It really was a long way to go.

Louise was getting annoyed with Buck's sudden curiosity in her affairs and was really thankful when Kid cut in, saving her from answering. "Louise, I'm just now going to town to pick up some things from Tompkins' store. The wagon is already hitched. I can give you a lift if you let me."

Louise loved the way Kid talked to her when they were with somebody else. He got so formal, and it amused her so much. She looked at him curiously. His eyes seemed to be begging her to say 'yes'. She tried to hide a contented smile from Buck by looking down at the ground as she nodded her agreement.

Kid jumped to his feet and said, "Good. Wait here. I'll get the wagon." He headed for the stables with a broad smile on his face as he hummed a tune.

* * *

Louise hooked her arm in his and let her head rest on Kid's shoulder. Kid smiled at her gesture. Lou was strangely pleased with the ride. It felt so great to be with him alone here in the open. It might sound silly to other ears if she admitted having so much pleasure in these small moments. She hadn't really been properly courted when Kid and she had begun. Back then she was supposed to have been a man and proper courtship had been unthinkable. They had never attended dances, he hadn't been able to invite her to dinner in town and they had never strolled hand in hand. They hadn't been able to enjoy those petty pleasures. No, it hadn't been easy. When they had first got married, they really hadn't had much time for anything with setting up the ranch, taking care of her siblings and adjusting to their new life as a married couple. They hadn't had many opportunities to enjoy some of the things they hadn't had in their courtship, and then Kid had shortly left for the war. Lou had never had any of that, which any girl could have. That was why she enjoyed those moments with him now. They meant so much to her.

Louise was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn't realize that Kid wasn't driving the wagon in the direction of town. It wasn't until after some minutes had gone by that she noticed and asked, "Where are we going, Kid?

"You'll see," Kid said smilingly.

"But Rachel's waiting for me!" Lou protested, but not too strongly.

"Trust me," that's all he said and Lou did not say one more word. She really was enjoying her time with him. She just didn't care if he took her straight into hell as long as she was with him.

After some ten minutes Kid stopped the wagon in a clearing near a lake. He jumped off the buckboard and proceeded to help Louise to get off. She smiled at him and did not dare to break the silence that had fallen over them. They hadn't spoken a word on their way to this spot. Lou knew that Kid was lost in thought. He seemed nervous and Louise bet that she had lived the same story before.

Kid came closer to her and held both of her hands. He breathed in and Lou looked at him quizzically. "Oh Lou," Kid exclaimed, "you're just so … perfect to me." Louise blushed at his complement. She felt far from perfect but she wasn't going to protest or interrupt him. She would let him say what it that was in his heart. "In this very spot I saw you for the first time, remember?"

Louise nodded. She remembered the day she had returned from Theresa's place after months away and had dragged Jamie to this place. She had been so angry when Kid had appeared before her with his widest smile. She looked at him, her eyes shining with emotion. "Back then I thought you were the rudest girl," Kid said, chuckling at the memory. Lou's eyes widened, amused by his remark and they both laughed heartily.

"Louise," he continued, "from this very spot we began our way back to each other. And from here I want to start a new life just with you." He stopped and said, "I know I have made many mistakes and you haven't had it easy because of them. I'm…"

Louise covered his mouth with her hand. She didn't want him to feel guilty for something that they really hadn't had any control over. The past was the past and she hated it if he'd punished himself for any of that. "Don't," she said, "it's fine, really."

Kid looked at her and knew that she was serious. He wanted her to know how sorry he was, but he understood that she knew already. He took her hand in his again and dropping down on one knee he said thickly, "Louise McCloud, will you marry me … again?

Lou was so emotional that her voice faltered. She dropped down on her knees and threw her arms around him. "Oh yes, yes, yes," she kept repeating. Kid was beaming happily and Lou held him in a close hug. She let go of him and looked him straight in the eyes. "You schemed all this?" she asked amused.

"Uh huh," Kid just said. He was feeling so happy that he felt unable to utter a proper word. He leaned over and kissed her long and softly on the lips.

When they pulled away, Lou was smiling radiantly and rose to her feet. "We have to do it soon," she began thoughtfully. "We can't wait too long if a baby's on the way." She giggled and coming closer to him she brushed her face against his. "I don't want to wait anyway. I want to be married to you." She kissed him lightly and as a thought struck her she exclaimed, "That's it!"

"What?" Kid asked.

"In two days I'm going to Blue Creek, you know, to get some things for my sister's big day," Louise explained and Kid nodded. "Something may just come up to make you leave Sweetwater for a couple of days or so. We meet in Blue Creek, and there we'll become husband and wife." Louise smiled broadly.

Kid did not like the idea at all. That was not the way he had envisioned their wedding. He wanted to share the greatest day in his life with his friends. "Like in secret, Lou?" Kid asked, not very happy. "No more secrets please. What about our friends?"

Louise sighed deeply and said, "Kid we already had a wedding, a big wedding. Everybody was there. But from the moment we left the church, misfortune had struck me ever since. I thought I was kind of jinxed." She stopped for a second remembering all her losses since that day. That boy Michael had died practically in her arms while she was still in her wedding dress. Then it had been Noah, the Pony Express shut down, her family disintegrated, Kid left for the south, she lost the baby. No, they hadn't been very lucky times. Now she seemed to have back something she had lost on the way. "Kid, it just matters to us."

"I don't know, Lou." Kid wasn't convinced yet. In a way, the idea of eloping sounded romantic but at the same time it felt as if they were trying to hide. There was nothing to hide or be ashamed of. And he was really getting tired of this hiding. He just wanted to shout how happy he felt; he just wanted the world to know how proud he was of having Lou's love.

"Besides," Lou continued, "Theresa is getting married in two weeks. It wouldn't be fair for her. Every girl deserves to feel unique and special on that day. I wouldn't dream of ruining that for her."

"What about you?" Kid asked, still unconvinced by her arguments.

"I already had my day. I felt unique and special," Lou said and added flirtingly, "Actually, I feel unique and special whenever I'm with you."

Her words finally disarmed him of any more arguments. How could he deny her anything? If that was what she wanted, they'd do it her way. He just wanted to be with her. He stared at her for a few moments and then said, "All right, we'll get married in Blue Creek."

Louise smiled broadly and clapped her hands happily. She hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear, "Oh Kid, I love you so much." Kid smiled and she remarked, "I promise that as soon as Theresa gets married, we'll tell everybody and have a nice celebration with the family."

"Uh huh," Kid just agreed. Now he would consent to anything as long as she was his and his alone. They kept locked in a close embrace, finding solace in each other's closeness and feeling like the luckiest couple in the world.

* * *

Louise got down from the buckboard. After his romantic proposal Kid had finally driven her to town and dropped her there. He had told Buck that he would pick up some things from Tompkins' but now he realized that the store was closed. He now remembered that the storeowner had told him the day before that today he wouldn't open his mercantile. Apparently he would be out of town the whole day. He didn't tell Lou anything, but thought ruefully how he would justify that he had been away for over an hour and be back empty-handed. Buck would surely be curious. He decided to disregard the thought. He would come up with something. After helping Lou off the wagon, he jumped on it, told Lou 'take care' and urged the horses forward, back to the ranch.

Louise waved at him and began moving along the street with her head turned, her attention still fixed on Kid. She really felt as if she was walking over the moon and since Kid's proposal she couldn't help giggling continuously. Distracted as she was Lou did not notice his presence until she bumped into no other than Captain Hoskins.

"Sorry!" she apologized and only then did she realize who the man was. "Afternoon, Captain."

Hoskins tipped his hat at her and said in his usual pompous way, "Louise. No need to apologize. If every time someone bumped into me, it would mean to have the pleasure of your presence, I would warmly welcome the intrusion." He looked at her for a moment and added, "You look lovely today, Louise."

Louise giggled and cursed inwardly. Today she seemed unable to do anything else than laugh foolishly. She just felt on top of the world but she didn't want to give the captain the impression that she was in a kind of flirting mood. Apparently the man seemed unaffected by her direct comments the other day. _'Some men never learn,'_Louise thought ruefully. She tried to get rid of him and said, "I'm in such a hurry. I'm meeting my friend Rachel and I'm already late."

"Then I'll see you on another occasion," the captain remarked politely as always.

In that moment Louise saw Rachel stepping out of her house. Lou and the captain had been talking just a few houses away from where Rachel lived. The older lady seemed to be checking if Lou was anywhere to be seen. "Oh there she is!" Lou exclaimed lively. "Hey, Rachel!" Lou called and waved at her.

Rachel turned to the voice calling her name and realized that it was Lou's. She also realized that her friend wasn't alone but in company with Captain Hoskins. She waved back at Lou and peered at her in a mesmerized way. _'April was right after all,'_Rachel thought. There Lou was, strangely jovial, with that man.

Louise ran to meet her friend, glad to get rid of the captain. When she reached Rachel, she realized that she had been quite rude and hadn't even bid good-bye to the man. She turned round and saw the man still on the same spot. "Good day, captain." Lou waved good-bye at him more enthusiastically that she had planned. She turned to her friend and said with a smile, "Hi, Rachel," and she stepped in the house, followed by her friend, who had a puzzled expression.

"Louise McCloud," Rachel exclaimed, visibly annoyed, "you're over an hour late!" She paused a moment but as Lou wasn't giving her any kind of explanation she asked, "Have you been chit-chatting with the captain all this time?" Rachel wasn't one to beat about the bush.

"'Course not, Rachel," Louise defended herself and added as an explanation to her tardiness. "Kid offered to drive me here but," she looked down, not daring to meet her friend's eyes, "we had some problem with … uh … the buckboard."

Rachel knew that she was lying. She knew Lou very well, too well sometimes. What was she talking about? Rachel thought. Kid? Lou was now using Kid to cover her lies? Rachel hadn't seen Kid, but she had seen Hoskins having a light-hearted conversation with Louise. Rachel couldn't be fooled. Lou looked as elated as when she had been with Kid. It was crystal clear. However, Rachel decided not to say anything else. She was really annoyed about her friend's lies, but if that was the way Lou wanted to deal with her affairs, it was up to her.

Louise was relieved that Rachel didn't ask any more questions about their problems with the buckboard. Even though Rachel was her best friend, her confidante, she just didn't want the older woman to know about Kid, not yet. She wasn't excited about them all thinking that she was having a romance with the captain either. She knew that they all had that idea in their minds. Louise didn't understand how they had come to that conclusion, but that was what they thought. Lou took off her hat and noticed Rachel watching her attentively.

"You look very smart today," Rachel said suspiciously.

Lou shrugged her shoulders in indifference. She was getting annoyed with everybody pestering her about the clothes she was wearing. She had just felt like dressing up a bit today. She really didn't have many opportunities to wear the lovely dresses that hung in her wardrobe and before now she hadn't felt like dressing up. Having lived in a continuous bleak mood for years, Louise really hadn't cared about what she wore and in fact hadn't cared about anything in general. Yet, now she wanted to look pretty for Kid. Today she had felt like dressing a bit more elegantly than usual even though she hadn't even known that Kid had planned to propose today. Thinking of Kid and their wedding brought a radiant smile to her face, which she tried to hide from Rachel. "I'm not working at the ranch, so I figured I'd wear something that made me look like a woman," she said.

The smile didn't go unnoticed to Rachel. Despite her initial doubts the lady was completely sure that Hoskins was Lou's beau. She had seen them together with her own eyes and Lou's light-hearted stance just confirmed Rachel's suspicions. Lou was in love.

Louise reached to place her hat on the hanger next to the door and something caught Rachel's eye. "Did you take off your wedding band?" Rachel asked surprised.

Louise looked down at her now bare hand. She had decided to take off the ring just a few days ago. She wasn't married to Kid and now he'd have to put the band on her finger again when they got married. "I'm not married any more, Rachel. So why wear a wedding band?" Louise said matter-of-factly.

"I see," Rachel just muttered. In a way it pained her to see that Lou had given up any hope to be with Kid again. Rachel couldn't imagine that Lou wished to be with anybody else rather than Kid. She had always thought that Kid and Lou just belonged together, that nothing or nobody could break what they had. Yet, apparently she had been wrong and she'd have to get used to the idea. Kid was already planning his wedding with that girl, Alice, and Louise was seeing somebody else. Everything had changed so much.

Rachel did not linger on the thought and steered Lou towards her drawing room. Lou sat down on the settee as Rachel hurried to the kitchen to make some more tea. The pot she had previously prepared was already cold after Lou's delay. Rachel came back to the drawing room and after having a seat next to Lou on the settee she exclaimed, "I have a surprise for you."

Lou's interest perked and she asked smilingly, "What surprise?"

Rachel smiled broadly and said, "I have five days off at work!" Lou looked at her, not understanding Rachel's meaning of surprise. The older woman continued, "That means I can go to Blue Creek with you and help you with the arrangements for Theresa's wedding."

Lou's face fell. That wasn't a surprise, rather a shock. Rachel couldn't come to Blue Creek with her. She was supposed to marry Kid there. She wanted it to be something intimate, just for the two of them. "Rachel," Lou tried to hide her disappointment, "you really don't need to come. I can manage, honestly."

However, Rachel was not easily discouraged. "Don't be silly. I want to go. We'll have the greatest time. I couldn't help you with Jeremiah and Isabel's wedding, you know. And Theresa is just like my little girl."

No, this wasn't going to be easy at all. Rachel couldn't be fooled. Lou just couldn't tell her the truth. She knew that Rachel wouldn't accept her plans of an intimate wedding. If Lou told her that she was with Kid and they were going to remarry, she would tell everybody and she'd insist on having all the preparations for the wedding. Rachel would surely ruin her plans. Lou just wanted to do this with Kid alone; it was just their day and she just wanted to share that day with him alone. She had been without him for so many years that nobody would blame her for wanting to have him for herself. Lou knew that Rachel and the rest of the family would be overjoyed when they learnt that she and Kid had patched things up. When she finally told them, Louise wanted it to be special. They would gather the family and just spill the beans. She just didn't want to let it out in one girlish chat.

Louise breathed in, mustered some courage and said, "Sorry, Rachel, but you can't come."

Rachel looked at her with hurtful eyes, "Why?"

Louise flinched at seeing her friend's painful expression. She felt terrible but she just couldn't tell her. "Just because," Lou muttered ashamed.

Rachel looked at her, not believing what Lou was telling her. She peered straight in her friend's bright eyes and then she understood. "Three's company, Lou?" Rachel asked, not caring to hide her annoyance from Louise.

Lou lowered her eyes but didn't say a word. Rachel let out a sigh and said, "We used to tell each other everything. What happened, Lou?"

That really hurt. Lou felt guilty for having secrets from Rachel. She looked up and exclaimed, "We still do, Rachel. But I can't tell you about this."

Rachel looked very annoyed and rose up. "I'll see to the tea," she said gloomily. She headed for the kitchen and Lou called her name. Rachel turned to her and Louise dashed to her side. Taking hold of her friend's hands Lou said warmly, "Rachel, I promise I'll tell you everything when I come back. Honestly."

"Sure," Rachel replied sarcastically. She let go of Lou's hands and disappeared into the kitchen. Lou hung her head and sighed audibly. Suddenly Rachel popped her head round the door and said, "Louise?"

Lou looked up and Rachel approached her. She peered at Lou in the eyes and asked, "Are you happy?"

Louise smiled widely and exclaimed, "Immensely happy."

On hearing her answer Rachel grinned radiantly and added, "I'll make us some strong tea." She reentered the kitchen and without realizing she began laughing.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Buck was finishing hitching up the wagon when Louise appeared carrying a carpet bag. She was wearing a smart two-piece suit. She had had it for some years now, but, as it was kind of a traveling suit, she hadn't worn it very often. When she had put it on just now, she had been pleasantly surprised as she hadn't been able to do up the top bottom of the skirt. She couldn't believe that she was getting bigger already. She couldn't deny the evidence. She was definitely pregnant but she'd see a doctor in Blue Creek anyway. Fortunately, the jacket she was wearing was long enough to hide her undone skirt.

Buck looked up from his crouched position. He was checking the horse's hooves and he rose to his feet as he saw Lou appear. "Ready?" he asked her. He was driving her to town where she could take the stage coach to Blue Creek.

Louise nodded and added, "Buck, sorry to leave you on your own. With Kid gone to Saint Joseph, I feel guilty for having to go too."

"I think I'll manage," Buck reassured her.

"When is he due back anyway?" Lou asked. She obviously knew, but she asked him anyway. It wasn't as if Buck would suspect that she was going to meet him secretly. Everybody would be so surprised if they knew.

"In a couple of days, I think," Buck answered. Kid had told everybody that he was meeting some businessman in St. Joseph. It wasn't a rare occurrence at the ranch. When Kid hadn't been around, Buck had accepted to meet any possible potential buyers outside Sweetwater if Lou didn't feel like going herself. Now that Kid was back it was him that sometimes had to leave the ranch. So it hadn't surprised anybody when Kid had told them about his visit to St. Joseph.

Buck helped Lou onto the wagon and as he sat next to her, Lou said, "Thank you for taking me to town, Buck."

"No problem," he answered, "but I thought you'd take your horse. Never seen you traveling in the stage before."

"Well," Louise hesitated. Buck was right, but she couldn't tell him that she couldn't ride because she was pregnant. "It would be more convenient if I have to bring back lots of luggage. I have a whole list of things to buy."

"You women," Buck remarked teasingly and then he said, "Now that I think of it, I haven't seen you ride lately. You sick?"

Louise let out a nervous giggle and muttered, "Just lazy." She smiled at him, praying that he stopped asking these inquisitive questions. Everybody seemed so curious about her affairs lately. Buck didn't buy her lie completely. He knew how much Lou loved to ride, but he opted not to say anything. He looked ahead and urged the horse forward.

* * *

The stagecoach pulled over as it made its entrance in Blue Creek. Louise felt relieved to have reached her destination. She just hated to travel in those tiny cabins, and be forced to share the scarce room with strangers. There was nothing like feeling the air in your face when riding. It gave her such a sense of freedom. She really missed all the sensations that riding offered her but now she had to make some allowances for her well-being.

As she got ready to leave the stage, her face lit as she saw that Kid was already waiting for her. He approached the coach and stretched his hand to help her get off. She took his hand and jumped off the vehicle. He was looking at her in the eyes, oblivious to anybody or anything. The coach driver approached them with her bag and Kid took it from him.

"I'll carry that," he said without averting his gaze from Lou. "I missed you."

Louise smiled and whispered, "Me too."

"You must be tired," Kid said as he hooked Lou's arm around his. "I'll take you to our room and you can freshen up and have some rest."

Louise smiled radiantly and asked straight away, "Did you go to the registry office?"

Kid nodded and added, "The Justice of the Peace will be waiting for us this afternoon."

"Great," Lou exclaimed. She couldn't wait to become Kid's wife again. She knew she was giggling like a fool but she didn't care. It had been so long since she had felt so alive. When Kid had left for the war, he had taken something with him. Since they first met in the Pony Express, Lou had got used to having him around. She had never really given any thought to how much Kid meant in her life. It wasn't till he wasn't around any more that Lou realized how much she loved her husband and how empty she was without him. She had felt dead during all these years, and now that Kid was in her life again, she had recovered what she had lost with his departure.

Kid looked her in the eyes intently and asked playfully, "May I escort you to the hotel, Miss?"

"You may," Lou answered amused. She wouldn't be called 'Miss' much longer and the thought brought a smile to her lips. She held his arm tightly and let him steer her towards the hotel.

At two o'clock on the dot Kid and Lou arrived at the registry office. The Justice was waiting for them and let them in. Louise realized that this was so different to her first wedding to Kid. The room where the man had shown them in was quite cold and bare of furniture except for a desk and some shelves. In contrast, the day she had first married Kid, the church was full of friends and acquaintances and the inside had been decorated with fresh flowers, which left a sweet aroma in the air. She still could remember the smell from that day. It was something that she would never forget. Today Louise wasn't wearing a lace wedding dress either. She had donned a simple cream calico dress. She had loved her wedding dress but today she really didn't want any trimmings. She just wanted to appear before him as she really was, just a woman. That was why she had chosen that plain dress of hers. She cast a glimpse at Kid. He really looked handsome as that day years ago when they had stood before Teaspoon.

The Justice looked through the documents that they had brought with them and remarked, "You were married and got a divorce just recently!"

Kid and Lou looked at each other shyly and Kid said, "It's a very long story, sir. We just want to get married again."

"Very well then," the man said. He had never met anybody who wanted to marry the same person after divorcing them. _'The world is full of crazy people,'_he thought.

The wedding service was quick and to the point. The man didn't seem eager to lengthen the procedure more than necessary. He wasn't like Teaspoon at all. The marshal had talked for England in their wedding but his words had been so sweet that Louise still kept them in her memory. The boys had all been with them on that special day and they had all looked so handsome in their suits. Rachel had been so patient and had calmed her down when she had been so nervous before the service. Oh, she was missing Teaspoon, Rachel and the rest already. Anyway, she wouldn't like them to be in this same room with them right now. Everything was so stiff and cold. It was just a formality. She would never think of this as her wedding. She had married Kid years ago and that was the wedding she would keep in her heart. That was where she had shared her happiest moment with the rest of the family. In that moment her heart sank. She realized that this wedding would be the only one Kid would know and remember. He didn't have any recollections of their first one. All of sudden, she felt so selfish. She had robbed Kid from having a proper wedding. He would just remember that they got married in a cold registry office.

Louise looked at him with a hurtful expression. Kid turned to her, his eyes showing the emotion he was feeling. She hadn't been paying attention to the last words of the Justice and before she knew what was happening, Kid leaned over and kissed her on the lips gently. They didn't linger on the kiss. They felt a bit self-conscious in front of the Justice and his two daughters who had acted as witnesses. Kid pulled away and whispered in her ear, "I love you, Mrs. McCloud." Louise was too moved to say anything. She just looked at him with big eyes and Kid smiled at her. He turned to the Justice and shook hands with the man and his two daughters. Lou handed her posy of wild flowers to the youngest girl and then they took their leave.

Kid took her hand in his and began walking along Blue Creek's main street. Kid was smiling from ear to ear. He hadn't felt this happy before. He looked down to their clutched hands and could see the wedding bands shining. Finally, they had done it. She was his wife and they would be together forever. He beamed proudly and looked into her eyes. He noticed that she had a very serious countenance. It dawned on him that she hadn't spoken a single word since they had left the registry office.

"Are you all right, Lou?" Kid asked. His previous joyful mood had changed all of a sudden on watching his wife's bitter expression.

"Yeah, fine," Lou answered, not really paying any heed to him. She felt him stiff at her side and turned her eyes to him.

"Aren't you happy?" Kid almost choked at saying the words. Had he done something to upset her? Why didn't she look so blissful as he was feeling?

She made him stop and turned to face him. She brushed his face with her hand but Kid kept his eyes downcast. It pained her to realize that he was thinking that he wasn't making her happy. "Please don't say that. I really am happy."

Kid looked at her with a pained expression and said, "Then what?"

"Oh Kid, I'm so sorry," Lou exclaimed. "You were right. That place was so cold. I've deprived you of a magical day and that's the only wedding you'll remember."

Kid smiled relieved and came to hug her briefly, "It wasn't so bad, Lou. I found it quite romantic, the two of us alone, like in novels." She smiled at him and Kid continued. "Anyway, the important bit is that I am married to you for the better and the worse, Mrs. McCloud."

Kid laughed happily and Lou joined in. Then he added softly. "And we have two whole days just for the two of us."

Louise smiled broadly at his reference. They had two complete days before he had to return to Sweetwater. She was going to make sure that she enjoyed every single minute. She took hold of his hand again and said happily, "Let's go, Mr. McCloud."

* * *

After their wedding Kid had talked Lou into going to a doctor's office. Lou was almost sure that she was with child but they needed a physician's confirmation. Besides, Kid wanted to know that Louise was all right. The doctor's office was on the town's main street. It was a small surgery and when they entered, there were a couple of ladies waiting to see the doctor in the small reception. Lou made an impatient gesture. This wasn't the way she had planned to spend her time with Kid after their wedding. She didn't say anything. They had no other option but waste precious minutes waiting in the doctor's office. The nurse welcomed them warmly and Kid let her know that they would like to see the doctor.

While they were waiting, Lou felt more and more nervous. She began wringing her hands uncontrollably. A thought had stricken her. What if she wasn't pregnant after all? She may have misinterpreted the signs. Yeah, she had put on some weight and missed her period. She also felt pretty tired lately. But other than that she was like always. She hadn't felt sick or dizzy except just once, and that might have been due to anything. Anyway, she had barely felt sickness the first time either. But she could be wrong about her pregnancy. What if she wasn't pregnant? The thought kept repeating on her mind. Would Kid have married her anyway? _Stop being silly_, Lou scolded herself, _he loves you_. However, the thought didn't calm her down. She kept wringing her hands nervously. Then she felt a hand over hers. She looked up at Kid and he said smilingly, "Stop it! Everything will be fine."

Louise nodded and in that instant the nurse told her that Doctor Mölller would see her now. Louise rose to her feet and squeezed Kid's hand tightly. Kid repeated his reassurance, "Lou, everything will be all right." She didn't say a word and let herself in the doctor's office while Kid waited for her in the small waiting room. She knew that he was as nervous as she was even though he wasn't showing it.

The doctor received her with an ample smile. He was about fifty years-old and had a placid chubby face. When he greeted her, Louise noticed that the man had a pronounced German accent. He talked in an amiable way, which calmed Lou's nervousness down a bit.

After the examination Doctor Möller motioned Lou to take a seat as he sat at his desk. He put on his glasses and looked at Lou intently. She had unconsciously begun wriggling her hands again as the man addressed her.

"Mrs … uh,"

"McCloud," Lou filled him in.

"Mrs. McCloud," the doctor continued, "you …" He was talking when Lou cut him off mid-sentence.

"My husband is outside." Nervous as she was, Louise had forgotten about Kid. She really wanted him to be with her when the doctor told her whatever he had to say. And right now she just needed to feel him next to her and squeeze his hand tightly.

"Very well," Doctor Möller said, "you call him."

Lou quickly rose to her feet and popped her head out. She directed her eyes towards where she had left Kid sitting a few moments ago but the seat was bare. She realized that he had moved over and had taken a seat at the other end. He had his elbows resting on his legs and was squeezing his hat in his hands. Lou tried to stifle a smile. He looked so nervous, as nervous as she was feeling. She called his name, "Kid!" He looked up and cast her quizzical glimpse. She motioned him to come in and Kid followed after her.

"Mr. McCloud," the doctor greeted and shook hands with Kid. "Please take a seat."

Kid sat down on the chair next to Louise. He smiled at her and took hold of her hand tightly. They both stared at the physician with big eyes in anticipation. The good doctor took his time and Lou felt like shouting at him out of patience. Finally, Doctor Möller cleared his throat and said seriously, "Mr. and Mrs. McCloud," he stopped for a second and then continued, "you're to become parents according to my calculations at the end of September."

"Oh," Louise exclaimed thrilled, not finding her own voice. She noticed Kid squeezing her hand hard and she glanced at him sideways. He was smiling broadly, and Louise found herself grinning with him.

"I hope it's good news," the doctor said tentatively. In his long experience he knew that the prospect of a baby wasn't always a cause of happiness. He had seen the long faces of single expectant mothers. Even married couples received the news as a shock when they had already a big family to raise.

"The best news," Kid said smilingly and then added with a worried expression, "Is everything all right with Louise? I mean, is my wife fine?"

Lou smiled at hearing the worry in his voice. It moved her to see that his first thought was concerning her well-being.

"Everything's just fine. You needn't worry, young man," the doctor reassured him.

Louise spoke for the first time, hesitant about how to approach her own worries. "Uh … I had a miscarriage years ago. Is …," her voice faltered. She didn't know how to put her fears into words. She didn't want to think that it might happen again.

"I wouldn't worry, Mrs. McCloud," the doctor understood her concerns. "Many first pregnancies don't make it to the end. The woman's body feels this new life as a discordant, strange element and sometimes the body kind of dejects that element. But with the second pregnancy the body is completely ready. There's nothing to worry about. Just eat and sleep properly and that's it." The doctor explained patiently.

"Really?" Lou asked surprised. She was really grateful for the doctor's kind words. She couldn't help feeling apprehensive because of what had happened years ago. She had blamed herself for a long time and always thought that she could somehow have done something to avoid it. But maybe the doctor was right, and it might have happened regardless of anything.

The doctor nodded and asked, "How long have you two been married?"

Kid cast a troubled look at Lou. It was silly but he had frozen at the doctor's question. He couldn't say that they had got married just half an hour ago. The man might think that he had married her just because he had felt forced to. Kid knew that they would probably never see this doctor again but he didn't like anybody to think that. Kid was fumbling for words, for a way to shun the question when Louise spoke up, "We've been married for almost seven years now."

Kid looked at her and smiled. He squeezed her hand reassuringly and Lou continued, "Then the war broke out and my husband enlisted. He was wounded but … well... things are getting back to normal now."

"Wars!" the doctor exclaimed. "Nothing good comes out of them. It destroys men, families, our dreams… "

Lou couldn't agree more with the kind doctor. The war had almost ripped them apart. It had driven Kid out of her life and he came back as a stranger. She had been shattered and bitter for so long. She still couldn't believe that she was his wife again. She had thought that she had lost him forever. But life had given them another opportunity.

The doctor turned to Kid and said, "So now you're back, Mr McCloud?"

Kid smiled broadly and looking at Lou intently in the eyes he said, "Yes, I'm back. I'm definitely back."

The visit to the doctor had left them elated. Kid couldn't believe that he was to become a father in just a few months. It sounded so incredible to his ears. He just couldn't ask for anything else. Since he had come back to Sweetwater, his life was getting better and better. He had recovered everything he had lost on the way, his ranch, his friends and family, and especially Lou. She had been the best gift that life could ever have granted him, and now they were going to have a baby. Kid couldn't feel any happier. He just hoped that everything would be fine with Lou and her pregnancy. The doctor had eased their fears but Kid couldn't help but worry about her.

They made their way to the hotel and climbed the stairs towards their room. Kid fumbled for the keys and when he finally found them and unlocked the door, he realized that Lou had fallen back. She was advancing slowly towards him and was counting something on her fingers, completely lost in her thoughts.

"What are you doing? Kid asked amused.

She looked up at him and said, "The baby's due at the end of September."

At the mention of their baby Kid smiled broadly and added, "Yes, I heard the doctor."

"That means," Louise continued thoughtful, "I must have got pregnant around Christmas time." She looked at him narrowly and punching his arm playfully she exclaimed, "You might have gotten me pregnant that night we got so drunk!"  
Kid laughed heartily and Lou added as an afterthought, "You could have walked out on me after that night, and now I'd be pregnant and on my own!"

Kid smiled and brushed his hand against her cheek, "You know I'd never have done something like that to you." Louise grinned at his sweet gesture and his words, and Kid added, "And I'll tell you a secret," he paused and then said, "I wasn't drunk."

"You weren't?" Lou asked surprised and Kid shook his head no. "Of course you were!" Lou exclaimed. "We both were."

Kid shook his head no again and added, "I wasn't, Lou. I knew what I was doing all the time. We barely had a couple of glasses of wine. It's incredible how much it affected you!"

"But," Lou wasn't convinced yet, "we opened a second bottle; I remember that."

"Lou, you knocked it over and the wine spilled all over the table," Kid explained.

Now that Kid was talking about the night she was beginning to recall the details. She laughed at her own clumsiness. She had behaved completely improperly that night; she usually didn't lose control over herself. Lou looked at Kid narrowly and added teasingly, "Then you took advantage of me, a poor drunk woman!"

Kid smiled shyly at her words. That night had been so special that he did remember everything so neatly. He had thought that she had been faking, that she wasn't as affected as she looked, but he had been wrong. Kid leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. He looked at her intently and asked, "Didn't you want me to take advantage?"

"Oh definitely," Lou exclaimed heartily.

Kid laughed at her sincerity. That was what he loved about her. Any other woman might have pretended to feel offended at his blunt words. But not Lou. She just blurted out what she really thought or felt. There weren't any guessing games with her. Everything was so straightforward. It was her sincerity that got her into trouble most of the time. Kid remembered her confrontations with her sister, McDowell or even that poor chap, Captain Hoskins. Yet, Kid just loved her for that. She was so utterly fresh and unaffected.

Kid kept staring at her completely dazzled and Lou cast him a quizzical look, her arms akimbo, "Well?" she asked, "Aren't you going to take advantage of this old married woman, Mr. McCloud?"

Kid laughed again. They were standing in front of their room. He bent to kiss her once again, this time full on her lips. He picked her up in his arms swiftly and said, "This is a night neither of us will ever forget." Louise smiled and locked her eyes in his as he carried her inside and kicked the door shut.

* * *

They had been the two most wonderful days that Lou had ever lived. She just couldn't get enough of him. They had enjoyed every single moment together. This time there were no worries; she just felt so free and careless. When they had got married the first time, it hadn't felt so right. Yeah, she had been very happy at the time but things hadn't turned out very well. In the first week of their married life, they had attended two funerals in a row, Noah's and that boy's, Michael. People were dying and the war was imminent. They had even had to call their honeymoon off. The outlook had been barely promising and with time things had worsened. Yet, now nothing was threatening their new life together. The future lay ahead of them, spotless. No worries this time. They deserved some happiness, some breathing space; life owed them big. Louise felt scared all of a sudden. Everything seemed so perfect that she was afraid that this streak wouldn't last. She was so used to receiving blows that she couldn't believe that somehow things wouldn't go wrong. _'Oh Louise, you're getting paranoid,' _she scolded herself. _'Everything's gonna be fine.'_

She was watching Kid get his gear ready. He was leaving today, and she already missed him. Kid cast her a sideways glance, and noticing her sad eyes he added, "Lou, it will only be two days."

She approached him and wrapped her arms around his torso. "I don't want you to go," she pouted. "I'll be so lonely here." It surprised her how much she needed him. She was practically begging him not to leave her. This was all so new to her. She had always felt proud of her independent spirit, but now she felt that she just wanted to be with him.

Kid smiled and tilted her head towards him. "Lou, you know I have to go. Buck is counting on my return. It wouldn't be fair for him. And you still have to buy all your sister's trousseau," Kid said. He hated to leave Lou after the two wonderful days they had spent together. They had had time to relax, to go for walks and enjoyed romantic moments with each other. Louise seemed to have forgotten the initial reason why she was in Blue Creek. She hadn't mentioned anything about her sister's wedding at all.

Louise disengaged herself from Kid's hold and said ruefully, "I know." She really wasn't thrilled about spending those two days shopping. She had a whole list of things to buy, and she hadn't even decided yet what present she'd give Theresa and her fiancé. She wished she had let Rachel tag along. Her friend was always full of ideas and Louise would really have welcomed her company. It was in moments like this when Lou missed her mother the most. She had been very young when her ma had died. In a way Lou felt that she had missed part of her upbringing. She really hadn't had a feminine model to follow, especially in her adolescent days. The nuns at the orphanage had been very nice, but Louise felt that it wasn't the same. That void, though, had been filled to a certain extent thanks to Emma and Rachel, especially Rachel who had been with her during all these years, but she still felt that she would never plug that gap that her mother had left.

Kid approached her and slipped his arms around her waist. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Lou smiled and looked at him intently. "I'll be waiting for you," Kid said, "at home."

Louise beamed at the reference. At home. It sounded so perfect. She had never really given it a thought but it had been a while since she had really felt at home. Yeah, she was quite proud of her house and liked her place, but since her siblings weren't around any more, it didn't feel like home. She returned to her empty house at the end of the day, and she felt like a stranger between those four walls. Nobody was waiting for her and she felt so lonely, but now Kid would be there with her and they would raise their child or any others they'd have there. The house would definitely recover that warmth that had been lost. Louise stood on tiptoe and planted a big kiss on his lips. She disengaged herself from his hold and pushed him away. "Go now before I get all sloppy."

Kid smiled and picked up his gear. He headed for the door and as he was about to exit, he cast a last look at Lou and said, "Take care … of you two."

Louise turned her big eyes towards him but he had already disappeared. She wrapped her arms around her body and for the first time she felt she wasn't alone any more.

* * *

The two days in Blue Creek had flown by. In a way she had enjoyed her time alone, without responsibilities, without fears. It had been a while since her mind wasn't full of worries. Now everything seemed to go smoothly. Kid was back in her life in every sense; the ranch was now void of problems; she had solved her differences with her sister and the best of all was that she was to become a mother. What else could she ask for?

Lou had really enjoyed buying all the pretty things for her sister. She had spared no expense. Theresa would have the best. Lou still couldn't believe that her little sister was getting married. Not long ago she had been just a little girl and she had grown up so quickly. Theresa had become a beautiful woman. She was very intelligent and determined. She was doing so well at college and Lou couldn't have felt prouder. Louise thought that she was so different from Theresa. Fortunately, her little sister hadn't suffered the things Lou had to face. Theresa had passed from the safe hands of the nuns at the orphanage to the safety of Lou's home. Louise felt that she herself had quite a wild upbringing. She hadn't enjoyed much in her teenage years. She had had to work very hard and had grown quicker than most young girls. However, Louise wasn't sorry for missing all that at all. Her sacrifices had allowed her to take her siblings out of the orphanage and offer them a better life.

Louise remembered the day she and Kid had picked them up. She would never forget their happy faces, and Kid had been so understanding and sweet. He never said a word against her plans. On the contrary, he had been the first to bring up the subject about her siblings. He had been more than ready to take the children in. She had foolishly feared that he wouldn't welcome the intrusion of the kids in their recent marriage. Any other man would have wanted some privacy with his new bride, but Kid knew how much this meant to her and he was more than happy to have the children around.

Time had gone by so quickly. They weren't children any more, and now hey had grown and began their own lives. Theresa would be a married woman in ten days and Lou hoped that her sister would be as happy as she felt right now. She knew that her sister was absolutely excited and thrilled about her coming wedding. Lou just hoped that Theresa would have things smoother that she had at least for a while.

Yeah, she had really enjoyed the two days in town, but now she wasn't enjoying the return journey home in the stagecoach at all. If the one towards Blue Creek had been tiring and, in one word, horrible, this one was even worse. She had found herself squeezed on the coach seat between a really big lady and a man who looked and smelled as if he hadn't touched water in his whole life. On top of everything, she was feeling really nauseous. In the last couple of days she had been sick. It seemed as if the baby was trying to make her aware of its presence. The movement of the vehicle, her uneasiness and the warmth inside didn't make things easier and she was feeling dizzy and on the verge of actually being sick. She just couldn't wait for the end of this horrendous journey.

Louise peeked out of the window and saw the landscape that was so familiar to her. She breathed out relieved. Soon she'd be home. Before she knew, the stage coach pulled over and the driver called the place of her destination. The coach always passed by near her ranch, so Louise had asked the driver to drop her before heading for town. Lou managed to escape from the pressure of her seat and got off the coach, feeling elated to have reached home finally and to be able to breathe some fresh air. The driver handed her the carpet bag with her personal belongings. She had brought more luggage, but she couldn't carry it all on her own. Later she would send one of the boys to town to collect the rest of the things.

Louise waved the driver good-bye and set for her home. She wasn't far. It wouldn't take her more than ten minutes to set feet on her ranch. Right now she felt much better. To be in the open after being confined in that crowded vehicle for so many hours was doing her real good. She was so looking forward to seeing Kid. It had been just a couple of days but she had missed him so much. She smiled broadly as she caught sight of the windmill, which meant she was finally home. Louise quickened her step and the most wonderful view appeared before her eyes. Her home. She continued walking, already on the property. When she was closer, she stopped dead in her tracks, surprised at what she was seeing. "What the hell is that?" she asked aloud.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Lou was still half-way to the ranch, staring at the group of people who was in animated conversation in the middle of her yard. As Louise took in everything, she heard her name being called loudly, "Louise!" Then she saw the girl running towards her at full speed and on reaching Lou, she threw her arms around her.

"Oh Louise I'm so glad to see you!" Theresa exclaimed. She held her sister's hand in her own and squeezed it warmly.

Lou was baffled at seeing her sister and the group gathered in front of the bunkhouse. She scanned every one of the people. Buck, Teaspoon, Rachel and April were there, which wasn't an extraordinary event, but she hadn't expected to see the other faces at her ranch. She took her time and looked at each one of them. Jimmy and Cody were there, chatting amicably with Buck; Emma, who she hadn't seen in such a long time, was laughing at something Teaspoon must have said. Finally, her eyes fell on the boy, well, he wasn't a boy any longer. Her brother was there with his wife. When Theresa had scampered towards her sister, the group's attention had turned to Lou, and they were smiling broadly.

Lou looked at Theresa, still with a puzzled expression. She hadn't expected her sister so soon as the wedding was in two Saturdays from now. Theresa had sent her a telegram before Lou's departure to Blue Creek saying that she would be arriving the following Tuesday, but apparently, she had changed her mind as she had arrived five days in advance.

"What are you doing here? And them?" Lou finally managed to ask.

Theresa smiled broadly and said, "There's been a slight change of plans. The wedding is this Saturday."

"What!" Louise exclaimed aghast at her words. Was she crazy or what? There was no time to prepare a wedding in such a short time. There was so much to do.

"Joseph's father … well … his regiment's been transferred to the north. He must leave next Monday, so we thought of moving the wedding forward," Theresa explained.

_'Great,'_ Lou thought sarcastically, _'the man's really a spoiler.'_Despite her inner voice, she opted for keeping her opinion to herself. The last time she had spoken her mind about the man, everything had ended up in a complete disaster. Theresa and she had fallen out, and it had taken months and dozens of letters to get her sister back. "But, Theresa, there's so much…," Louise began but her sister cut her off.

"Everything's been taken care of. The girls helped." She smiled and taking the carpet bag from Lou, Theresa hooked her arm around her sister's and began to steer her forward.

Lou smiled at watching how pleased and happy Theresa looked. It felt so right to talk to her again as if nothing had happened. Louise had been so worried about the way things had turned out, and now she felt relieved that her big mouth hadn't spoiled everything between Theresa and her. Louise looked ahead and heard Cody shouting in their direction. "Hey, Lou, aren't you going to greet these old friends of yours?"

Lou laughed heartily. She was really glad that Cody wasn't mad at her for the way she had treated him and Jimmy the last time they had come around. She had been so rude and bitter. She couldn't believe that she had behaved in such a way with her friends. The pain had been stronger than she had let on, and she had taken it on her friend and in a way her sister too. Louise ran to hug both Jimmy and Cody and exclaimed, "I'm really glad you boys are here!"

Jimmy looked at her and asked the same question he had the last time he had seen her, "How are you, Lou?"

Louise smiled broadly, her eyes shining happily. "I'm great, Jimmy."

This time Hickok did not doubt her words. He knew her, and knew that she was telling him the truth. She looked much better than the last time, and Jimmy wondered what had changed to make her feel so well. He could tell that things with Kid were still the same. He hadn't dared to ask anybody about the matter but as nobody had surprised him with any good news about those two, Jimmy assumed that nothing really had changed.

Louise turned to Emma now, who was smiling at her. "Oh Emma!" she exclaimed and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I've missed you so much. It's been so long!"

Emma laughed happily and said, "Me too, Loulabelle."

Lou was getting really emotional. Her pregnancy was really making her weepy, especially seeing friends so special to her after such a long time. She managed to get a grip of herself and asked, "Where's Sam?"

"Oh, he stayed home with the girls," Emma answered amused. She really wondered how her husband was getting on with their two daughters. She just hoped that after these few days she still had a house to go home to. "I really deserved this time just for myself and … the rest of my family."

Louise smiled broadly and turned to her brother and his wife. She took hold of their hands warmly. "Oh Jeremiah." She needn't say anything else as her brother understood what she was feeling at having him at home again. He approached, and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"We both are glad to see you, Louise," Isabel, her brother's wife, said.

Lou couldn't believe that she had all her family with her. It had been so long since they had been together. There was always someone missing. Not even today she could say that she had all her family, some of the gaps could never be filled again, unfortunately. It was good to see the rest today, though. Suddenly, a thought struck her.

"Ain't it almost like old times, Lou?" Teaspoon was saying.

Lou's smile had faded as a thought crossed her mind. 'Where's Kid?' she wondered. She could see all the boys working around the ranch, but she didn't see her husband anywhere. With all the surprise, she hadn't given him any thought but then, out of the corner of her eye she saw him leaving the barn carrying a saddle. Her face lit again as she saw him. She noticed that the rest were engaged in idle chatter once again and she dared to make a shy gesture of greeting to him.

As soon as Kid saw her, he dropped the saddle and stomped towards her. He had missed her terribly in the last two days. It had seemed as if they had no end. Now Louise was back, and all he wanted was to take her into his arms and kiss her. However, he couldn't act on his impulses since he had promised Lou, or rather Lou had made him promise, that they would tell everybody just after Theresa's wedding. So he had to continue with this nonsense game they had started. Kid reached the group outside the bunkhouse and addressed her, "Hello, Louise. How are you?"

Louise felt her cheeks go red. He always had such an effect on her. She knew that the rest were paying them close attention. It was natural for some of them to feel curious how she and Kid got on after all that had happened. She lowered her head, hoping that nobody would notice her flushed cheeks. "I'm fine, thanks," Lou said and looking up at Kid she asked. "How did you get on in Seneca?" she asked, remembering the lie they had told everybody to excuse Kid's absence from the ranch. He supposedly had some promising business opportunity in the city.

"All right," Kid answered, without much enthusiasm. He had an amused expression.

"Seneca is a fine city, a lot to see and do," she blabbered on, feeling self-conscious about the looks the rest were casting in her direction. She really didn't know how to act around Kid in front of all of them. She really felt awkward and knew she was talking a lot of nonsense.

She continued talking about the good qualities of the city, but at the end of her tirade Kid said, "I went to Saint Joseph, not Seneca, remember?" Kid grinned mischievously.

Lou looked daggers at him. She had blundered it and he had let her go on without stopping her in front of everybody. "Oh…" Lou felt embarrassed and unable to find her own voice. "I... I forgot," she finally managed to say and looked narrowly at him, not very pleased with his antics. However, she couldn't help but smile at seeing his bemused expression. She just wanted to be alone with him right now; she needed to kiss him and feel his kisses all over her. Her cheeks blushed at her own thoughts again, and she said, " Uh … Kid, why don't you tell me everything about Saint Joseph in my place?" She felt that she could steal some minutes with him, away from curious eyes.

Louise gestured Kid to follow her but all of a sudden, Theresa spoke up, "No!" The girl looked angrily at Kid and then turned to her sister. "Let him take care of those things for the moment." She took Lou by the arm and began to steer her towards the house. Lou was so baffled at Theresa's sudden actions that she couldn't even protest. "I need some quality time with you, Louise. Just let the ranch be for these days at least."

Theresa kept babbling about her wedding, her guests and her fiancé all the way to the house. Louise did not have another option but to follow her sister in her tracks. Lou was practically being dragged to the house and away from Kid, which made Lou annoyed to say the least. She only wanted a few minutes with her husband, but it seemed that Theresa wanted Lou all for herself. Fortunately, she would have Kid at night when everybody else was sleeping as usual.

Theresa stepped into her sister's house and Louise stumbled after her. The girl was still talking, but Lou had stopped paying attention to her words minutes ago. She couldn't keep track of everything she said. Besides, Louise was exhausted from the horrible journey she had to endure. She would really welcome some rest but she suspected that it wouldn't be easy. Then something Theresa was saying caught her attention.

"What did you say?" Lou asked.

Theresa smiled her widest smile and explained, "I said that Jeremiah and Isabel are staying in my old room. It's much bigger and lighter than Jeremiah's, especially for a young married couple. And you remember my housemate Stacy?"

Lou nodded. Of course she remembered the girl. After Kid's return she had fled and spent over six months with Theresa and her friend.

"Well," Theresa continued her ramblings, "originally she was going to stay in Jeremiah's room, but then we decided she's staying with Rachel and Emma's staying with us." Lou was finding it hard to follow her sister's detailed elaborations. "And," Theresa added with a bit of a smile, "we'll be sharing your bed. Isn't it great? It will be like when we were kids."

Louise turned around so that her sister did not see her expression of disappointment. "Yeah, great," Lou mumbled. She had been looking forward to spending the night with her husband. Even though her house was full of people for the big event, she'd have found a way to slip him inside. Yet, now there was no way since she was stuck with Theresa. Lou felt glad to have Theresa's company, especially now that she was getting married and logically she'd see less of her sister from now on, but Lou also wanted to spend some time with her husband. She cursed herself for deciding to keep quiet about her and Kid. Now there was no way back even though she was dying to tell everybody that she and Kid had married. It wouldn't be fair for Theresa. It was her time. She had to be the centre of attention, and Lou wouldn't dream of ruining that for her.

Theresa approached her sister. Both girls were face to face and taking hold of Lou's hands Theresa said, "Louise, I'm really sorry for what I said about you and Kid. I…"

Lou did not let her finish and shushed her, "There's no need to apologize, honey. We both said things we didn't mean."

Theresa smiled at her sister and added, "I just know that he's a fool for letting you go."

Lou blushed at hearing Theresa's words. She shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what to tell her sister. She smiled and just said, "Come here," and both sisters held each other in a warm embrace.

* * *

The day had passed so quickly. Even though Louise had tried to find a suitable opportunity, she hadn't been able to spend a single minute with Kid alone. There had always been someone around. She had tried the barn, the bunkhouse, even the corrals, but to no avail. Whenever she thought that she and Kid would be able to at least talk, just the two of them, somebody appeared out of the blue. In the bunkhouse Emma had shown up, apparently she'd taken over Lou's tasks, arguing that she must be tired after the long journey. Lou really appreciated her help gladly and she was really tired, but Emma's good intentions had spoiled her moment with Kid as well. On top of it all, as Kid had left them, Lou had to dodge Emma's questions skillfully. The older woman was sincerely concerned about Lou after hearing about Kid's special return in Lou's letters. Her interest and curiosity were natural. Lou did not want to lie to her, and as soon as she could, she made some excuse and left the place and Emma.

The same story had happened in different occasions. If it wasn't Buck, Jimmy or Cody, it was just Theresa. Lou was quite irritated and she could tell Kid wasn't much happier either. She hadn't even been able to give him a single kiss since they were in Blue Creek. Besides, Theresa was driving her crazy. The girl had decided to organize her sister's time, and Lou sometimes felt she couldn't keep up with Theresa's stressful pace. After a tedious lunch with her sister's 'lovely' in-laws, Lou had found herself dragged along to town. They had to see the priest, the cook in the restaurant and several more people that Lou had already forgotten.

Apart from Theresa's hectic schedule, Louise had to stall Rachel as best as she could. She had told her friend that she'd tell her everything after her return. Lou had meant what she had said, but she just needed to dodge Rachel just a bit more. Louise had noticed how her friend had tried to catch her but Lou had been able to avoid her so far.

It had been a very long day, and Lou welcomed the end of it. Theresa had scheduled a similar day for tomorrow but Lou hoped that she wasn't as tired as she felt today. She dragged herself up the stairs after clearing everything from dinner. She slipped into her bedroom and found Theresa among heaps of brown wrapping paper, underwear and linen. She was busy at seeing all the things that Louise had bought her in Blue Creek. Theresa looked up as her sister entered the bedroom. "Oh Louise, everything's so beautiful. Thank you so much, "she exclaimed and gave Lou a warm hug.

Lou smiled broadly. She was really glad that Theresa liked what she had bought for her. The girl looked so happy and laid-back; she was definitely enjoying the moments prior to her wedding. Lou was even gladder that she could share those moments with her little sister however tedious she found them.

Theresa stooped to pick up something that lay on the bed and asked, "But what about this?" She showed Louise a beautiful blue dress. "I couldn't fit inside it in a million years." Theresa giggled. She had a slim figure but she tended to be a bit wide in the hips.

Lou looked at her and realized it was the dress she had bought for herself. "Oh that's mine," Lou said, "I'll be wearing that dress on your big day."

"It's really beautiful," Theresa continued. "But what about the emerald one we chose together?" When Louise had stayed at Theresa's in Kansas, they had gone together to choose Theresa's wedding dress, which now hung lovely in her wardrobe, and Lou had let her sister choose one dress for her.

"Uh …," Lou began hesitantly, "it doesn't fit me any more. I've put on some weight." It was true. Almost all her clothes already felt too tight. Louise was surprised that she was getting bigger already in this early stage. She guessed that as she was really petite, she noticed the changes in her body straightaway.

"That's really an occasion!" Theresa exclaimed. "You haven't put on a single pound since…," she stopped. She had almost said 'since you got pregnant,' but Theresa was glad that she had bitten her tongue on time. She knew that her sister never talked about losing that baby. Theresa remembered those days so clearly. Louise had been sick in bed for weeks, and Theresa had never felt so scared in all her life. She had been afraid of losing her sister and being alone again. When Louise had finally recovered, she hadn't been the same. She had been like a walking shadow for some time and never mentioned the issue at all. Whenever anyone happened to say something about the matter, Louise got all frantic and reversed to long silent periods. Fortunately, those bleak days were long gone, but Theresa felt unable to bring up the subject. Louise still felt affected by that.

Theresa busied herself, picking up all the clothes and wrapping papers that lay scattered around the room. "I think I'll go to bed," Theresa mumbled, trying to deviate the attention from her blunder. She looked up at Louise, and realized that her sister had a serene expression. Theresa knew that Lou hadn't missed the meaning behind her words, but, to Theresa's utter surprise, Louise seemed unaffected. Whenever something was hinted about her miscarriage, even unintentionally, Louise's expression changed into one of sheer bitterness, but now something had changed, Theresa realized. Maybe Louise had finally got over all that.

Theresa jumped into bed, and Louise began undressing and donned her nightdress. She had noticed the implications behind Theresa's words when she had mentioned her weight. Her sister was right. She never put on a single pound, but rather the opposite. She had only gained weight the time she had been pregnant as she was now. Louise knew that Teresa had felt embarrassed and awkward for almost mentioning it, but to her own surprise, Lou didn't feel hurt or bitter as she used to. She didn't know whether it was because she was going to have a new baby or because she had come clean with Kid. The thing was that she had made peace with herself in that aspect.

"I'm exhausted," Lou said and approached the window to close the curtains. She threw a glance outside. There was a beautiful big moon tonight that cast its light over the ranch. She caught sight of Kid. He was heading towards the corral followed by Jimmy, Buck and Cody. She smiled broadly, and in that moment Kid saw her at the window. Lou realized that she missed him so much and her smile faded straightaway. She was feeling irritated and annoyed for having to spend the night with Theresa instead of with her husband. Since Kid was also looking at her, she waved at him timidly. Kid cast a short glimpse behind his shoulder, and realizing that the three men were busy in conversation, he blew Lou a kiss and kept walking not averting his eyes from the window.

"Aren't you coming?" Lou heard her sister's voice from the bed.

Louise let out a sigh. "I'm coming, I'm coming," she said quite irritated. She pulled the curtains closed hard and climbed into bed. She turned the lamp off and dropped her head heavily on the pillow. Lou turned round, her back now to Theresa and closed her eyes tightly. "For God's sake, Theresa, your feet are freezing!" Lou exclaimed irritated. "Move over, will you?"

"Sorry," the girl whispered, wondering why Lou sounded so annoyed all of a sudden.

Now that she had hit the bed Louise realized how weary she really was. She needed her rest. The day had been long after that horrible stagecoach journey. Besides, she was especially tired due to her pregnancy. She felt her body drift into sleep but a voice in the silent room brought her back to her senses. "Louise?" Somebody was calling her name. "Louise?" they called again and Lou realized that it was Theresa.

"What?" Lou said with a hoarse voice.

"Are you asleep?" Theresa asked in a whisper.

Lou rolled her eyes and made a gesture of impatience in the darkness. She remembered that when they had been kids, Theresa had always done the same trick. She kept repeating Lou's name till she finally woke her up and then the same silly question.

"Yes, I'm asleep," Lou said annoyed.

"Oh come on, Louise," Theresa exclaimed.

Lou chuckled and finally said, "All right, all right." She turned her body to her sister so that they were face to face. Lou peered at her in the darkness and said, "Fire away."

Theresa kept quiet for a few seconds and then asked hesitantly, "Louise, when you … when you first married Kid," she stopped, dubious about how to say what she wanted to say. Hearing her words Lou's interest perked and Theresa continued after a beat, "How was …uh … your wedding night?"

Lou smiled sweetly and said, "We sure didn't spend it playing checkers."

"I do know that," Theresa exclaimed. "But how was it?"

"I really don't know what to tell you. It was fine and … I don't know … very romantic," Lou said, not sure how to put that magical words into words.

"But what was it like? I mean, was he gentle?" Theresa kept asking, not completely satisfied with Lou's answer.

Then it dawned on her what Theresa really wanted to know. "Why don't you talk to Isabel? She married Jeremiah last year," Lou said. She really didn't feel comfortable with her sister's questions.

"I can't do that!" Theresa exclaimed. "I'd be too embarrassed. I'm asking you. You're my sister."

Lou let out an audible sigh. She knew that Theresa wouldn't drop the subject till she was satisfied with the answer. "Honey, you're not really asking about the wedding night, but about … the first time."

"But …, "Theresa began and then realized what Louise was telling her. "You did it before getting married!" the girl exclaimed scandalized.

"Don't get all prudish on me," Lou said annoyed. "I … I had a very different life from yours, Theresa. I guess I grew up a bit wild." Lou tried to excuse herself although she felt that she didn't need any excuses. "But it felt so right at the time."

Theresa kept quiet for a few moments and then asked, "Was Kid the first one?"

"Of course he was!" Lou exclaimed slightly offended. Kid had been the only man in her life in that sense. She always felt that he was the first one and in her heart he had been. What happened with Wicks didn't count.

"Sorry," Theresa apologized. "I didn't mean anything by that. I was just curious." Both sisters stayed quiet and after a while Theresa insisted, "So what was it like? Did it … uh … hurt?"

Lou kept quiet and looked at her sister's serious eyes in the darkness. How could she answer her questions? Kid had been the first man in her life, the first man she had really felt a woman with. The first time they had been together, they had felt so awkward. She remembered that day with fondness. Kid had been so gentle and had never tried to push her to do anything. He had been the first man who had really made love to her. Yet, Theresa wasn't asking about that; she wanted to know about the physical part in her first time. Louise felt unable to say anything.

How could she tell her little sister that she had felt like breaking inside? How could she say that she had been sore and bruised all over for weeks? How could she explain that she had been so ashamed of herself that she had felt unable to look at herself in a mirror for months? That she had been broken and scared. That his stench had lingered on her body or maybe on her mind for months and she had felt like throwing up. How could she tell all those things to Theresa? Her sister was about to get married. She had found her Prince Charming and wanted to live a fairy tale love. Lou wondered how she could tell Theresa that she had an unfortunate encounter with the ogre on the way. An encounter that still haunted her today. It wouldn't be fair for her sister to hear all that, nobody should hear that, it shouldn't happen. Sadly, it did happen and it happened to her.

"Louise?" Lou heard Theresa's voice urging her to talk.

"Uh … I … I …can't tell you," Lou stammered nervously.

"Why?" Theresa's voice sounded hurt and disappointed.

"Look, Theresa," Lou said, "things will work out for you and Joseph as you two want to."

The girl wasn't satisfied with Lou's answer. "But…" she tried to talk but Louise didn't let her.

"It will be fine, honey. You needn't worry," Lou said encouragingly.

The girl kept quiet for a few seconds, thinking about her sister's words. She smiled and added, "Thank you, Louise."

"You're very welcome," Lou said, "now go back to sleep."

The bedroom stayed in silence once more. Louise heard as Theresa's breathing turned to relaxed and long puffs after a few minutes. She realized that her sister had fallen asleep, but she couldn't sleep herself. The conversation with Theresa had brought back the images that Lou had tried so hard to bury for years. She still felt haunted by that terrible night and all of a sudden, she was feeling very scared. She wished Kid were here with her. She would feel so comforted in his arms. She was exhausted but she felt she couldn't sleep. Whenever she closed her eyes, those terrible images popped before her eyes. Yeah, it was gonna be a very long night.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

With her eyes still closed she grunted. A noise had interrupted her lovely dream and had woken her up much to her chagrin. However, she kept her eyes shut, resisting the force urging her to open them. She grunted again as she heard the nasty noise again. She was still in a haze, not completely awake. The noises kept resounding in the silence of the room. Little by little she began to be aware of her surroundings. _'It sounds as if someone was retching,'_Theresa thought with utter disgust identifying the noises that had woken her up. She opened her eyes suddenly and jumped out of the bed in no time.

"Louise!" Theresa called and became frantic as she realized that it was her sister who was violently sick.

Lou had woken up just a few moments ago, and as she finished dressing for the day she suddenly began feeling very sick. She had not even had time to leave the room as she was overcome by waves of nausea. She was really having it bad this time. In her other pregnancy she had hardly had any sickness but this time it seemed to be completely different. Last night she had barely had a few bites since she hadn't been very hungry and now she had emptied her stomach completely over the washbowl. She noticed Theresa's presence next to her.

"Louise!" the girl called her name again.

By this time the nausea had subsided and Lou managed to drag her weary body back to the bed. She dropped on the bed heavily and closed her eyes trying to regain some of her strength. Theresa followed her, with a worried expression on her face, and crouched by her side. "Louise, are you all right?"

Without opening her eyes Lou muttered with a very soft voice, "Just let me rest for a few moments." She still felt dizzy and weak. She just needed a few minutes to compose herself. She hadn't slept much last night and the day hadn't begun in the best way.

"Shall I tell one of the boys to go for the doctor?" Theresa asked, her voice tinged with worry.

On hearing her sister's words Lou quickly fumbled to sit up on the bed. "No!" she cried. She didn't need a doctor. She already knew what was causing this morning sickness. "I'm fine. It must be something I ate last night. It must have disagreed with my stomach."

"Are you sure?" the girl insisted. She remembered that Lou had hardly eaten two spoonfuls last night. That much couldn't have caused her to feel that sick.

"Of course, silly," Louise exclaimed. She got out of the bed and she noticed that she already felt much better. She was still feeling a bit shaky and weak, but the nausea had ceased. She just needed something to eat and she would have her strength back. "I'll clear the mess I've caused," Lou added, making a grimace. "And I'll make us a nice, big breakfast." Lou smiled as she left her sister's side.

Theresa kept looking after her, still worried. Lou didn't look all right at all. She was pale and had rings under her eyes. Theresa didn't remember Louise physically ill very often. She was the strongest woman the girl knew despite her petite appearance. The only time she could think of was when Louise had been pregnant and even then she hadn't had it bad. The thought surprised Theresa. Why was it that her sister's pregnancy had popped on her mind? She had hardly thought about it in the last few years as it brought about bad memories. Besides it was something nobody talked about in Louise's presence, but now the issue had come up on her mind twice in a row. "No, it can't be," Theresa said aloud. "You're just getting paranoid.

* * *

The lounge in Lou's house was filled with laughter. The girls had wanted to give Theresa her wedding presents in an intimate gathering. They had come together to have a nice lunch and share some laughs. It was an only-girls occasion. Theresa had welcomed the presence of her friends and family. They had brought the engaged couple such thoughtful presents and she felt she was the luckiest girl on earth for having such wonderful people who loved her. The four closest women to her were there, April, Emma, Rachel and of course Louise. Her friend Stacy and Isabel had left a bit earlier and decided to go on an expedition to town after lunch was over, but the rest of the women had stayed and were having a wonderful afternoon.

Rachel had cooked one of her delicious dishes for the occasion and right now they were sipping some coffee and about to eat the beautiful cake the blonde woman had baked. It looked scrumptious decorated with cream and wild berries. She was about to give Lou a piece when the girl said, "Not for me. Thank you, Rachel."

Rachel looked at her quizzically. "But it's your favorite!"

"I know," Lou said, "but I don't feel like it right now." She knew that she would die for a piece of Rachel's special cake any day, but now the look and the smell of the cream were turning her stomach. It seemed as if this pregnancy wasn't going to be very smooth.

Rachel stared at her with a surprised expression, but she didn't say anything further. Louise was behaving out of the ordinary more and more and she hadn't had the opportunity to talk to her younger friend because it was clear Louise was avoiding her.

The five women stayed in silence as they tasted big pieces of Rachel's delicious cake. Suddenly, there was a knock at the main door and Lou called out from her sitting position at the table, "Come in!"

The door opened slowly and Kid appeared hesitantly. Lou's face lit up as soon as she saw him. He tilted his head to the women. "Ladies," he said and they all greeted him warmly. All of them except Theresa who kept a long face. Kid turned to Lou, "Louise, the boys and I are going to Tompkins'. Do you need anything from town?" Kid looked at her in the eyes purposely.

"Uh … oh yes," Lou exclaimed clumsily. "I have a list in the kitchen. Come with me." She rose to her feet and headed for the kitchen with a very wide smile followed by Kid. As soon as they stepped in the room, Lou closed the door behind them and threw her arms around her husband. Kid kissed her hard and long, reveling in this moment that they both had longed for so much. Finally they pulled away breathlessly and Kid whispered, "Oh Lou, I've missed you so much."

"Oh me too," Lou said.

"This is driving me crazy," Kid admitted. It surprised him how much he needed her. She really woke feelings in him that the Southerner had never felt before, or at least didn't remember.

"Kid," Lou whispered, cautious about being heard by the ladies in the lounge, "it won't be long. My sister's wedding is tomorrow. We won't have to pretend any longer."

"Really, Lou?" He was tired of this hiding game and couldn't see the end of it.

Louise nodded and smiled mischievously. "But tonight… wait for me in the barn. I'll slip out when Theresa falls asleep." Kid smiled as she leaned over and planted a big kiss on his lips. Then she turned around and proceeded to leave the kitchen. Kid came after her to the lounge where the girls were chatting.

"Thank you, Kid," Lou said as she sat at the table next to her friends.

"My pleasure," Kid muttered politely. He was about to leave but noticing Theresa he addressed her. "Theresa, I wish you all kinds of happiness in your coming marriage," he said with a big smile.

The girl kept a serious face and barked visibly irritated, "Of course I'll be terribly happy. Joseph isn't a wife-abandoner as you are." She looked at Kid purposely, showing the irritation she felt.

"Theresa!" Lou scolded her sister energetically. She was completely shocked at her sister's words for Kid.

Hearing the girl's words Kid felt embarrassed and awkward. He excused himself and headed to the door. Lou rose to her feet and came to the door with him. She voiced a weak 'sorry' and smiled at him before she closed the door after him. She turned around and barged against her sister. "Theresa, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

"I don't know why I should," Theresa said, "I don't like him."

"That's not the way to talk to anybody," Lou insisted. She felt so terrible for the way her sister had treated Kid. He didn't deserve it.

"I can't smile at him as if everything's just fine," Theresa continued. Nothing Lou said was going to change her mind. She paused for a moment and then a thought crossed her mind. "He's not coming to my wedding, is he Louise?"

Lou let out an audible sigh and just said, "Theresa, he's family."

"But…," the girl was quick to protest but Lou didn't let her. "Look, Tessa, whatever happens or doesn't happen between Kid and me is just our concern, nobody else's. I know how to fight my own battles, all right?"

Theresa just nodded despite herself and kept quiet for a moment. She felt far from pleased. She couldn't pretend that she was fine with the situation because she wasn't. Kid hadn't treated her sister how she deserved. When Louise had come to her after Kid had turned up, Theresa had heard her sister cry herself to sleep every night because of him She couldn't easily forget the hurt that he had caused Louise. Theresa knew that her sister always tried to be strong to everybody's eyes, but the girl was aware that Louise was suffering because of that husband of hers.

Theresa would never have expected this from Kid. She remembered when he had really been part of her family. Back then she had thought that Louise couldn't have married anybody better than Kid. He had been so in love with her sister. Even though Theresa had been just a child in those days, she had noticed the looks and the gestures between them. You had to be a fool not to notice. Kid would have gone to the moon if Louise had asked him to. And for the first time Theresa had really felt she had a real family. She had been so proud and happy. Theresa had few memories of her mother and from when they had lived as a family. All she remembered was her life at the orphanage. Life there wasn't bad but it didn't feel like family.

When Louise and her husband had come and taken her and her brother, she couldn't have felt happier. Kid had been so good and patient with her and Jeremiah. She really had enjoyed her time with him. Kid used to listen to her harangues, help her with her school homework and just be there for anything she needed. Yet, one day he had gone and left Louise completely shattered. Theresa had seen how her sister had lived all those years of complete uncertainty. Louise got all frantic the day the deceased list arrived. She took the dreaded piece of paper in her trembling hands and when she double-checked that Kid's name wasn't among those on the list Louise let out her held breath. However, she never smiled, Theresa remembered. She kept a serious face as she knew that the process of continuous worry began till the next list. It was always the same. Theresa never saw Lou shedding a tear or uttering a complaining word. She just had that blank distant look that made her appear so different. Theresa had been a constant witness of all that and after that, she just couldn't act breezy with the present situation. It just wasn't fair.

Louise began picking up the plates from the table and Theresa couldn't keep quiet, "I really don't understand you, Louise. I don't know how you can stand this situation with him."

Lou decided not to say anything else. It was simply pointless to argue with her sister. Louise didn't like the way Theresa was talking about Kid, about her husband, but she could understand her posture. She silently took the plates to the kitchen and, as she reentered the lounge, she heard April talking.

"I know why she can," April said, a mischievous smile lighting her face.

"She can what?" Theresa asked, lost to the meaning behind April's words.

"Why she can manage this situation with Kid so well," April explained. She cast a shrewd look at Rachel and both women grinned knowingly.

Theresa arched her eyebrows quizzically. April's words had woken her interest suddenly.

Lou stood up with her arms folded and looked at April with an annoyed expression. "Oh come on, don't begin with that," Lou said.

April laughed merrily but stayed quiet. Theresa's curiosity got the better of her and she asked, "What are you talking about?" There was something she was missing here and she wanted to know.

"Yeah, what is it?" Emma added also curious about what April was saying.

"Don't," Louise tried to shush April but her attempts were in vain as Buck's wife had already made up her mind to talk.

April giggled mischievously and added, "There's a certain gentleman…" She cast a conspiratorial look at Rachel, who was smiling broadly amused.

"Really?" Theresa exclaimed, unable to hide her enthusiasm.

Lou sank down on a chair and said, "Please don't pay her any heed." She had to stop this nonsense. She was beginning to get tired of it.

"Oh come on, Lou," April continued. "Why don't you just admit that there's something going on between you and Captain Hoskins?"

"Oh God," Lou grunted and buried her face in her hands.

"An army officer!" Theresa exclaimed. She was smiling broadly.

"Really, Louise?" Emma sounded as elated as Theresa.

"Oh dear," Lou sighed. She didn't look amused at all by her friends' obvious enthusiasm. "This is just crazy."

"Oh Louise, why didn't you tell me?" Theresa asked. She felt so excited for her sister. It was high time Lou had some happiness.

Lou didn't say a word and looked up at the faces around her. Her friends were smiling and had expectant expressions. They were waiting for her to talk. She wasn't sure how all of the sudden she had become the center of attention. This was supposed to be for Theresa, not for her. She shook her head and muttered, "This is your special time, honey."

"Oh never mind me," Theresa replied. She was dying to know what had been going on with Louise.

Rachel had kept quiet during all this exchange. She really didn't understand why Lou seemed so adamant to keep quiet about the matter. It really surprised her and in a way it hurt her. Lou had always come to her whenever she had a problem and had never hidden anything from her. Even when they had been living apart on those first months she had stayed in Rock Creek, Lou had always turned to her. Rachel had learnt straight away that Lou had got pregnant. She had received the letter with the good news as soon as Lou had found out herself. She also got that brief and sad telegram telling her of the miscarriage. Yes, Louise had trusted her completely, but now Rachel was surprised and hurt that her friend wasn't being sincere with her. Lou seemed to feel so uncomfortable to talk about this and Rachel wondered why.

"Louise, you told me that you'd tell me everything when you got back from Blue Creek." Rachel couldn't stay quiet any longer.

"I know," Lou admitted. She kept her eyes downcast, not daring to meet those of her friend's.

"I've heard that you must have had a heck of a time in Blue Creek," April piped in. The same mischievous expression on her face.

Lou still kept quiet and Theresa was running out of patience and almost shouted, "Oh come on, Louise!"

Lou lifted her gaze and couldn't help but smile broadly. She looked at April fixedly and said, "It was wonderful."

The girls laughed delighted with Lou's words. Louise really felt at ease now that she had begun talking to Theresa and the girls. She really hadn't planned to say anything, but her friend's insistence was hard to fight. Besides she was feeling so exultant about everything that was happening to her that she wanted to shout how happy she felt. Moreover, she really was tired of the silly rumors about Captain Hoskins. It was high time she stopped them.

Theresa continued asking. She was still in the dark about what April and Rachel seemed to know everything about. Seemingly, her sister was in a romantic relationship with an army officer called Hoskins, but other than that she didn't know a thing. "What happened in Blue Creek?"

Lou kept quiet for a few moments. She hesitated about what to say. She had told Kid that they would announce their news together but she was feeling so elated that she couldn't hide it any longer. She had to tell somebody. She smiled an even wider smile and whispered, "I got married."

In that moment the room kept in complete silence. "What?" Rachel was the first one to talk. She had heard Lou clearly but she couldn't believe what her ears had heard.

"You got married?" Emma repeated. "Just like that?"

"Well, I …" Lou tried to say but Rachel wouldn't let her.

"This is the stupidest thing you've ever done, Louise McCloud," Rachel was almost shouting. She was furious at Lou. She couldn't believe that her friend could do something so plain stupid. "I really didn't expect this from you." Rachel was really hurt.

Emma wasn't pleased with Lou's news either but she tried to calm tempers down. She understood Rachel's reaction. Lou had always seemed a very sensible girl to her. The truth was that Emma hadn't seen much of her in the last years and maybe her sweet friend had changed more than she thought. "Since when have you been in this … uh … romantic liaison?" Emma asked, trying to understand what was in Lou's mind.

Lou sighed. That wasn't the reaction she had been expecting from her friends and they didn't let her explain herself. She wanted to say that she had married Kid, and not that stiff captain, but Rachel had begun to lecture her. "Around Christmas," Lou answered Emma's question without much enthusiasm, "but …" she tried to add but Rachel broke in again.

"Since Christmas!" Rachel exclaimed, getting angrier by the minute. "How could … How could you marry someone you hardly know? I'm beginning to doubt if I really know you, Louise."

"Rachel, it's not what you think," Lou was almost pleading to be heard, "I …" She tried again but this time it was Emma who interrupted her.

"But why the hurry, Lullabelle?" Emma asked, trying to keep tempers under control.

Lou was about to answer when to everybody's surprise Theresa, who had been quiet, spoke up. "You're pregnant!" she stated. Hearing Emma's question, realization hit her. Louise was with child. That was why she had put on weight and had been violently ill this morning. The idea had even crept in Theresa's mind but she had disregarded it as absurd, but now that Louise was talking about her new man, Theresa had no doubts of what she was talking.

Three pairs of eyes turned their attention to Louise. "Are you?" Rachel asked. Her expression was a mixture of disbelief, anger and pain.

"Oh God," was all Lou could utter. She had given up explaining herself. Rachel was in such a state that she wouldn't listen and now the older woman didn't seem much more pleased with Theresa's words.

"This is really the last straw!" Rachel exclaimed. How could Lou act so foolishly? She got herself pregnant and hurried into a senseless marriage. "I thought you had learned your lesson!" Rachel continued. She wanted to say so many things that she didn't know where to begin, but she felt that she couldn't just now. "I need to go," Rachel said and stomped towards the main door and out of the house.

"Rachel!" Lou shouted after her friend and blurted out the only thing she could find to justify herself. "I love him!" But Rachel was already out of earshot.

"Rachel, wait!" Emma called and followed her friend out of the house. Louise also ran after her two friends. She had to explain to them that it wasn't what they were thinking. She had married Kid and was going to have his baby. She was utterly in love with him and they had married because they wanted to be together, not just because of the baby. "Rachel!" she called as she reached the porch.

Rachel had already left the house and was crossing the yard followed by Emma. Lou called her name again as she stumbled out of her little yard but she stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh God," Lou said out loud as she saw that Rachel had reached the bunkhouse porch. Kid, Buck, Cody and Jimmy were there, getting ready to go to town as Kid had rightly said. Lou saw how a very altered Rachel reached them and gesticulated angrily. "Oh God, she's telling them!" Lou exclaimed bitterly. She knew that she was right as all the looks turned to her.

Then she saw Kid stalking towards where she was to everybody's surprise. He didn't look very pleased and Lou steeled herself for what she knew was coming. When Kid reached her, he didn't waste any time and just bellowed, "Did you tell them?" Kid was really annoyed. He had continuously insisted that they should come clean with their friends and she had argued that they should wait. Now she had spilled the beans about their marriage without even telling him and what was even worst was that Lou hadn't mentioned that it was him who she had married. Now everybody thought that she was the wife of that captain and the thought just made him boil with anger.

"It was a slip of the tongue, Kid," Lou tried to justify herself.

"And you didn't care to explain that it was me you had married?" Kid asked in the same angered tone.

"I tried, honestly, but they didn't let me. They just wouldn't listen," Lou replied. It was the truth. She hadn't meant to say anything. Somehow she had found herself in a situation where she had been forced to speak up. After telling the girls, she had wanted to explain that it wasn't what they thought. She was married to Kid, but Rachel had gotten so angry as soon as she had talked that Lou hadn't been able to say one more word. Rachel had just started barging against her and had left the house in a turmoil.

Kid didn't say anything and just kept staring at Louise with the same angered expression. After a few minutes he muttered coldly, "I'd better get ready for town. The boys are waiting for me." He turned around without further delay and stomped across the yard towards where the boys were already on their horses.

"Kid!" Lou called after him but he never turned his head. He joined the boys and after mounting his horse Kid and the rest rode off towards town. Lou also saw Rachel leaving on her buckboard. Emma was with her. Lou sighed sadly. Somehow at some point everybody had gotten angry with her. She just hoped that their anger wouldn't last. Much to her chagrin she realized that Kid had gotten angry as well and she couldn't blame him. She was even furious with herself. Hopefully his anger wouldn't last long, at least she hoped so. She sighed again and in that moment she noticed somebody's arm over her shoulders. Lou turned her head and realized it was her sister. April was by her side as well.

"Don't pay him any heed, Louise," Theresa said sweetly, "He had no right to come here and make you any demands." The girl and April had followed Louise in exiting the house. When they were on the porch, they saw a very angry Kid talking to Lou. Theresa couldn't believe Kid's nerve. After leaving her sister for another woman he had no call in asking for any kind of explanations. Louise was a free woman and could decide to do with her life whatever she'd choose.

Louise smiled at Theresa but didn't say a word. Now it was useless to try any kind of explanation. She had really messed it up this time. Rachel was furious with her, Emma wasn't much more pleased and she felt she hadn't been fair with Kid. She didn't know how she had come to be in this mess. When she began talking to her friends, she had intended to tell them that she had married Kid but eventually she hadn't been able to. She should have stopped this nonsense about Captain Hoskins as soon as she heard what her friends suspected. She had been a fool. Now everybody thought they knew the truth and Lou feared that she'd have to hear more than one lecture from her dear friends.

"I think it's really romantic," April said. "To meet somebody who swept you off your feet like that."

Louise laughed heartily at her friend's words. April had a way that always made her laugh. Most of the time the girl was so responsible and proper and she was just great with her two kids, but there was this crazy side of her, which Lou found so tender and amusing at the same time. April sometimes found the most illogical things in a way that nobody could consider. She had really been a breath of fresh air to Louise when her problems had weighed too much. April really had a way to make her smile even when Louise hadn't found any motive to do so. No wonder Buck had fallen for her since the first day he had met her. Now that everybody seemed to be so angry or thought that Lou had acted foolishly in her supposed marriage to Captain Hoskins, it was only April that seemed to find the matter romantic.

"Yeah, he really swept off my feet," Lou said, broadly smiling. It was true.

Theresa smiled and clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Oh Louise," the girl exclaimed, "I'm so glad for you."

"Thank you," Lou said, glad that at least Theresa and April hadn't reacted like Rachel.

"But where's your husband? Why isn't he with you at home?" Theresa asked.

"Well, I know a certain lady who has invaded my house, even my own bed," Lou replied in an amused tone.

"Oh Louise!" Theresa exclaimed mortified.

"Don't worry, honey. He's all right with it. He's much more patient than I am," Lou said with a smile. She had been somehow annoyed with Theresa's invasion but Kid had found the matter fine.

"Is your husband coming to my wedding, Louise?" Theresa asked again.

"Of course," Lou said matter-of-factly as the three of them walked up the steps of the house and sat on the chairs on the porch.

Theresa smiled pleasantly. She was so looking forward to meeting her sister's new husband. She was a bit annoyed because she hadn't been permitted to be at Louise's wedding again. When she had married Kid, Theresa had come down with the flu and hadn't been able to be with her sister on her big day and this time it had been Louise's decision to elope like that. Theresa would have liked to have been with her in that moment, but, anyway, the important bit was that Louise had found some happiness. Theresa hadn't seen her sister look so laid-back and happy in a long, long time. Nothing else really mattered.

"When's the baby due, Lou?" April asked.

Theresa smiled broadly. Not only had Louise got married, but also she was expecting a baby. The thing had slipped off her mind and now April's words made her beam for her sister.

"In September," Lou said unable to hide the smile forming on her face. The girl joined in her mirth, but on remembering Rachel's hurt expression and sudden departure her face fell. Lou hadn't meant to hurt her dearest friend like that and now she wished she could be sharing these light-hearted moments with Rachel too. "Rachel didn't seem very pleased with me," Lou mused.

"Don't think about it," April tried to disregard Lou's worries. "You know Rachel. She'll come round."

Lou turned her head to April. "I hope so, April," she said, her voice tinged with the melancholy she was feeling. She couldn't erase the worries from her mind. She knew that Rachel seemed really hurt. She had never seen her so angry before and she just prayed that Rachel would give her the opportunity to explain herself.

* * *

That night Louise waited till Theresa had fallen asleep to sneak out of the house. It amazed her how easily her little sister could drop off to sleep. The day before Lou had first married Kid, she hadn't been able to sleep a wink. She had been tossing and turning all night long as she had been so nervous. Yet, Theresa never seemed to lose any sleep over anything. No matter what worries occupied Theresa's mind, she always managed to sleep the night through like a baby. Louise wished she could be like her sister as her own worries kept her awake for long nights.

Luckily for Lou, as Theresa drifted into sleep she was able to leave the bedroom unnoticed. After her revelation Louise had tried to avoid everybody. She wasn't in the mood to talk or hear any lectures, which she knew would be coming. She had enough with Rachel as it was. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to catch up with Kid all day. She hated to think that he'd be angry with her. She had seen him come back from town but not once during the whole day had he been alone. She had tried to approach him but every time Kid had been with either Buck, Jimmy or Cody; even Teaspoon had been at the ranch today and Lou wouldn't welcome one of his talks right now. Lou had had to stop her intentions to talk to Kid and it pained her to realize that he hadn't made the slightest attempt to get rid of whatever company he was with and come to her side. Lou knew that he was still annoyed with her and it felt as if he was miles away from her grasp. She really missed him. It seemed like ages since they had last been together and alone. This morning she had told him that they would meet in the barn tonight. Louise just hoped that Kid wasn't so angry with her as not to come to her.

Louise stepped out on the porch and as she felt the night coldness in her body she wrapped her coat tightly round her. She was making her way down the steps when a voice startled her.

"Louise!"

She turned around and to her surprise Emma was sitting on the swing on her porch. "Can't you sleep?" the older woman asked her.

Lou approached her friend and instead of answering her question she asked, "What about you?"

Emma shrugged her shoulders and said smilingly, "I guess I just miss that husband of mine." She paused for an instant and then added. "Do you miss your husband tonight too, Lou?"

The younger girl stared at Emma fixedly and felt her cheeks blush hotly. Even though it was very dark, Lou subconsciously covered her red cheeks with her hands shyly. She noticed that Emma was looking at her placidly, which made her smile and she said, "Oh something terrible."

Emma grinned at Lou's sincere words and felt that she needed to tell Louise what was in her heart, "Lou, Rachel's just worried about you. Actually, we both are."

Lou came closer and leaned her back against the porch railing. "I know, Emma."

"She'll come round," Emma continued. "She loves you as her own and I can't say I don't understand her."

Louise just nodded. She was completely aware of everything Emma was telling her. She knew that there was such a strong bond between her and Rachel. Emma was really dear to her but Rachel had been with her through good and bad moments all these years. She could understand what Rachel was feeling. She would have reacted in the same way. "I'll talk to her … to all the family. I didn't have the chance to explain," Lou remarked.

Emma laughed as she remembered Lou's clumsy attempts to speak up but neither Rachel nor she herself had given the girl any option. "You're right, honey." She paused for a beat and then she asked seriously, "Do you love him?"

Lou smiled broadly and exclaimed, "Oh more than anything." There was not a single hint of hesitation in her voice.

Emma smiled at Lou's words. Her mothering instincts had prevailed and, as well as Rachel, her first thought had been one of worry. But now seeing Lou's resolute air Emma understood that they might not have anything to worry about. She had always trusted Lou. She had witnessed how that insecure teenage girl she had first met had grown into a really decent woman. Lou had done so well despite the problems she had to face in her short life. Emma considered that Lou had a right to do things her way. That's what she had always done and she had turned out to be just great.

"I think I'll try to snatch some shut eye," Emma said after a few minutes. "Come with me?"

Louise hesitated and finally muttered, "In a minute." She needed to see if Kid was waiting for her. She just hoped that he was. As Lou had told Emma, she missed him terribly and couldn't wait to be with him.

Emma rose to her feet and gave Lou a little peck on the cheek. "Good night," the older woman said with a smile as she made her way into the house.

Louise watched as Emma disappeared into her house. She waited for a few minutes and only then she hurried across the yard towards the barn. It was a black night and Lou almost fell as her foot tripped over some tool left at the barn door. "Damned boys!" she cursed out loud. She cautiously opened the big door and as she stepped in, she called his name, "Kid!" But nobody answered. She grasped a lantern hanging on the wall. She lit it and began advancing but she soon realized that she was alone in the barn. Kid hadn't come. Her face fell as she thought that he was angrier than she thought. Seemingly he didn't have any wish to see her. She blew the light out and left the lantern where she had found it. Lou dejectedly made her way out of the barn and as she was about to head for her house, she noticed some movement on the bunkhouse porch. Slowly she approached and as she came close, she realized that Kid was there in amiable chat with Cody, Jimmy and Buck.

Kid was leaning over the railing and the others were sitting on the porch steps. Kid noticed her straight away and as he lifted his gaze towards her, the others turned to whatever had attracted his friend's attention.

"Lou," Buck said on seeing her, "what are you doing up so late?"

Louise had reached them and just shrugged her shoulders as an answer to Buck's question. She looked at Kid and to her surprise he smiled at her. She couldn't help but smile back. She arched her eyebrows questioningly, trying to convey why he wasn't waiting for her in the barn. Kid smiled wryly and cast her a meaningful look. Lou understood that he had been stuck with their friends and hadn't been able to do anything about it. It really moved Lou to know that despite today's events he was still trying to play by her rules. She knew that he had wanted to announce their new marriage in a more appropriate way and she felt she had messed it up.

"How are you, Lou?" Jimmy asked. They all had heard from Rachel the unexpected news about Louise. He wanted to ask her about that but he also knew that Lou needed her space. She wouldn't be very willing to talk about it.

"I'm fine," she said as she sat down on the porch step just in front of Kid's standing figure.

Cody was also dying to ask Lou about the whole matter but he wasn't known to be very subtle, so at the first opportunity he just blurted out the question. A smirk flickering at the corner of his mouth. "So Lou, how's this … uh … Captain Hoskins?"

Lou turned her head to meet her blonde friend's eyes. Cody realized that she was anything but pleased with the question. "Don't get me started, Cody," Lou ranted. "Shut up, will you?"

"All right, all right," Cody lifted his arms defensively as the others were also throwing daggers at him. "It was just a question."

The five of them remained in silence after Cody's blunder for a few moments, enjoying the peace the night brought about. It was Lou who broke the silence of the moment. "It is such a lovely night."

"It sure is," Buck agreed.

Lou smiled and added, her gaze directed ahead of her. "Doesn't it remind you of old days? We used to sit on this very spot in nights like this and talk for hours. Tonight really feels like those days. I'm kinda expecting Rachel's voice telling us to go to sleep."

"I don't know, Lou," Jimmy objected, "Many things have changed."

"We have changed," Cody agreed with his friend.

Lou shook her head. "Not really," she said. "Unfortunately, some gaps will never be replaced." She cast a meaningful look at Buck and then carried on. "But we're still the same. Jimmy, you're still hotheaded … in your way and Cody, you're the same buffoon." She paused and in that moment Kid eased himself off his standing position and sat just next to her. Lou turned her head to him and she added smilingly. "No, everything's just the same."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Since she had woken that morning, Louise hadn't stopped for one single minute. Today Theresa was getting married and she was getting just a bit too demanding. If the girl had been completely calm in the last days, today she was a bundle of nerves. It was quite understandable, but her attitude was driving Lou crazy.

Louise had woken up feeling as sick as she had been the last few days. She feared that she'd better get used to it as it seemed it was going to be the rule during her pregnancy. She really hated feeling like this. She hadn't actually felt this sick before and all her tiredness also added to this. Lou made a note that she should try to get better rest from now on. Last night she hadn't gone back to bed till quiet late. Another almost complete sleepless night. She hadn't been able to be with Kid alone as she had planned, but she had enjoyed some pleasant moments with him and the others. It had felt so fine. She couldn't remember the last time they had been together like that.

After enjoying a big breakfast, despite Theresa's complaints, it was time for the girl to get ready for the occasion. Emma and Isabel were there to help and Lou was really thankful for that. She couldn't manage Theresa on her own in the girl's present mood. She changed from being all smiles to grumpy in a matter of seconds on top of her incessant demands and complaints. It was really too much for Lou to deal with. Louise didn't recall being this nasty on her wedding day. She had been nervous naturally but nothing out of the ordinary. She was supposed to be the one to have mood swings. She was pregnant; not Theresa. Yet, apparently, all this wedding business was affecting her sister in the same way as her pregnancy was playing havoc on Lou's nerves. Fortunately, today Lou felt in a cheerful mood, but even so she had been about to snap at Theresa a couple of times.

Emma was doing Theresa's beautiful long hair while the girl was complaining about some petty thing. Louise had stopped listening to her sister's whining long ago. It surprised her how Isabel and Emma seemed to be taking the girl's attitude quite calmly. Theresa was behaving like a spoiled brat and was getting on Lou's nerves with her nagging. Louise decided to leave the bedroom for a while and go downstairs to have a drinking of fresh water and calm down. Lou was reaching the end of the stairs when she heard a knock on the door. She opened the door and her face lit up when she saw Kid before her. "Hey, handsome!" she greeted him and gave him a long kiss on the lips.

Kid smiled at her fresh gesture. The anger he had felt towards her yesterday had faded. He had really been annoyed, but he couldn't keep angry with her for long. Thinking everything over, he considered that in a way her slip was kind of funny. He couldn't wait to see everybody's faces when they finally told them the truth and he knew that now it wouldn't be long. They were standing at the door and Kid asked in a playful way, "What if somebody sees us?" He was referring to the long kiss that they had just shared. He knew that nobody had seen them. Everybody was in the bunkhouse, getting ready for Theresa's wedding and there wasn't a soul in the yard.

Lou shrugged her shoulders and said smilingly, "I don't care."

Kid smiled and kept staring at her eyes for a few moments. Suddenly, he remembered why he had come to see her this morning. He wasn't eager to tell her as he knew she wouldn't be too pleased. "Lou, remember that fella, Brown? The one we sold a few horses this week?" Kid asked. Louise nodded and he continued, "I got word from him just now. Apparently, he urgently needs a couple more of our horses today. Seems he is in some kind of fix. So I'm afraid I'll have to do the job and take them."

"No!" Lou whimpered. "Not today. It's Saturday and my sister's wedding."

Kid nodded ruefully and added, "Lou, you know I have to go. I can't ask any of the boys. It wouldn't be fair. We gave them the day off for attending Theresa's wedding."

Lou puffed irritated. She just wanted Kid to be there with her today. "It's not fair for you either," she pouted. "I wanted to dance with you." She thought ruefully that now it wouldn't be much different from when Jeremiah had married. She had been alone and today she would be lonely too. Admittedly, the situation wasn't quite the same and she knew where her husband would be now, but still, she felt quite annoyed.

"Lou, it won't take me more than three hours," Kid said. "I'll be there to dance with you, I swear. Save me all the dances, will you?"

Louise smiled despite feeling irritated for the sudden change of plans. She would undoubtedly save all the dances for him. Finally, she relented and said, "All right, I'll be waiting for you at the restaurant."

Kid was about to say something, but then a voice sounded behind him, "Hi". He turned around and realized it was Rachel, who stood on the porch just behind him. Kid greeted her warmly, "Morning, Rachel. You really look stunning today." The woman was wearing a white embroidered blouse and a very elegant skirt. Her hair, which she usually had in a plaid or a bun, was hanging loose.

"Thank you, Kid," Rachel said smilingly. "I've come to see how the bride is doing."

Louise kept quiet from her position at the door. She felt awkward in Rachel's presence. The thought that she had somehow messed up her friendship with Rachel pained her terribly. Rachel would understand when she told her; actually, Lou knew that Rachel would be the first to feel happy for her. What worried Louise was that her friend held a grudge for not trusting her in the first place.

"I was just leaving," Kid said. "If you'll excuse me." He tipped his hat to both women and began to make his way down the steps onto the yard, but he stopped as Lou suddenly called out his name. He turned round and Louise muttered, "Ride safe, will you?"

Kid smiled at her, hearing the worry behind her words, and just said, "Always." Then he continued his way out of Lou's place.

As Kid left, Louise felt terribly uncomfortable just with Rachel's presence. _'It is really foolish,'_Louise thought. Rachel had been her friend since they first met, but she had never seen her friend as angry as yesterday, at least not with her. They had argued many times; it was something natural between close friends, but the way Rachel had looked at her yesterday hadn't left Lou impassive. It wasn't what she had actually said; it was the pain in her eyes that had expressed what Rachel felt. Lou saw in them that her friend had felt in a way betrayed by her after so many years of friendship, and Lou just felt terrible. Now that Rachel was with her, the two alone, Lou didn't seem to find the right words to say. She didn't dare to meet her eyes, but fortunately, it was Rachel who spoke up.

"You two really get on well. I can't say it doesn't surprise me," Rachel said, glancing at Kid's figure disappearing inside the stables.

Louise just shrugged her shoulders and let her friend in the house. They stood in the middle of the hallway, looking at each other but without saying one single word. Again it was Rachel who began the conversation. "How are you, Louise?"

"I'm fine," Louise whispered with a thin voice. She lowered her eyes, not daring to meet her friend's inquisitive gaze.

"So you're gonna have a baby?" Rachel asked.

Lou nodded. Right now she was feeling so small. She felt as if she were fifteen or even younger. She had never had to give any explanations to anybody since a very young age. Her mother had died when she was just a little girl and from then on she had basically been her own person. She had always done whatever she had wanted in every moment, but now she felt as if she owed Rachel something. Although she was an adult woman now, surprisingly, she really cared what her friend thought. It was at this moment that Louise realized how much Rachel meant in her life. She looked up and to her surprise Rachel was smiling.

"How are you feeling, Lou?" Rachel asked again.

"I've seen better days," Lou replied. For the first time she dared to smile and Rachel let out a peal of laughter. After a while Lou said sincerely, "I'm so sorry, Rachel. I …,"

The woman shushed her. "Come here, silly," she said and hugged Lou warmly. The girl wrapped her arms around her friend and reveled in the feeling of relief she felt. "That husband of yours and I need to have a very long conversation," Rachel muttered.

Louise giggled at Rachel's motherly attitude. "Oh he won't mind, I'm sure," Louise exclaimed, "You'll see him later." She stopped and looking straight at Rachel's eyes, Lou felt the need to express how she was feeling. "I'm really sorry, Rachel. I need to talk to you, to tell you the truth."

In that moment a loud voice calling Louise from upstairs resounded in the house. It was Theresa. Lou rolled her eyes, which made Rachel laugh. "Seems we'll have to leave that conversation for later," Rachel said and added, "So tell me how the bride is getting on?"

"Oh she's driving me nuts," Louise said. Both women laughed as they climbed the stairs towards the bedroom. Louise was feeling elated that she had been able to mend her problems with her friend. Since yesterday she had had this fear in the pit of her stomach. But now she really was relieved that things between Rachel and her were back to normal. She still had to talk to her and explain everything.

They let themselves into the room and Lou stopped dead in her tracks. Her mouth fell open as she saw her sister in her wedding dress. She was really a sight. She looked beautiful and all of the sudden, Louise realized that Theresa wasn't a little girl any longer. She really was a grown-up woman and in a way the thought sent a stabbing pain to her heart. Lou wished she could get back all those years she had been apart from her siblings. She had missed so much and they were now beginning their own lives. In a way, she was having a taste of her own medicine. She had left them when they were very young even though her reasons were more than justified, and now it was them that were leaving her. She knew that she couldn't stop time as she also knew that she couldn't have done otherwise. Anyway, whatever she had done they would have left her eventually. Louise kept staring at the lovely image of her sister and heard Rachel exclaim, "Oh Theresa, you look beautiful!"

The girl smiled her brightest smile and she turned to her sister. "Louise, what do you think?"

Lou felt as if she couldn't talk. She was feeling really emotional and tried to control the tears that threatened to spill. She pursed her mouth tightly but her lips began quivering despite herself. Her eyes were getting blurry and as she saw Theresa smile at her obvious emotions Louise just blurted out, "Damn pregnancy!"

Everybody laughed at Lou's words. Theresa's face lit and smiled even wider. Louise didn't need to say anything else; the girl knew what her sister was thinking. She approached Lou and gave her a hug. They stayed like that for a few moments, but Emma's voice brought them out of their reverie. "I think we should get going. Your husband-to-be must be waiting."

Theresa giggled happily and exclaimed, "All right, let's get married then."

* * *

It was a fact. Theresa was now a married woman. The church service had been very emotive, especially for Lou. She had found it so moving when Jeremiah had walked Theresa down the church aisle. Lou couldn't believe that they were so grown-up and she felt so proud. The rest of the service had been intense. Louise had relived her own wedding as her sister pronounced those sacred words that joined her to the man by her side for ever. Lou couldn't help thinking about Kid. She wished he were there with her and she wondered where he was right now, what he was doing. She just hoped that he hurried up and came to her soon. It was strange but she now felt so vulnerable without him. She had thought that she was used to living without him and in a way over time she had accepted that she had lost him for ever, but that time seemed so far away. Since Kid had returned to her life, she just felt as if he had never gone.

The church had been packed with guests to the wedding. Lou could see that Theresa's in-laws had lots of relatives and acquaintances. Louise looked around her and just saw a lot of unknown faces; many men in army uniform, snotty ladies. Not at all the kind of people Lou was used to. She watched as everybody congratulated the couple. Lou cringed at hearing people calling her little sister Mrs. Addams. Louise still saw Theresa as a little girl and now everybody was calling her 'Mrs'. She had felt the same when she herself had got married. She wasn't used to being called 'Mrs. McCloud'. Actually, she didn't even recall being called Miss McCloud that much. She was just Lou, that was what she had always been. And all of the sudden, she had become Mrs. McCloud. It had sounded so strange and stiff to her ears. In a way, it was nice because it meant she was married to Kid even though she didn't have his name. But other than that, she had never liked the name. Fortunately, not many people called her Mrs. McCloud. For her family and friends she was just Lou, and that was what she would always be.

After the church there was a small reception at the local restaurant. It was really noisy and busy inside. There were so many people who had attended the wedding and Louise was beginning to feel tired. Now that she thought about it, Louise realized that since she had returned from Blue Creek, she hadn't had proper rest. That was why she was feeling exhausted all the time.

The day dragged endlessly for Lou. She felt compelled to make petty talk with a lot of people she had never met before. She understood that being Theresa's eldest sister she was kind of in the centre of attention. People felt that they had to pay their respects to the bride's family. She was tired of all these formalities and didn't have any wish to talk to such a bunch of uninteresting people about really nothing. It was her dear sister's wedding day and Lou wasn't enjoying it a bit. Kid hadn't turned up yet, she hadn't been able to spend any time with her friends and Theresa seemed as busy with the guests as she was.

She spotted all her family at the other end of the room. The band was playing a really sweet melody and several couples were dancing in the middle of the hall. Louise was with a couple of ladies who had been babbling on for at least the last hour. She had stopped actually listening to their words as the women banged on about their daughters, but she couldn't bear it any more and finally managed to excuse herself and headed over to where her friends were. They smiled at her as she reached them.

"Oh man, am I tired!" Lou exclaimed and let out a sigh.

"Oh honey, have a seat," Rachel hurried to say as she brought a chair closer to Louise. Lou smiled as she sat down next to her friends, who were polishing off their plates with cake. "You shouldn't strain yourself too much," Rachel added.

Lou smiled at her friend's words. "Are you planning to spoil me, Rachel?" she asked amused.

"You bet I will," Rachel said smilingly. "I wasn't around when …" her voice faltered as she knew that the subject was a painful memory to Louise. She paused and after a lapse she said with determination in her voice. "I'm here now and I'll keep an eye on you whether you like it or not, Louise McCloud." Rachel had felt so terrible that Lou had had to go through the miscarriage all by herself. The older woman had rushed to Sweetwater as soon as she heard, but unfortunately, she hadn't been there when Lou had needed her most. Rachel knew what it was to suffer a miscarriage and be all alone. She herself had lived the same nightmare, but Rachel guiltily thought that Lou needn't have been alone. She should have been there with her younger friend but there was nothing she could now do about the past. Now Rachel swore to herself that she would see to it that Lou was well taken care of this time.

The former station mistress still doubted that Lou's marriage had been one of her friend's greatest ideas. What kind of marriage was this? The man hadn't appeared at the ranch at all. Wasn't he worried about how Lou was doing especially now she was pregnant? He just seemed unconcerned as the facts spoke louder than words. Rachel was so angry at the man's obvious indifference. She could understand that army men had heavy responsibilities, but just this morning Rachel had seen Captain Hoskins in town as she was heading towards the ranch. He was just roaming around, seemingly in idle chatter with two other gentlemen, just lazing around. By the looks of it he was having a great time. On seeing Rachel the captain had tried to greet her politely but the woman had kept a proud stance and had continued walking without even turning her head or acknowledging the man's presence.

Rachel had been so furious and about to give the man a piece of her mind, but eventually thought to wait for a better moment. As sure as the sky was blue, Rachel would have a very long talk with that man. He had married Louise and got her pregnant, and, well, Rachel would make sure that he acted as a proper husband for Louise. Lou just didn't need any more lame versions of husbands. Rachel was still angry, especially as she hadn't seen hide or hair of him all day. Louise had said or maybe hoped, Rachel thought, that he would turn up and see her, but he hadn't made his appearance so far.

"Thank you, Rachel," Lou said at her friend's words. She felt that she had nothing to fear this time. She wasn't alone. She had Rachel, her friends and especially she had Kid.

Jimmy kept staring at her and finally said, "I still can't believe that you're pregnant."

Lou smiled shyly and added, "Just tell me the same in six months' time." She giggled, imagining the scared moment she went into labor. Everybody started laughing and joined in her mirth.

"So having fun, Lou?" April asked.

"Seems some are having more fun than others," Lou answered with an amused expression. They were watching as Teaspoon and Emma were having a go at the dance floor. Louise laughed. It really was a sight to watch. Emma was trying to keep up with the marshal's awkward steps. She was laughing delighted as if she were having the time of her life. Louise also caught a glimpse of Cody dancing with a pretty girl. Cody was still the same, Lou thought. He wasn't one to waste his time and hang around. He just didn't miss any opportunity to approach any girl who caught his eye. That was just Cody.

As Louise was watching the couples out on the dance floor, she caught sight of Theresa leaving her now husband's company and come towards them. She had the biggest smile plastered on her face and as she reached them, she said, "Oh, so sorry to neglect you. I've been stuck with Joseph's family and friends." Buck stood up to give his seat to the bride and the girl sank down on the chair heavily. Her feet were killing her and the many emotions in the day were taking their toll on her. She was really exhausted.

"Don't worry, honey," Rachel said smilingly.

Theresa smiled and turned to her sister. "So where is he, Louise?" she asked in a playful tone. She had tried to catch sight of any man coming near Louise, but her sister had always seemed busy talking with some of her guests. Theresa just didn't want to miss meeting her brother-in-law.

"Who?" Lou tried to feign ignorance.

"Captain Hoskins, silly," Theresa insisted. "You said he'd come to the wedding."

"No, I didn't say such thing," Lou exclaimed. Just the sound of the man's name made her cringe.

"Of course you did!" Theresa cried out. "Didn't she, April?"

Rachel was watching the exchange with her full attention. She was curious to know how Lou was feeling about the man's absence. Rachel supposed that her friend must have felt upset. She had told Rachel that he would be there for the wedding today, but he wasn't and Rachel was surprised at this new attitude in Lou. She was denying to have said any of that bare-faced. Louise wasn't like this. She would never deny something that she knew was true since she was very straightforward. But this new attitude of hers confused Rachel. Maybe she was trying to hide how she really felt; how she felt hurt and embarrassed.

"Yes," April answered Theresa's question. "Lou, you told us that your husband was coming to your sister's wedding."

Lou looked at April with an amused expression. "You're right, April," she said, "That's what I roughly said." Then she burst out laughing uncontrollably to everybody's surprise. Theresa and the rest looked at her as if she had lost her mind. What was so funny about it?

"Oh come on, Louise," Theresa whined. She didn't find Lou's attitude amusing in the least. "Stop fooling around." She kept quiet, hoping that Lou would tell her where that husband of hers was. In that instant Theresa's eye was caught by the person entering the room right now. "Oh no," Theresa grunted, a rueful expression in her face.

Louise turned her eyes towards whatever had attracted her sister's attention. Her face lit as she saw Kid coming towards them. She smiled broadly and her face felt hot all of the sudden. He was wearing his suit and Lou thought that he looked so handsome. He had taken the trouble to go to the ranch and get changed. Lou wouldn't care what he'd be wearing as long as he were with her, but now she was glad that he looked so smart in his suit.

"Hey, Kid!" Buck waved to his friend as he also noticed him in the crowded room.

Louise turned to her sister and talked to her with a serious stance. "Be nice, all right?" she warned.

Theresa was about to protest but Kid had already got to them. He tilted his head smilingly and said, "Ladies, you look beautiful tonight." He smiled broadly and his eyes lingered on Lou just a bit longer. Then he turned to Theresa and added, "Congratulations, Theresa."

The girl just snorted and Louise cast a furious look at her. "Uh… Kid," Lou began hesitantly, "was everything all right?"

"Just fine," Kid said, "I'd have come earlier but Mrs. Brown insisted I had some refreshment. She wouldn't hear a no for an answer. I couldn't refuse."

"Of course not, Kid couldn't refuse a woman," Theresa muttered maliciously. Louise turned her furious eyes to her sister once again. She was tired of Theresa's snide remarks to Kid. The girl's attitude really shocked and embarrassed her.

Kid's smile faded on hearing Theresa's words. Clearly the girl was really sore at him and the Southerner really felt self-conscious. He cleared his throat and trying to sound casual he talked to Louise clumsily, "Lou… uh … may … I have the pleasure of this dance?"

Louise smiled broadly and as she was about to respond, to her own chagrin she heard Theresa's loud and clear voice, "No, you may not." Lou looked daggers at Theresa and without turning her attention from her sister she said, "Of course you may, Kid." The girl didn't flinch and glared back at Louise. She really didn't understand why Louise had to waste her time with him. Lou rose to her feet and only when she felt Kid's hand taking hers she turned her attention to him. She met his eyes and couldn't help but beam with pleasure. She hooked her arm around his and let Kid steer her to the dance floor.

Theresa watched them as they began to dance with a grim expression. She turned to the others around the table and asked, "Why can't he leave her alone?"

"Honey, Kid is a good man," Rachel said.

"They're good friends now, Tessa," Buck added.

Theresa felt annoyed with her family's obvious biased attitude. "Some friend he has been to my sister," she muttered irritated.

"Sometimes things are out of our control, Tessie," said Emma, who had joined them after her exhausting dance with Teaspoon.

"Maybe," Theresa admitted reluctantly, "but she doesn't need him any more. So he may well let her be."

Nobody said anything else and they all kept looking at their two friends enjoying their dance. They were laughing happily as they swayed with the music. Rachel stared at them, feeling a mixture of regret and melancholy.

"It's really surprising how well they get along," Jimmy voiced what they were all thinking. His two friends seemed to be so much at ease with each other's company. When he had last been to the ranch, Lou seemed to have more than one problem with her situation with Kid, but now it was as if it didn't trouble her anymore. Jimmy remembered when his two friends had broken up during their Pony Express days. They had stayed friends, but in a way there was this tension between the two of them. But now Jimmy didn't notice that strain at all.

"Looking at them you'd think time has frozen," Emma remarked.

Rachel let out an audible sigh and added in a feeble voice, "But everything has changed so much. She's married to that man and he himself is planning a wedding."

"No, he's not," Buck said.

Rachel turned her surprised eyes to Buck and asked, "What do you mean?"

"He and Alice broke up, Kid told me," Buck answered.

"When?" Rachel asked again.

"Sometime around Christmas," Buck said. "He told me that he felt a bit awkward talking about it. That's why he didn't say anything."

Buck's words resounded in Rachel's ears and then thoughts flashed though her mind. She heard Louise's voice over and over again. _"Around Christmas", "Rachel, it's not what you think"; "I need to tell you the truth."_ Could she just dare to think that …? As she kept looking at the couple's happy faces, Rachel remembered Kid's fishy absences, at the dance, last week; all of them happened when Lou surprisingly wasn't around either. _'And she never admitted anything about Captain Hoskins."_Rachel thought. She turned to April and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

April looked at her quizzically, not understanding what her friend was getting to.

"What are you talking about?" Theresa asked as clueless as April seemed.

Rachel rose to her feet and approached the couple dancing. She tapped Louise on the shoulder and signaled to the two of them to follow her. Lou and Kid looked at their blond friend surprised and just did as Rachel said. The woman slowly sank down on the chair she had just left as Kid and Lou stood with expectant expressions.

"Rachel?" Lou urged to tell her what it was her friend wanted that required her to interrupt her and Kid's dance. Rachel looked at them and her eyes instantly fell on her friends' clasped hands. On following Rachel out of the dance floor they hadn't given any thought and they were still hand in hand. It was a totally subconscious act; it was something normal between them. Noticing Rachel's eyes on them she let go of Kid's hand immediately but she didn't miss Rachel's small smile forming on her lips.

"Louise, don't you have anything to tell us?" Rachel asked with an enigmatic smile.

"What do you mean?" Lou said non-chalantly. She felt quite self-conscious with the looks from her friends glued on her.

"You know," Rachel stopped purposely and then added with a knowing smile, "for example, who is your husband?" She looked at Lou purposely. "I'm sure you can enlighten us."

Theresa didn't understand what Rachel was talking about. Lou had already told them that she had married that captain. All of them had been there when Lou had spilled the beans.

Lou laughed, cast a brief glimpse to Kid and then she looked at her friend with a bemused expression. "Why, Rachel," Lou began in a playful way, "I seem to remember you were in my wedding, wasn't she, Kid?"

Kid smiled amused and simply said, "I guess she was."

"She means your wedding in Blue Creek!" April exclaimed. She was really curious about what Lou had to say. Apparently, Rachel wasn't convinced yet that Lou had married Captain Hoskins. April herself didn't have any doubts about the whole thing. She and Rachel knew that their friend had a romance with the man, so the conclusion was just logical. But, anyway, she wanted to hear from Lou herself. Her friend hadn't talked much about it and April felt curious. She really was getting tired of Lou's games. Why couldn't she talk straight?"

Lou smiled sweetly. For someone as sharp as April she sometimes was slow in catching hints, as everybody seemed to be as well. There wasn't a single reaction; only Rachel had a knowing expression but Lou understood that she wanted her to talk clearly. Louise looked at April and said, "That wedding, this wedding, no difference," she paused and directing her gaze at Rachel Lou added, "at all." She looked around and saw her friends' still blank expression. Only Rachel was smiling but seemed too emotional to move. To make her point Lou reached for Kid and gave him a light kiss on the lips.

"You two little scoundrels!" Jimmy exclaimed and he hurried to hug his two friends. Lou and Kid smiled broadly as one by one all their friends came to congratulate them. Rachel approached her and hugged her tightly, "I'm just so happy for you, Louise… for the two of you," the older woman said still clasping Lou against her.

The two women finally pulled apart and Lou muttered, "I know, Rachel." She looked at Kid, who was by her side and smiled at him. "There is … there will be nobody else for me, Rachel … ever."

The woman didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. In the last twenty-four hours she had been frantic with worry for Lou, but now all her worries disappeared. Kid was the man for Louise, he had always been. Lou would just be fine now after such a long time. She was again with the only man she had loved: her husband and they were going to have a baby.

All of them had gathered around Kid and Lou. The couple had to hear more than one wisecrack, especially from Cody, but Lou just didn't care. Everybody could have their fun at their expenses. In a way, she welcomed the bantering. It just felt good.

Theresa had stayed a bit behind the group as she was feeling very awkward. She hadn't expected this turn of events at all. She was happy for Louise. She knew how much she loved Kid and now that Theresa watched them casting looks at each other she could tell that Kid loved her as much as Theresa had seen years ago. But the girl couldn't help but feel terrible. She had behaved towards him hideously. She tentatively approached them and said, "Kid, I'm really sorry for the way I've been treating you."

Kid smiled at her, glad that the girl had got over her dislike towards him and just said, "It's all right, Theresa. Actually, I need somebody to keep me on my toes here. But I assure you I'm not planning to hurt your sister … ever again."

Theresa nodded and just said, "I know." She reached and gave each of them a peck on the cheek. She felt that things had turned out better than she had hoped. She was now a happily married woman and her sister had been given a second opportunity with the man she loved. Kid felt relieved that Theresa didn't plan to hold a grudge against him. The girl had clearly made him know that she was anything but pleased with him. Kid couldn't blame her for feeling like that, but he had feared that because of him there could be a rift between the two sisters.

Buck approached him and patted him on the back affectionately. Kid smiled and Buck asked, "So you remembered?"

Kid shook his head, "Not a thing, I'm afraid, my friend," he said and looking at Lou straight in the eyes he added, "I just fell in love with this woman." He leaned over and kissed his wife long and tenderly. They pulled away as they heard Teaspoon's voice saying, "I think this deserves a toast for the new bride and for our Lou."

Kid and Lou smiled and joined in the toast. Kid leaned towards Lou and whisper in his wife's ear. "I love you."

She smiled broadly, feeling happy for having her family with her and for having Kid. She looked at him smilingly and added seriously, "I love you too. But never forget me again." Kid smiled and drew her to his arms, feeling that he couldn't forget, not any more.

**The end**

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**This is the end of this flawed story. Thanks to those who have read it and shown me their encouragement. Thanks a lot!**


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